I Won't See You Tonight

I couldn't sleep that night.

My mind was going everywhere and apparently had no intentions of letting me get my much needed rest.

The beach was fun, I loved hanging out with everyone, and I honesty felt like I belonged with them. But, I couldn't take my mind off of Jimmy.

Sure, after he and Tessa had their talk he went right back to overly-hyper-active Jimmy. But there was just something to him, something about him, that made it all look fake. I desperately wanted to help him. I couldn't bare the thought of one of my new friends living out on the streets. Druggies or not, they were still my friends.

The guys had said that they wanted to help him also, but none of their parents would allow it. They didn't want their own children to be influenced.I guess that was a little understandable, but for Pete's sake! Jimmy was going to be homeless! I wanted to do something to help him. The guys said that being on the streets might help Jimmy. He might realize how awful the world is out there, and clean up so he could go home. I could tell that this was purely wishful thinking. Being on the streets could do nothing but make Jimmy worse. He needed love and attention, people there for him that cared.

There was nothing I could do. My mother and I were still at my aunt's house. I couldn't ask her to let my male addict friend to stay with us. I just couldn't see that happening. I wasn't close enough to my aunt and uncle to be asking them such favors, when after all they had just taken in both me and my mother without complaint. There's only so much one house could handle, and this house contained my mother.

I sat up in bed and sighed, looking at my alarm clock. 4:19. There would be no point in sleeping now, even if I could, I would only get two hours of sleep max. I headed down stairs to make some coffee. As I passed the living room I could see my mother asleep on the couch. I walked over to check on her. She was cold, and pale.

"Mommy?" I found myself feeling like I was five again. I walked over to her still body and gently tried to shake her.

"Mommy? Mommy, wake up." I said as tears began to fall.

"Mommy don't leave me!" It was obvious as ever, my mother was dead. She had left me alone in the world.

My eyes shot open. I was sweating all over. I looked at my clock, it was the same exact time as it was in my dream. I shot out of bed and crept down the stairs and into the living room. My mother was laying in the same position. I felt my eyes start to water.

"Mom-" I stopped, she had turned over, clearly alive. I sighed with relief. I turned to head to the shower.

"Emelyne?" My mother's voice called out. I turned back around to see she had awoken.

"Hi Mom."'

"What are you doing awake, sweetie? What time is it?" She asked as she glanced around the room for a clock.

"Almost four-thirty. I just came down for a drink. Sorry that I woke you."

"It's fine, honey, but are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, of course I am."

"But Ems, you're pale, and you look like you've been sweating a lot, and your hair is a mess."

"I just had a very vivid dream."

"Was it another nightmare?" She asked in a soft voice.

"No." I lied.

"Okay, you going back to bed?"

"Probably not."

"Wanna talk for a bit?"

"Sure." I said nervously and sat down in front of the couch. My mom sat directly behind me and started to play with my hair. Memories came flooding down, from when I could very first remember. This was not an unusual occurrence between my mother and me. It's how we had all of our talks. She would sit and play with my hair, and we would just let it all out.
"What's going on at school? She asked casually.

"Not much really."

"Friends?"

"They're great." I smiled. Then I remembered Jimmy and all my worries about him. "Well, 'cept one. He's kind of in some trouble."

"What kind of trouble?"

"He's an addict. I don't know to what, I didn't ask. And I don't know for how long."

"Oh, well maybe an intervention of sorts would-"

"That's not all."

"Oh? Go on then."

"His parents are kicking him out. He doesn't have anywhere to go. All of the rest of our friends' parents won't let him stay with them, 'cause they don't want their kids influenced to drugs."

"I can see the problem." She said and I nodded.

"And you want to help." It was a statement, not a question. I nodded anyway.

"Ems, honey, that's how you've always been. I remember back-" And that's how we got completely off topic of Jimmy and my motherdragged me through took a very long walk down memory lane.

I was still in the shower on time, and was dressed and ready by time Zacky was at the door. I said my good-byes to my mom and headed out the door.

"Good morning." Zacky said as we started walking.

"Morning."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin, just didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"Oh..." What could someone respond to that with, well except...

"Why?" Damn.

"I just had a lot on my mind." I answered.

"Like what?"

"I'm worried about Jimmy." I said, truthfully.

"We all are." He said, his cheery vibe turning way down.

"I know. I just wish I could do something to help him."

"He can only help himself." Zacky shrugged.

"I guess..." I agreed, not really believing it.

We walked in silence for a while.

"So what's the deal with Gena?" I asked. I really wanted to know. Zacky stayed quiet. He looked thoughtful, but when he looked into my eyes, all I seen was pain.

"She was my first love."