It just ain't living

Mikey awoke the next morning feeling out of it, the despair he was feeling was not tolerable, everything was eating at him, his thoughts wondered she cant die, I’ll die...what do I do...what do I say...why is this happening to me...

Mikey didnt know what to do he needed a release to let it out but how, how was he to cope. Anger was taking over, he was angry at God, the doctors, even Sienna’s own cancer, How could anyone make her suffer and that to him was what was going to happen. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.

But eventually it was going to happen and the worst thought of it all was that it was going to be sooner rather then later.

Getting up an walking out of his room, he crept down the stairs so that no one would hear him walking in to the bathroom he looked in the medical cabinet, he needed a release and he needed it now. Not thinking straight he didnt care what it was, just something that would make the pain disappear even if only for a short while.

Looking around Mikey found what looked like Valium, putting a few tablets in his hand he swallowed them, not caring what effect it would have just knowing that he would feel no pain even if for a short time.

Sienna was at her place happy and sad at the same time, her father had told her that he had booked 2nd opinions for her as he wasnt satisfied that there was no option to fight the cancer, Sienna just agreed though she knew it was going to hurt her father more then it would her when he was told the same thing over and over - that there was no chance for Sienna ‘she had heard the words before, the cancer isn’t curable’

Sienna had come to terms with her fate and was now willing to accept it, even if she had a short time on this earth she was going to make the most of it, to try new things and enjoy what short time she had left before she began a new journey.

Sienna also wanted to be able to tell her father about her impending nuptials, but she knew that he would want none of it, thinking that it would be a stupid idea when what Sienna should truly be concerned about was fighting for her life.

Sienna decided the place right now that she wanted to be was with Mikey, he seemed to her the only one that had come to terms with what was going on, though unbeknownst to her he was fighting his own demons trying to suppress them so that they wouldn’t show.

Mikey was starting to feel the effects of the Valium, he could feel that it was working as a relaxant and that the stress that he had built up was slowly disappearing which for once made him smile even if it was the drug that was truly making him feel this way.

What Mikey could also feel that he was starting to feel light headed he put that down to needing food, creeping gin to the kitchen he made himself some cereal where he ate it quietly, he knew that if anyone woke they would know what he had done, as they had seen it before in him when he had broken down.

Sienna texted Mikey’s cell baby Im on my way

Mikey replied straight away ok babes love u xxx

After a short time, Sienna arrived and saw that Mikey was already outside, he walked up to her car and got in
“Hey baby” Sienna replied cooly
“Hey...I don’t wanna be in the house...lets book a hotel where it’s just you an me in peace”
“Don’t be silly, I cant do that, my father will have a fit and we have no clothes anyway” Sienna said with a giggle
“I’m serious, we can just buy some or while I’m here you have stuff here ... we can bring that” Mikey said with a look of despair
Sienna didnt know what was up...”Ok then we will”

Mikey bolted back in to the house and as quickly as he could he grabbed his clothes and what there was of Sienna’s and packed it in to a suitcase, walking past the bathroom he saw the Valium in the cabinet, grabbing them he shoved them in his pocket, not knowing if he would need them.

“So where do you want to go?” Sienna asked
“In to the city...a five star hotel...I wanna treat the woman I love” Mikey replied kissing Sienna on the lips

Mikey knew what the side effects of the Valium would be and he didnt care he knew that he wouldn’t be violent with Sienna that had never crossed his mind, but he had once before been angry when he was going through an episode where he broke his toes due to a brickwall.

He would control his urges, he had a temper and he knew it, but if anything he idolised Sienna and wanted nothing more then to make her happy.

Arriving at the first hotel they found in the city, both walked in where they were advised that there were plush rooms available, getting his credit card out Mikey paid for the $5000 a night hotel
“Mikey are you crazy?”Sienna asked
“Don’t worry about it”
“I cant afford this”
“Baby it’s my treat to you” he said wrapping his arm around Sienna’s waist

As Sienna thought what had ever come over Mikey she was liking, he was so more confident and wanted to get what he wanted. Though she was still oblivious to the fact that this was the Valium speaking and not really how Mikey was.

Getting in to the room Sienna called her father and told him she would be home in time for her doctor’s appointments but that she would be away for a couple of days spending time with Mikey, She was surprised when her father said he understood and that it was fine.
Mikey on the other hand just text his brother and said he would be back in a couple of days as he was with Sienna.

How Mikey would be over the next few hours, only time would tell how his reactions would be.