I Won't See You Tonight

"She was my first love."

It felt like I had been hit with a ten pound bag of bricks.

All I could really say was, "Oh."

"Yeah. We broke up about a week or so ago." He said, no longer looking at me, but straight ahead.

"What happened?" I asked in a whisper. Today was just my nosy day, I guess.

"She cheated on me."

"How long had you been together?"

"One year, five months, and six days." He said, looking back at me again. His face was cold and blank.

"Had she been cheating on you the whole time?" Was there no filtering my thoughts today?

"I don't know." He whispered.

"I'm sorry. I'm being rude. We don't have to talk about her if you don't want to. I was just curious of why everyone was being so cautious around her last night."

"It's fine. Now it is, at least. I was a mess, before."

"I bet. That's a long time to be together and then for it to just end..."

"Yeah. I didn't want to believe it." He said with a sigh. "I still don't."

"I'm so sorry, Zack."

He didn't respond. He nodded his head and kept walking in silence, looking as if in deep thought.

"So, what made you guys want to start a band?" An obvious change in subject, but a change of subject no doubt.

Zacky looked over at me and smiled, grateful for the topic switch.

"I guess it was just the thing to do. But I'm glad we did."

"Yeah, sounds like it would be a lot of fun."

"It is," he agreed, "and it's gotten me closer to some of the guys that I really wasn't too close of friends with."

"That's cool, like who?"

"Jimmy, for sure. That guy used to scare the hell out of me. I thought he hated me."

"I can't imagine Jimmy being threatening at all. He's odd, most definitely, but not scary."

"Well, I wasn't that kind of scared of him. He was just so weird. He kinda has just now began normalizing out."

"There's no such thing as normal, Zachary."

He looked over at me with a quizzical look on his face.

"The guy used to wear kimonos every day. His hair was like ten foot tall, and he would walk around screaming at people. He was very strange."

"I could imagine Jimmy doing that." I said with a laugh. Jimmy was one of the funniest guys that I had ever met. I was really happy that I had become friends with him.

I felt happy, and care-free for the first time since...

"It was definitely a sight to see." Zacky said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Why won't you guys help Jimmy?" My non-filtering brain did not let me stop this from being said as soon as I thought it.

"Most of us can't. As much as our parents say that they like him and all, they don't want a druggie in their house, around their kids."

"But what if he was detoxing there? If he was getting off, getting better?"

"Then that might be a different story, but I don't think Jimmy really wants to."

"Have any of you even talked to him about it?" I just have this nagging feeling that their going to hate me after today. I just can't stop.

Zacky didn't answer me immediately. He just walked, in thought.

"I think Syn has."

"Syn?"

"Brian," Zacky said, as he looked at me with a smile. "Synyster Gates is Brian's stage name."

"Oh."

"I didn't tell you every-body's yet have I? And no one else has either?"

"Nope." I said, letting my mouth pop with the 'p'.

"Well," Zacky began, clearly happy to be off of the uncomfortable topic of our friend, "I already told you mine, Zacky Vengeance, Matt is M. Shadows, Brian is Synyster Gates, Jimmy is The Reverend Tholomew Plague (Rev for short), and Johnny is Johnny Christ."

"Wow, pretty interesting stage names. What's the name of the band?"

"We haven't come up with it yet. We're pretty much just now actually getting serious about it."

"Who plays what?"

"I play guitar. Johnny does bass, Jimmy is the drummer, Matt sings, and Brian is lead guitar."

"What kind of music do you play?" I could not stop my flow of questions.

"I don't really like titles but I guess it's sort of metal."

"Oh, that's cool." There wasn't much to say after that, so we walked the rest of the way in silence.

We met up with everybody at our usual spot. I found myself wishing Tessa were there, she would love to talk on and on with me. As I thought of Tessa I noticed her sibling was absent. This had me worried.

Had they kicked him out? Was he strung out, or just skipping school? I wanted answers. I wanted to help my new friend. But there was simply nothing I could do. I sighed and sat down on a bench next to Val.

"Hi Emelyne." She smiled at me. Her smile was stunning. She was possibly the most gorgeous woman I had ever met.

"Hey, Val." I found it strange that she wasn't attached to Matt. The couple was basically a two for one deal.

"You seem tired. Are you alright?" She asked with genuine concern in her eyes.

"I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night." I said, truthfully.

"Oh. Feeling delirious?"

"Not particularly. But I haven't been able to filter my thoughts today. I keep saying everything that I'm thinking. I can't stop it."

"That could turn out bad. Maybe you should just go home and rest?"

"Nah, I can handle it."

"Okay. But since you are a senior you can check yourself out of school if you need to."

"I'll be fine."

"Aright," She said cautiously, "So did you have fun last night?"

"Yeah, I loved it. I really like hanging out with you guys."

"Good. We like having you around too." She said, a warm smile on her lips.

The bell rang and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I hadn't noticed myself start to drift off. Val was already up and walking with hand-in-hand with Matt. They were already halfway to the school building.

"Are you comin' Emelyne?" Zacky asked suddenly, from beside me.

"Yeah..."

"Maybe you should just go home and get some rest?" He suggested.

And that's when it happened. I don't know if it was the fact that I had already been told that once, or if it was simply my snapping point.

I started laughing uncontrollably. I couldn't stop.

Zacky looked at me like I had gone insane, and that only made me laugh all the more.