I Won't See You Tonight

When you're counting down till you get to go home from school, time seems to go so much slower. Especially when you're fighting sleep.

I sighed, and sank into my desk.

It was only third hour. I was sitting next to Matt in physics. The teacher was one of the few that never notices what you are doing. An elephant could enter the room and he wouldn't notice, he would simply keep on teaching.

"Why are you so tired today?" Matt asked, pulling me out of my own world.

"I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"Yeah, you said that before, but why?"

"Well aren't you just a mister nosy pants." I said causing Matt to give a little laugh.

"Seriously, what's up Em?" He had that same concerned look in his eyes that Val had.

Oh, shoot. How could I not tell him when he looks like he cares, looks like I could really confide in him?

"I had a nightmare." I said and turned my gaze to the floor.

Nightmares usually aren't usually big deals. Usually only kids really fret about bad dreams. But here I am, freaking out. On the inside at least.

If everybody knew what had happened back home, I don't know what they would do, what they would say. I didn't really want to find out.

"What was it about?" I didn't have to look into his eyes to see it, I could here the concern in his voice.

"Nothin really. I don't wanna talk about it." I said and met his gaze dead-on.

"Okay, that's fine. But if you want to talk about it later, I'm here for ya."

"Thanks, Matt." I said, and he turned to the teacher. Guess he didn't have anything else to say, since I wasn't spilling the beans.

"So, where's Jimmy today?" I asked.

Matt's features went slightly grim. His shoulders slumped, his eyes went down to his hands, which were resting in his lap. The smile that seemed to be permanent on his face vanished.

"I have no idea." He mumbled.

"Matt, why don't any of you do anything about this? You are his friends."

"He doesn't want any of us to do anything. He won't stop."

"Have any of you really talked to him about it? Maybe he does want to stop, and he just can't." I asked, becoming more alert with the seriousness of the situation.

Matt shook his head. "You could ask Brian. He's the closest one to him. He's known the guy since like second grade or somethin'."

I nodded. This was definitely something I was going to get to the bottom of. It was sort of a persona vendetta for me. I didn't want Jimmy to go down the terrible roads of a junkie.

"Matt, what all is he on?" I pushed, getting only a shrug in response.

I'd definitely talk to Brian sooner rather than later. I was going to help Jimmy one way or another.

"So, what got you to like singing?" I asked, causing Matt to look back up at me with a small smile.

It's becoming a bit of a habit to use the band as an alternative topic for a slightly uncomfortable conversation. The band was a happy topic for everyone. It was something they all loved, believed in, and could talk about nonstop.

I didn't listen to Matt. I felt bad for it, but I kind of just spaced out. Before I knew it, the bell rang and it was time for fourth hour.

I smiled to myself, that was one of the classes I had with Zacky. But that smile soon faded, it was another class that Jimmy was in with me, another class he would be absent from.

I tried to concentrate on better, happier things. I would be in class with Zacky. That would be a plus. He was still slightly depressed over Gena, that was a negative.

I sighed and walked with Matt to our lockers. I threw my physics book in and grabbed the huge pre-calculus textbook. I slowly made my way to class, too much in a daze to really notice anything.

I took the empty desk next to Zacky, who was already there, and glanced at the other empty desk next to him. I put my head in my hands and felt myself start to drift.

Then I felt a hand rubbing my back. I turned my head to my right, noticing Zacky had that same concerned look.

Why was everyone so concerned for me? Did I look that pathetic?

"You okay, Emelyne?" He asked, his voice soft and calm.

"Yeah, still pretty tired. I can't wait to get out of here."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." He said as he finally stopped rubbing my back and propped his own head up, still looking at me.

"But why are you so tired today?" Was everyone going to ask me the same freaking questions over and over again?

"I don't know, I just couldn't really sleep last night." I said, avoiding his eyes. I knew that if I looked at him, I would want to tell him the truth, like before.

"Yeah, I get nights like that too. Just gotta perk you up somehow."

"Yeah.." I agreed. Energy would be nice. Especially if it was Jimmy-like energy.

That made me wonder. Was his fun-loving hyper-active personality due to the drugs? Or was he like this before?

