Worth The Wait
That's why I hate myself sometimes.
I recently just woke up from a nice long sleep, but I guess it wasn’t long enough, seemingly how I usually wake up 30 minutes before school starts and it’s 2 hours before school. I wonder why today I woke up early, suddenly an upswing came up, and I actually remembered what I had to do today. Gerard’s orders: go and get Jaimee.
I needed to force myself to get ready. So, unwillingly I got in the shower and finished up whatever business I had to do. I felt like I had to be rushed, it’s not going to be so fun to walk 10 blocks down to get some one I don’t know.
“…Someone I don’t know…” I realized that I did a very stupid thing to agree to get someone I really don’t know. What was I suppose to do, what am I suppose to say? I can’t just walk up to her and drag her with me.
I started walking the first few blocks when it really did occur to me that I had no natural plan what so ever.
I came to an abrupt stop and gave my plan a little more thought. All I came up with was to stop by Gerard’s house. I guess I could settle for the idea.
Moments passed by and I see that I’m a few houses away from Gerard’s house. I felt relaxed knowing I was only a few passing moments until I could ask Gerard for help.
I finally got there. It seemed like no one was home cause everything was off and it was quiet. I used to remember all the noise and commotion with Gerard and Ryan fighting for things.
“GERARD! HEY GERARD.” I yelled out for several minutes. I started giving up then I hear a soft voice behind me.
“Excuse me, are you looking for Gerard? Is he there?” A girl said.
I really didn’t know who it was, I turn and I find a girl, so I assumed it was Jaimee.
“So, your this Jaimee girl?” It came out sort of rude though, I didn’t want to say anything else. It might come out wrong. Of course I had that face where I was unsure about what I just said.
“It’s okay, I know what you mean and yes, I am Jaimee.” She replied to me perfectly fine of my mistake. “Are you a friend of Gerard?” she continued.
“Actually, I’m the best friend. Ever since I could remember.” I said in a funny way. “By the way, I’m Daniel. Gerard told me to come and get you, cause he won’t make it to school.” I said slowing down with each word said.
“Gerard…” I heard her say as if she was sad or guilty. I couldn’t really make it out. I was going to ask her if everything was fine, but she seemed to ask me more things.
“Is he doing okay?” she said and before I got to answer or give it more than 20 seconds to think about she says “Never mind, can you walk with me to school?” I couldn’t really say no of course, so I nodded my head in a considerable yes.
Every moment of silence while we were walking felt awkward. It’s like she was sad and It kind of ate me up. I had to do or say some thing. “You know, Gerard’s not a bad kid.” I said to break the vibe around us.
“He told you what happened?” She said.
“Yeah… He seemed pretty bummed out about it. He couldn’t show his face around you, I guess that’s why he didn’t want to go school today.” I said.
After I told her that she suddenly stopped. “You don’t know how I felt, I trusted him. It’s not easy for me to trust someone I hardly know. Yeah, I probably seem like I’m lying to you, cause I’m pouring my heart out to you, but I feel like it’s another way and the only to tell him things now. I feel different around him, like I’m scared, scared of saying things to him. He’s just a good different and I thought I could trust him.” She said with her face down.
It seemed like she kept getting off track and saying other stuff. I didn’t really know what to say but I tried, “Gerard really isn’t a bad kid. He’s actually been through a lot. Yeah, sure he has fun and he laughs, but he isn’t the same guy he was before. He seems a bit… sad in the inside. Gerard and I, well we used to have conversation about a lot of things, but we haven’t had real ones. It’s been like this for half a year. It’s all because of some girl.”
“So, he doesn’t trust people or even get close to a girl, all because of one girl. He’s going to judge us all?” She said a bit tense.
“If this is about him leaving you or yeah you know, it’s really all my fault. He did ask me about you or like about liking someone. I guess I told him it wasn’t a bright idea. From there he probably decided to avoid you? I guess my real reason was because I like this girl, whom I know she likes him, but I was scared that maybe if I told him to start forgetting about the past and move on he’d might end up with that girl.” I told her.
“Can we continue walking to get to school?” I tried to cut off this whole topic.
“But how can you keep having fun knowing your doing this to him? Don’t you miss the old times with him? You’re the one making a girl come between you two, at least he’s trying to be who he is...” She said strongly.
“I know… that’s why I hate myself some times” I said and started walking again knowing she would too.
