I Won't See You Tonight

"I can help." I said finally as I took in the man that stood before me.

"No, you can't. No one can. I'm a lost cause, don't even try." He said as he looked around the empty laundromat.

I shook my head, "I know exactly what you are going through, Jimmy."

He looked taken aback. "What? There's no way. You...you're so innocent. You don't have a damn clue what I'm going through." He started to get angry.

"My brother," I said quickly, "I helped him. I know exactly what to do if you will let me help you."

"It's not the same."

"How so?"

"You don't care about me the same way you do your brother. You would just give up on me because I'm nothing but a piece of shit. I will never amount to anything. I am of no use to this world. There's no point in getting better."

"Jimmy, that's shit and you know it. Is that what your parents told you? Is that what they said before they kicked you out? You have to know there's no truth in that. You are a wonderful person."

"Now that's bullshit. You don't even know me, Emelyne."

"No, I don't." I admitted,"Not yet. But I do want to. The way your friends are so loyal to you, the way they look at you, I know that there is some good in you. You have to believe that."

"My friends..."

"Yeah, Matt, Zack..., Brian, Cam? Everyone."

"There too good to me. I don't deserve them. They're better off without me." He said, tears starting to form in his eyes. Then he looked me dead in the eye, "and so are you."

"And that's where you're wrong." I said, returning his stare. "Let me help you."

"How? What could you possibly do to save me?"

"Get sober. I can help you get better."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because you don't deserve this. You're a good person. Your friends love you and they want you back, I can tell. I really think you should do it, for them."

"They don't want me anymore."

"Yes they do, Jimmy." I said, and risked putting my hand on top of his. He stared down at it and looked back at me. "Come with me, and we'll get you better."

He didn't say a word, only nodded. We headed out to his car and drove to my house.

I hoped my aunt wouldn't mind. It was kind of an act of impulse to go ahead and offer him help without even considering getting my aunt's consent. I wan't sure what I would do. I just wanted to help him. The first thing I had to do was to get him out of that filthy laundromat. I just wasn't sure how long I could keep him at my aunt's.

I considered hiding him. That thought only lasted a moment. Hiding a recovering druggie from other people in the house was next to impossible. But I didn't know what else to, he had to get better. He needed a clean place to stay. I didn't know what my aunt would say to letting him stay with us, and I didn't know how much the others would help.

I would have to take it one step at a time then. One day at a time. That was all I could do.

We arrived to an empty house. There was a note on the bed from my mom. The three of them had went job hunting and grocery shopping. She didn't include a time that she would be home. I crumbled up the note and threw it in the trash can that was under my bedside table.

Jimmy sat on my bed and looked around.

"Your room is so plain."

"I just moved here, remember?" I said with a small smile.

"But the rest of the house seemed so unpacked." Was he really trying at small talk? I almost laughed. But I refrained, given the circumstances.

"This is my aunt's house. My mom and I are staying with her until we can get a place of our own."

"Oh, will she mind my being here?"

"I'm not sure."

"Emelyne, I don't want to cause you any trouble." He said as he shot off of my bed.

"It's fine. I'm just not sure how long I can convince her to let you stay here. It'll be easier once we move out."

"How?"

"My mom won't mind you staying. Well, she probably wouldn't notice. She's kind of lost in her own world right now."

"Oh. So when are you guys moving?"

"I'm not sure. My mom has to get a job, and we have to find a house. It might be a few months."

"What are we going to do until then?" He asked. Part of me was grinning. He was definitely on board with getting sober. The other part of me was torn by his question. What were we going to do?

"I don't know. I still have to talk things over with my aunt. Do you have somewhere safe you can go?"

"The laundromat."

"Jimmy..that place was gross. You can't stay there."

"I don't want to put anybody out. I don't want to mooch off anybody. Besides I doubt anybody's parents would allow it."

"But the laundromat-"

"Is good enough for me. I work there. It would be easy." He cut in.

"It's dangerous! People break in. Bad things could happen!" I said, shaking my head.

"Emelyne, I can't be here all the time. I don't want to cause you any trouble. I can't go anywhere else." He said, annunciating every word of the last sentence.

"Only if it comes down to it. But only as a last choice." I said. Jimmy nodded his head and continued to scan the room some more.

"Jimmy, what all are you on?" I asked, wanting to get the question out of the way.

That was when the front door open and I heard my mother's voice calling my name.

"Emelyne, who's here?" She yelled up. I walked downstairs after telling Jimmy to stay put.

"Hi, mom." I greeted her.

"Who's here?"

"We have to talk. Aunt Pat and Uncle Jerry too."

"Okay.." She said, suspicion and curiosity filling her voice.

I followed her to the kitchen, where my aunt and uncle were putting away groceries.

"Emelyne apparently has to speak with us." My mother announced. Aunt Pat and Uncle Jerry looked back and forth between us cautiously before joining us at the table.

"Mom, I told you about my friend right? The one with the addiction?"

"Yes." She answered, nervously.

"Well, he's here. I'm helping him detox." Might as well go ahead and put it all out there,no point in beating around the bush.

The three adults looked at each other, not knowing what to say. My mother's sister and her husband looked a bit surprised.

"I understand that I should have asked first. It was very rude of me, but I have to help him. He was kicked out of his house. He doesn't have anywhere to go. He needs help."

"Then why not go to rehab?" Uncle Jerry spoke up.

"I don't think being surrounded by strangers would be very good for him. If we send him off he will just view it as us trying to get rid of him and will give up. He won't care if he doesn't believe that we don't."

"I don't know about this Emelyne. You haven't been here long. How well can you know this kid? You don't know for a fact that you can trust him in your own home. Especially since he is a druggie."

"Please do not judge him like that. Jimmy is-"

"How the hell else am I supposed to see it? He's a teenage addict. That's just a fact." Uncle Jerry said, bluntly cutting me off.

"I know, but he is also a person. He has emotions, thoughts, feelings, talents. Being addicted to drugs is not the only detail about him." I retorted. This left my uncle speechless.

They didn't have to ask how I knew what to do with him, how to help him. They all knew about
Adam and his struggles. They knew how I had taken care of him. That is, until he gave up. He lost all self control and took off. I hadn't heard from him since then.

"Please let me help him."

"How long?" Aunt Pat finally spoke.

"There's no telling..."I said with a frown. That was one huge downside to this. It was different with each person. Different with each type of addiction.

"A month. That's all he's got here. That's all we can give." Aunt Pat said while watching her husband's reaction. He simply nodded in agreement.

"He's your responsibility."

"He's not a dog." I growled as I got up. I thanked them and headed upstairs to tell Jimmy the good news. I just hoped a month was long enough.

I found Jimmy passed out on my bed.

At that moment he looked so peaceful. It was odd, that was the opposite of the Jimmy that I had begun to know. He was always hyper-active, and such a fun person to be around. It was one of the main reasons I wanted to help him. I wanted to be around the fun person that I knew he was, I wantedhis our friends to get their friend back.

But mostly, I wanted to do it because he reminded me of Adam.

'Oh, Adam, where are you?' It was a question I often asked, a question I couldn't get an answer to. I love my older brother, he was my best friend growing up. I had to watch as he made one bad choice after another. I tried to help him, but I was so young. I wasn't sure what to do back then. It was easy for him to leave, to just run away.

As I watched Jimmy, I couldn't help but to think of Adam. I wanted to do so much better this go-round. I wanted to see Jimmy's success. I wanted to know a sober Jimmy, to have good memories. When I looked back at my time with my brother, the bad memories are way to prominent. All I can think of is how he ran away.

I had to see this through to the end. I had to prove I could. Then I could find Adam, and finally get my brother back.