Face Down

Farrah-
After seeing what happened with you andyour boyfriend Adam last night, there was something you need to know…something I need to tell you. Please.Love notes aren’t really my thing, but think of this as a last-ditch effort, a final attempt to try to get you to fucking listen for once.

You know, you drive me crazy. I told you countless times about Adam and about how he got expelled for abusing up a girl at a school nearby, but ignorantly you still went out with him last night anyway. You were convinced he’s changed. He promised, you told me, he would never do anything like that to anyone ever again.

You didn’t see me but I saw you. I was hanging out with the guys last night at Denny’s and afterward decided to walk home. I decided to take the shortcut through the alleyway, only to find him pushing you face down in the dirt.

“This doesn’t hurt,” I heard you say feebly, after getting up and brushing yourself off. And then, “I’ve finally had enough,” and run off.

I told Adam off after you ran away. I was about to fight him but I didn’t want to sink to his pathetic level. Hopefully, you don’t mind.

I can’t help but blame myself for all of this….I didn’t try hard enough. I had all the answers right in front of me, but I could’ve tried harder, but didn’t. I saw the bruises and the scars. Sometimes, when you have your blinds open, I see you crying in your room(no! I’m not stalking you! When I’m just in my room chilling and you crying, well…it like’s a car crash – you want to look away but can’t force yourself to do so). And then he puts that girl in a fucking coma.
The part that hurts the most? When I saw you, splayed out on the ground, your wild red hair flying all over the place, your green eyes watering to the brim with tears, your face streaked with dirt…I was frozen. I couldn’t move. Half of me was still trying to piece together what the hell just happened. For that, I’m so sorry. So damn sorry.

But you? You’re worse off. You knew from the start. Why didn’t you tell anyone? Why didn’t you tell me, your best friend? Why didn’t you just break up with him? You’re actions make me question your sanity.

Despite all of that, I’m insanely in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since you moved next door to me in kindergarten and how we’ve been best friends ever since(that is, if it’s even possible to be in love at age five). I’m in love with your craziness, your funny personality, your eyes, your hair, anything and everything about you! I want to be more than just “the guy next door”.I hope I know somewhere inside you, you feel the same.

-Nick

P.S. To Adam – Do you feel like a man when you push her around?