Worth The Wait

Maybe this is what I needed, time for us to be alone for sure, so I can tell her that I wasn’t ready for a relationship or well at least I don’t feel like I am. Just thinking about, it sounded like an easy plan to pull off, but when I looked down on her face it was hard with her smiling and waving bye to my mom.

Speaking about my mom, I thought to myself almost as if I could’ve said it out of nowhere, “What the hell was she thinking leaving me and her alone together?”

“Hey Jaimee, do you think we can tal…” I was about to finish it up, but as I looked down towards her, her attention was drawn to something else in the house that made her seem reluctant to do anything at all.

“What is that?” Jaimee said as she walked towards one of the shelves that haven’t been dusted for as long as I could remember. As she got there she put her hands on a doll that looked like it could’ve been from a thousand years ago that survived a stampede of bulls, tattered and battered. “Where did you get this, I know for sure that this is the only one of it’s kind in the world.”

I was hesitant to answer her question for it was something I had when I was 5 years old. I knew that for sure.

Suddenly I found myself the same place I was 10 years ago at Backhaus, Concen, when I first felt real sympathy and pity in my life and at such an early age. There I was with my mom a dusty fog in the background, it was that day we went out to find dad… The day we found him saving a girl and her family. He had to be a hero and fight for some other country. He saved the family pushing them into a helicopter and that whining girl crying for her doll as it dropped. My dad he picked it up and promised her that he’d return it. Then bullets came upon us and I watched as mom and I moved back into protection and dad making sure to protect us on our way back. His war cry right behind us as more gunshots were fired. I was crying, I felt the same way I did 10 years ago as I do now about this moment. As we entered back into the door with dad following right after us, he hugged me tight and told me to be a strong boy for mom, his words were as clear as the day he told me, “Please Gerard, you have a such a nice future for yourself and I know you’re going to make an ideal model for me, take care of your mother and your baby brother.” Yeah, I remembered mom was still pregnant. He let me go and went to mom and hugged and had their moment while I stayed at the same place sniffling. He came back to me with the same doll he got from the girl and said, “Gerard, do your old man a favor and keep his promise and return this whenever you get the chance.” I didn’t exactly know how, but I did anything for him at the moment and we pinky swore. As he let go to leave I begged him not to. He came back with his phone and took a picture and gave mom the memory card. I guess I was too young to understand. He ran through the door and we waited until it got messy and an armor car was there to get us to a new place to live.

“Gerard, are you going to answer me lazy butt?” Jaimee said giggling.
“Oh, haha, I remember.” I said, but while I finished that sentence her face was still and sort of serious. “I got it ten years ago when I was 5, my dad made this promise that I have to keep. I guess that’s why that’s still there.” I added without trying to draw attention.

“Your dad? Oh is he coming home sometime soon? I’m just curious.” She asked sounding absolutely ‘curious’.

“Well, I’ve been hoping he’d coming home ever since, I guess it doesn’t hurt to hope for it.” I smiled or well at least I tried. “Well, I sort of don’t want to talk about it.” I added with a face that greatly suppressed the actual emotions that ran through me.

“Oh, I lost my dad, too if that’s what you mean though, at Backhaus, he died as a gunner, but this other guy stayed and protected us. I lost a doll like this and well it was actually special because it was something my dad made for me with his clumsy hands. I dropped it while I was flying away on the helicopter.” Jaimee said.

It was shocking, how this could be the girl, that whining brat about her doll. Maybe that’s the reason why it meant so much to her. I didn’t know what to think, if I’d be mad that it was her fault dad never came back or why he even stayed and fought. “Oh, well you can have it.” I said smiling. It’s probably collecting dust here.

Jaime jumped with anxiety as I took it off the shelf and cleaned it out. I knew for sure it was her, but did she know it was me? I wanted to ask, but I didn’t know how to ask, how would’ve she known about this anymore than I would. Looking down at the doll, I wanted to keep my promise to dad; it’s been something that’s been on my mind a lot, like how I was to find this girl. Then Jaimee moves in and it could be her, but if its not then dad would be disappointed. “Jaimee, can I give you this tomorrow?” I asked her with a strong feeling.

Her joyful feeling died and she responded, “Oh…sure it is yours. I can wait.” She smiled and went up to the rooms then a thump more likely her laying down. I was still there looking down at the doll placing it back and going up to be with Jaimee. I heard crying or small sniffles here and there.

“I’m sorry, I just thought that was my doll from my daddy, I miss him, I can’t believe I’m letting this get to me still. I was hoping that that man was going to keep his promise to me and return it. So stupid how I actually believe some wanna-be soldier.” Jaimee said.

“Then you’re probably the brat crying for her doll. You probably didn’t notice me, but it was my dad, he was a soldier, just not for your place. I had to watch him fight for his life and I also wasn’t happy he had to leave me with mom without a clue. Just get your doll and please, please, please, don’t say that about my dad. I miss him, we were just on vacation and this terrorist attack came out and took away a great deal in my life.” I said sadly. I start pressing my two pointers together at the tips and turned around. “I’ll go get your doll, I guess I am keeping my promise.” I added a bit proud.