Sequel: What It Takes ›
That Four Letter Word
The End of the World
There's nothing left for me here. And yet everyday the sun comes up and forces me to face that mirror. Every morning I have to wake up like there is a reason to continue the same lies; put make-up on a tear-struck face; dress a body already underground; and smile through the heart pounding pain of my cracked lips. And yet, something has kept me going this past year.
I opened my eyes to the white ceiling above my bed. Suddenly my throat was on fire and I couldn't swallow. Remembering the repulsive dinner from last night made my weak stomach churn with agonizing regret. If I had known that my life would be over just a couple hours later I wouldn't have eaten.
My legs pushed my all the way to the bathroom, but pain engulfed my entire body as if sweat was actually stinging my skin, melting me. The bathroom door slammed open and I knelt uncomfortably over the toilet while releasing everything in my burning throat. Last night's dinner flushed down the bowl and I tried to get up.
Everything ached. I didn't remember exercising yesterday, except walking to Dillon's house. Slowly, I breathed in and out while stepping on the white scale by the shower. My insides were shaking with curiosity.
I closed my eyes and then looked at the screen on the scale. Last time it read 98 pounds, perfectly below the deathly 3-digit number.
101.5 pounds. BMI: 15.9.
Suddenly the room went spinning in all the wrong directions and I couldn't see anything except that long, big number. Everything had was gone, and I ruined it all. My life was empty, as empty as that bottle of aspirin was about to be.
It was a pain killer, right? The perfect medication for an awful nightmare. A life-long headache, gone.
I opened the white bottle and held a pill in my palm. This one's for Jordan, who I never got to say goodbye to. I popped it in my mouth and grabbed the bottle again. This one's for my parents. I put two in my palm. It's for every time they weren't there. The pills went down smoothly. Another two pills for Jennifer and Derington because they would never understand.
Five down, and my mind itched for more, but my throat felt dry.
I popped another two for Jasper and David, silently apologizing for my mistake.
Seven down.
Next, was one for Dillon. He deserved three. One for the past, one for the present, and one for the dead future.
Ten, and my throat was closing up on me, something inside my stomach itching to get out. I swallowed once and grabbed the bottle in my shaking hand.
The rest, for me.
I opened my eyes to the white ceiling above my bed. Suddenly my throat was on fire and I couldn't swallow. Remembering the repulsive dinner from last night made my weak stomach churn with agonizing regret. If I had known that my life would be over just a couple hours later I wouldn't have eaten.
My legs pushed my all the way to the bathroom, but pain engulfed my entire body as if sweat was actually stinging my skin, melting me. The bathroom door slammed open and I knelt uncomfortably over the toilet while releasing everything in my burning throat. Last night's dinner flushed down the bowl and I tried to get up.
Everything ached. I didn't remember exercising yesterday, except walking to Dillon's house. Slowly, I breathed in and out while stepping on the white scale by the shower. My insides were shaking with curiosity.
I closed my eyes and then looked at the screen on the scale. Last time it read 98 pounds, perfectly below the deathly 3-digit number.
101.5 pounds. BMI: 15.9.
Suddenly the room went spinning in all the wrong directions and I couldn't see anything except that long, big number. Everything had was gone, and I ruined it all. My life was empty, as empty as that bottle of aspirin was about to be.
It was a pain killer, right? The perfect medication for an awful nightmare. A life-long headache, gone.
I opened the white bottle and held a pill in my palm. This one's for Jordan, who I never got to say goodbye to. I popped it in my mouth and grabbed the bottle again. This one's for my parents. I put two in my palm. It's for every time they weren't there. The pills went down smoothly. Another two pills for Jennifer and Derington because they would never understand.
Five down, and my mind itched for more, but my throat felt dry.
I popped another two for Jasper and David, silently apologizing for my mistake.
Seven down.
Next, was one for Dillon. He deserved three. One for the past, one for the present, and one for the dead future.
Ten, and my throat was closing up on me, something inside my stomach itching to get out. I swallowed once and grabbed the bottle in my shaking hand.
The rest, for me.
♠ ♠ ♠
And that is the end.I'm going to edit it some more, but basically this is the last chapter.