Worth The Wait

I wish I didn’t do what I did, but it just happened. All I could think about was how bad she must’ve felt, standing there watching me leave. She was new to the place and even more new to the whole school. No one would really walk with her.

I wanted to ask my father to turn the car around or get her or something. It took me a lot of courage and a lot of thinking and it came out “Hey pops, can we…” my sentence got cut off when my father started talking about other stuff.

He kept going on till we reached out house. Before he even turned off the car, I went out and I slammed the door sort of hard. Usually mother is at the door waiting for me and she was. I just walked right passed her. I headed straight for my room, which was completely successful with no bothers. I took out my shirt and used my inside shirt and lied down on my bed when I hear knocking.

“Gerard, there’s food outside in the kitchen if you’re hungry, your father and I are going out.” She said and the knocking ceased.

I thought for a while about how stupid I acted. The guilt was eating me up. Every second I thought about it was another second of me hating myself for what I did. I felt like I couldn’t forgive myself. I felt like punching my stomachs until my insides came out.

After an hour or two I headed down to the kitchen to eat. On the table was KFC stuff, as I reached in to the box to grab a chicken wing. I looked around if we had gravy, but it was nowhere to be found. So, I turned towards to the refrigerator to see if we had gravy and on the refrigerator door was a paper with the words “The Spence’s” It had a number right below the name. I knew it was Jaimee’s house. I slowly grabbed it from the magnet that kept it on the door. I turned and grabbed my food and headed to my room again.

As I sat there on my bed, I just kept staring at the paper with the number. I wanted to call and apologize. I decided to finish my food, before I lost my appetite from thinking. After I finished I left my plate on the desk right next to my bed and grabbed the phone.

I couldn’t handle the guilt so I had to call, it took me quite a while before I cam over the fear of calling her. When it started ringing I feared that I might choke on my own words. Two to three rings passed by and I was about to hang it up until I heard someone pick up and say hello.

“Hello, uh… can I speak to Jaimee?” I said nervously. I could tell it was her mother, because of the way she said “One moment.” I counted the seconds that passed by and when it hit 15 the mother picked up and said, “May I know who is calling?” It took me a while to answer. Then I said “Its Gerard, the son of the neighbors who welcomed you guys.”

“Oh, hello, let me go get her on the phone.” She said sounding friendlier. Before she could put down the phone I immediately said “Can you not mention my name?” I know it might’ve sound weird to any other parent, but she replied with a simple “Sure.”

It took awhile before she came to the phone and then I sudden hello came out of the phone. I was scared to respond. I feared she might say something bad or hang up. I finally answered and said “Hello.” I knew she wouldn’t really want to say anything.

After a while, I heard “Gerard, is that you?” then I responded with a yes. Suddenly she said in a sort of rough voice, “Why are you calling me, aren’t you busy?” I knew she was mad. I couldn’t say anything and instead she continued, “You know how stupid I felt as I looked at you go away. Especially how you noticed me, and yet you still left. You know I’m new to the place and new in school. How can you even think of doing that? Suddenly you call expecting me to forgive you. Well, I won’t.”

I took a deep impact on me, how I really made her mad. “I’m sorry, I know that doesn’t cut it and I guess I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just want to say I really am sorry.” I said in a solemn voice. Before anything else I said a really fast goodbye and hung up.

I called Daniel and told him how I wasn’t going to make it to school tomorrow. I told him to come over and walk Jaimee to school. He agreed and he asked me about what happened and I told him. He completely understood and we dropped the conversation.

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I can't change her mind.” I said out loud before I was going to sleep.