The rest of the trip was silent and once we got there I told her I’d meet her in the front to walk her home. I wouldn’t even know if she’d wait for me. I didn’t want to think about so many things. I already was feeling a bit bad. I guess I’ll continue the rest of they day as I normally do.
I needed to force myself to get ready. So, unwillingly I got in the shower and finished up whatever business I had to do. I felt like I had to be rushed, it’s not going to be so fun to walk 10 blocks down to get some one I don’t know.
“…Someone I don’t know…” I realized that I did a very stupid thing to agree to get someone I really don’t know. What was I suppose to do, what am I suppose to say? I can’t just walk up to her and drag her with me.
I started walking the first few blocks when it really did occur to me that I had no natural plan what so ever.
I came to an abrupt stop and gave my plan a little more thought. All I came up with was to stop by Gerard’s house. I guess I could settle for the idea.
Moments passed by and I see that I’m a few houses away from Gerard’s house. I felt relaxed knowing I was only a few passing moments until I could ask Gerard for help.
I finally got there. It seemed like no one was home cause everything was off and it was quiet. I used to remember all the noise and commotion with Gerard and Ryan fighting for things.
“GERARD! HEY GERARD.” I yelled out for several minutes. I started giving up then I hear a soft voice behind me.
“Excuse me, are you looking for Gerard? Is he there?” A girl said.
I really didn’t know who it was, I turn and I find a girl, so I assumed it was Jaimee.
“So, your this Jaimee girl?” It came out sort of rude though, I didn’t want to say anything else. It might come out wrong. Of course I had that face where I was unsure about what I just said.
“It’s okay, I know what you mean and yes, I am Jaimee.” She replied to me perfectly fine of my mistake. “Are you a friend of Gerard?” she continued.
“Actually, I’m the best friend. Ever since I could remember.” I said in a funny way. “By the way, I’m Daniel. Gerard told me to come and get you, cause he won’t make it to school.” I said slowing down with each word said.
“Gerard…” I heard her say as if she was sad or guilty. I couldn’t really make it out. I was going to ask her if everything was fine, but she seemed to ask me more things.
“Is he doing okay?” she said and before I got to answer or give it more than 20 seconds to think about she says “Never mind, can you walk with me to school?” I couldn’t really say no of course, so I nodded my head in a considerable yes.
Every moment of silence while we were walking felt awkward. It’s like she was sad and It kind of ate me up. I had to do or say some thing. “You know, Gerard’s not a bad kid.” I said to break the vibe around us.
“He told you what happened?” She said.
“Yeah… He seemed pretty bummed out about it. He couldn’t show his face around you, I guess that’s why he didn’t want to go school today.” I said.
After I told her that she suddenly stopped. “You don’t know how I felt, I trusted him. It’s not easy for me to trust someone I hardly know. Yeah, I probably seem like I’m lying to you, cause I’m pouring my heart out to you, but I feel like it’s another way and the only to tell him things now. I feel different around him, like I’m scared, scared of saying things to him. He’s just a good different and I thought I could trust him.” She said with her face down.
It seemed like she kept getting off track and saying other stuff. I didn’t really know what to say but I tried, “Gerard really isn’t a bad kid. He’s actually been through a lot. Yeah, sure he has fun and he laughs, but he isn’t the same guy he was before. He seems a bit… sad in the inside. Gerard and I, well we used to have conversation about a lot of things, but we haven’t had real ones. It’s been like this for half a year. It’s all because of some girl.”
“So, he doesn’t trust people or even get close to a girl, all because of one girl. He’s going to judge us all?” She said a bit tense.
“If this is about him leaving you or yeah you know, it’s really all my fault. He did ask me about you or like about liking someone. I guess I told him it wasn’t a bright idea. From there he probably decided to avoid you? I guess my real reason was because I like this girl, whom I know she likes him, but I was scared that maybe if I told him to start forgetting about the past and move on he’d might end up with that girl.” I told her.
“Can we continue walking to get to school?” I tried to cut off this whole topic.
“But how can you keep having fun knowing your doing this to him? Don’t you miss the old times with him? You’re the one making a girl come between you two, at least he’s trying to be who he is...” She said strongly.
“I know… that’s why I hate myself some times” I said and started walking again knowing she would too.
The rest of the trip was silent and once we got there I told her I’d meet her in the front to walk her home. I wouldn’t even know if she’d wait for me. I didn’t want to think about so many things. I already was feeling a bit bad. I guess I’ll continue the rest of they day as I normally do.