These Lives Of Ours.

“Knock, knock. Can I come in?” I looked up at the door and smiled when I saw Ryan walking in with his guitar. “I’m here to help ease the pain of packing.” He bowed and sat down on my bed, it was one of the only things not packed already. The trucks were coming in a couple of hours and I had to get all the last minute things put away in boxes.

“Need any help?” I look around and the multiple things that still needed to be boxed. “Actually yeah, I’d like some help.” He smiled and got down on his hands and knees and started sorting through my stuff with me. It was silent for quite some times, neither of us knowing what to say. I had asked mom, turns out we were leaving with the trucks. Today was the last time I was going to see Ryan for a long time.

“Hey guys.” Brendon stumbled into the room, tripping over boxes left and right. “Hey Bren.” My voice was dripping with hatred, not that he deserved it, but it wasn’t fair that I had to leave and he didn’t. “Ouch Chip.” “Yeah…you don’t need to be mean to him.” My mouth hung open and I stared at Ryan. How could he NOT understand my frustration over this? “I know I know, your upset, but seriously. It’s not Brendon’s fault.” I scowled and started tapping up boxes. Ryan reached for some more stuff but I swatted his hand away. “I can do it.” I snarled, glaring at the both of them. I think I got my point across cuz they both kind of backed out of the room cautiously, leaving me in a pill of misery.

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I walked downstairs with Brendon. All his stuff was being moved with the family. He was only staying with Pete and I until the record was done. Then he was moving back with his parents. It sucked but at least he’d still be a part of the band.

I guess I understand why Chip is upset over this but why does she have to be so angry with Brendon? It’s not his fault. He didn’t ASK for Chip to be taken away from Pete. It wasn’t his fault and it certainly wasn’t mine. I guess I just wish she wasn’t so upset. Good-byes were going to be hard.

“Bren, honey, take this box out to the truck. Thanks.” Mrs. Urie handed us each a pretty heavy box so we had no choice but to take them to the giant moving truck that was parked outside. It was almost completely full. I think the only room that wasn’t emptied or almost emptied was Chip’s room and Andie’s room. And that’s because they didn’t have as much time to pack.

“Where’s Chip?” Mrs.Urie asked when we came back in. She was scurrying around trying her best to get everything done. “Up in her room, finishing the packing.” I sighed and stared up the stairs. I wish this wasn’t so hard.

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The truck was loaded and Andie, Mrs. Urie, and Mr. Urie were already in the car, getting things set and getting ready to go. Chip and I were standing in her now empty room. A light fall breeze was coming in through the open window and the two of us stood in silence, looking at the floor and both wishing the other would just say something already.

“I’m gonna miss you Ryan.” Her voice cam out in a whisper and I could tell she was already crying. I wrapped my arms around her and just held her, wishing I could take away all the pain and suffering she’s ever had to go through. “I’m gonna miss you too Chip.” I whispered the words in her ear, whishing I didn’t have to say them.

By now the tears were falling from my eyes too and we just stood in the middle of the empty room, in each others arms, and saying nothing at all. There was nothing that needed to be or could be said. This was happening and nothing was changing.

“COME ON CHIP!” Her dad called through the window and she pulled away from me. “I uhm…I gotta go.” She sniffed laughing a little. “Yeah I can hear that.” I cracked a smile and walked with her down to the door.

I tilted up her chin and looked her straight in the eyes. Those beautiful eyes that make my heart melt. “I love you, remember that.” “I love you too.” I pressed my lips softly against hers and gave her one more hug, before she walked away and got into the car.

I couldn’t stand to watch her leave. I just started sobbing on Brendon’s shoulder. “Come on Ryan. She’ll come back I promise.” I nodded…kind of, but kept on crying. I didn’t care if she was going to be back tomorrow. It still hurt.

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“I’m gonna miss you Ryan.” I whispered, letting the tears fall from my eyes as Ryan wrapped his arms around me. I just hugged him and sober on his shoulder. I never wanted to let go; I never wanted to leave him. “I’m gonna miss you too Chip.” He whispered it right into my ear, making me shiver a little.

By now Ryan was crying too and it killed me to see him like this. Whenever I think of Ryan I think of him as a pretty tough guy, considering what he’s been through. Seeing him cry is death.

“COME ON CHIP!” Dad called through the window and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I was so wrapped up in the moment. “I uhm…gotta go.” I stuttered, laughing a little. “Yeah I can see that.” Ryan smiled and walked me down to the door.

I stopped and Ryan lifted up my chin, forcing me to look right into his gorgeous eyes. “I love you, never forget that.” I smiled through the tears and nodded. “I love you too.” He pressed his lips softly against mine and I gave him one more hug before walking out to the car where everyone was waiting.

I turned around in my seat as we pulled away. I started to cry again as I saw Ryan sobbing on Brendon’s shoulder. That sight broke my heart