I shook my head. No, he had to be like this usually. I couldn't imagine him any other way. It was just Jimmy.

"I have an idea." Zacky said with a smirk.

"What?"

"Let's skip." He said as he stood up and began walking out.

"Do what?" I asked as I grabbed my books and headed out with him. The late bell had yet to ring, and the teacher wasn't in the room.

"You heard me." he said as he continued down the hallway. We stopped by our lockers and put our books away just as the bell rang.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. Now calm down, Emelyne. We do this all the time."

"Okay..." I said, still skeptical. I had never really done anything that would remotely be considered bad.

"Do you wanna get the others?"

"I have no say in any of this."

"Alright," he laughed, "I guess it's best to just get out of here. That leaves it to just being you and me. Are you okay with that?"

"Uh, yeah.." I said, I couldn't stop the color from filling my cheeks, so I simply looked away.

A day with just me and Zacky?! The smile that spread across my face disappeared almost the next instant when I remembered our conversation from earlier.

He wasn't over Gena. I didn't know if he liked me, and now was awful timing, for several reasons.

"Maybe we could find Jimmy. See what he's up to." I suggested.

Zacky gave me a long, hard look and then simply inclined his head. He started walking and I followed. As soon as we were out of the building I got paranoid.

It could be because of my lack of sleep, or maybe it was because we we're on our way to find our friend, who might be completely strung out. Who knows who would come looking for us. We would lead them straight to Jimmy. There was no telling what kind of condition he was in, what he had on him, who he was with... I didn't have a single clue.

But who would look for us? I mean, I'm sure my mom would be ticked if she found out. But that's if she even noticed. And lately she has been rather preoccupied. I don't know where I fit into her life anymore. I know I did, somewhere. She just was very distracted.

I hadn't the slightest clue how Zacky's parents were. I didn't even know the relationship he had with them. I knew next to nothing when it came to his family. I know he has a brother and a sister from some of the stories he's told me, but that was the extent of my knowledge.

The school had so many students that they wouldn't notice. The teachers would mark down absent, and we would have the small chance of getting detentions for it. A very minor threat in my book. But they wouldn't send somebody to find us.

Our friends would be curious, but Zacky said that they do it all the time. Surely they would figure that Zacky had decided to get me to ditch for the first time? Or they could think that Zacky was ditching and I went home to my wonderfully comfy bed.

No one. That was my answer. No one would come looking for Zacky and me. We were perfectly fine finding Jimmy, no matter what was wrong with him.

"So, what's with your obsession with Jimmy?" He asked when we were about two blocks from the school.

Where the hell did that come from? "I...it's a long story. I'm not obsessed with him, Zacky."

"It sure seems like it." He snapped.

"What's it matter anyway?"

"It...it doesn't." He huffed and began walking a bit faster. I sped up my pace to meet his.

"You sure about that, Zack?" I snapped back.

"Yes, I'm sure about that, Emelyne." His tone sounded final, like he was ending the conversation, getting the last word.

If he thought that was just gonna be the end of it, he sure didn't know me that well.

"You sure as hell aren't acting like it's not a problem. Why does it matter to you?" I said as I stopped walking and grabbed his arm, spinning him to face me.

His brilliant green eyes look startled, a bit confused, and conflicted.

"Because I like you." He blurted out.

"Well too damn bad I'm no rebound." I said. I turned and headed back to school, leaving a very startled and confused Zacky behind.

I heard him call out to me once, but I didn't pay attention. I was too caught up in my own head, like I had been for the most of the day.

I wasn't sure what had just happened.

Hadn't I been wishing that Zacky would like me? Hadn't I daydreamed that we'd get together?

Why was I so angry and frustrated now?

I sighed, there was no use questioning things that I couldn't get answers to.

I turned and started walking away from the school, but in a different direction from the one that I left Zacky at. I needed to clear my head. Going back to school was not an option.

I walked a few blocks, going in random directions, just taking everything in. I tried staying out of my head.

I somehow managed to get on to Pacific Coast Highway. That's when I seen a familiar car.

It was the car that had driven me and Tessa back to my house.

Jimmy