Marked with Silence

“Hi Sapphira,” he greeted as he stood up and began to walk over.

He was our age, maybe a little older. He was taller than me, more muscular than me. He had blonde hair, and very green eyes.

Sapphira didn’t say a word. I looked at her face to find her mouth slightly open and her eyes wide.

“Don’t be like that Sapphy,” the stranger pleaded.

‘Sapphy? Who in the hell is this guy?’

“Don’t be rude Sapphira,” her aunt said to her from the couch. “Max drove all the way down here to see you. Greet him properly.”

She ignored the command and whispered, “What are you doing here?”

“Maybe we should give them a minute alone,” Mr. Chadney suggested.

They got up from the couch.

“Wait. Jerome was something to say,” she said evenly.

All eyes except Sapphira’s were on me.

“My, um, mom is inviting you to, uh, dinner tomorrow. All three of you. At…six.”

I sounded like an idiot. I couldn’t believe that Sapphria would remind them of something so trivial when something so big seemed to be taking place.

“Who’s this?” Max nudged his head towards me. He didn’t raise his voice or sneer.

I could tell that he was a nice guy, and I hated it. I had a feeling about how he had fit into Sapphira’s life.

“What are you doing here Max?” Sapphira sounded broken.

“I wanted to see you. I miss you.”

I’d seen scenes like this all the time in the movies. But usually there wasn’t more than two people focused on camera. I was awkwardly standing to the side, watching another boy sweet talk my girlfriend.

She closed her eyes and brought her hands to her head, “I can’t…I can’t do this.”

We both reached for her. Both of our arms shot up to comfort her. When we realized, our eyes looked straight at the others. I was sure that I slightly glared.

“I’m gonna sit down.” Sapphira went around the both of us to sit down on the couch. He and I followed, stopping when we were standing in front of her.

“Jerome, this is Max—my ex-boyfriend. Max this is Jerome—my-“

“You’re new boyfriend,” Max finished.

“What. Are. You. Doing here?” She repeated for the third time.

“I still love you.”

My eyes opened wide as he said those words, Sapphira started crying. I couldn’t bring myself to reach out and hold her. Suddenly, I no longer felt like it was my place alone. She didn’t feel like she was mine.

“No you don’t,” said Sapphira. “Take it back.”

She brought her legs up on the couch and held them to her chest. She presseed her cheek on her knee, facing away from Max.

He kneeled down so that he was at the foot of the couch. They were mere inches away from each other. “I’ve tried to hate you, Sapphy. I’ve tried to stay angry and I’ve tried to forget. But I can’t.”

I didn’t know what to do. ‘Should I leave?’ No, I couldn’t slink away and allow this guy to sweep Sapphira off of her feet. But I had to face it; I wasn’t the type of person to get in between. I wasn’t that guy who’d throw the first punch.

She looked up and glared at him. “I was shit to you last year, Max. And I did it on purpose.”

It was like they forgot that I was even in the room. And even though it was selfish of me, I felt hurt too.

“You aren’t cruel, Sapphy. I know you have an explanation.”

Sapphira finally turned her gaze to me. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

Her face went blank for a moment. Then she said, “I’ll call you later, okay?”

Stab. I didn’t think she realized how much she was hurting me at this moment. I knew that she wasn’t actually choosing her ex over me, but it sure seemed that way. It sure felt that way too.

“Maybe he deserves to hear this, to know what you were like after.”

He was referring to her family’s death. It didn’t make sense, why he would want me to stay. I thought that he would have wanted to be alone with ‘Sapphy’.

“I didn’t say I was going to tell you anything,” she snapped at Max.

He looked at her with a hard gaze, “I think you owe me. I stood by you until you threw me away.”

“I did that on purpose too,” she said quietly.

Max looked up at me, “So are you staying Jerome?”

I looked down at her, and her eyes were pleading me to go. There was an enormous space in between us.

“I’ll call you later, I promise.”

“Yeah,” I replied quietly. I stepped forward, leaned down, and placed a light kiss on the tip of her cheek bone. I turned my head, and Max and I looked at each other. I hoped that I looked unconcerned, but I knew my eyes showed my worry. I knew that he saw it too.

I turned around and walked away. Before I knew it I was waiting for the elevator. I didn’t think so much anger could rush through me at once, but there it was. I felt like it would burst out of me.

‘How could she not have told me?’ The thought kept repeating in my head.

“Jerome!”

I looked back down the hallway to see Max running towards me.

I cocked an eyebrow. “What do you want?”

He stopped when we were about three feet apart. “She’s a hard girl to love, huh?”

“What?”

He smirked. “I of all people would know.”

I didn’t try to play dumb. “Don’t steal her from me. She isn’t yours anymore.”

“She’s a hard girl to love,” he repeated, “but she’s an even harder girl to lose.”

I clenched my jaw, “Is that what you came out here to tell me?”

He shook his head. “I came to tell you that I’m gonna be here for a while. I don’t have to be back at college for five weeks.”

“So, what, you’re gonna stay here for five weeks begging for her to take you back? She doesn’t even want you here.”

Max shrugged, “I’ll only be here for as long as she says I can stay. If she wants me to leave, I’ll jump back in my car and go home.”

“Why would she want you to stay?”

He tucked his hands into his pockets. “I was there after the accident. If you think she’s a mess now,” he gave a sorrow-laced chuckle, “you should have seen her last year. I’m the one who picked all the pieces of her up. I’m the one that made sure she ate. I’m the one that took her to counseling. I’m the one that never left her side. I’m the one that gave her her anti-depressants and made sure she didn’t try to off herself by taking too many sleeping pills. Me.”

The hugest lump formed in my throat. I pictured him do everything he said that he did. I felt so betrayed. I wondered why Sapphira never told me—about him or how she was after her family died. I knew that she was a wreck, but I guessed I never thought to ask how much of one.

I couldn’t say a word. There was nothing I could say to that.

“She’s always going to love me for that. And I’m here to see if she still loves me romantically because I’m still in love with her. And I know that you’re a nice guy, and I know that what I’m doing is very asinine of me, but you very well know that she’s worth it; that she’s worth everything.”

“She broke her promise to herself for me,” I weakly tried to match his argument. “The one about people missing her. Why would she do that for me, and not for you?”

“We were in love Jerome—so she knew that I was going to miss her. She treated me like shit because she wanted me to miss her less. Because she loved me. I know that. And if you really think about it, you’ll know that it’s true too. And if she really loved you, she wouldn’t want you to miss her either.”

I felt like crying and punching something at the same time. I didn’t think I could talk without the words getting caught in my throat, so I remained silent.

“I should get back,” Max inclined his head back towards Sapphira’s apartment. “I’ll get your number from her phone. We should talk.”

I watched him jog his way back until he was inside. I could feel my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. I ignored it, knowing it was my mom trying to figure out what was taking me so long.

I turned around to find that the elevator button was no longer lit—I had missed it. I pressed the down button again and waited. When it came, I fisted my hands and punched the metal doors right before it opened. And then I walked in and punched again as soon as the doors closed. I screamed the nine-flights down. I had burst.

Love wasn’t feeling so good.