Marked with Silence

Pleasantries didn’t last long. Even with two normal people, pleasantries could only do so much, could only take up so much time. In this case, only twenty-seven seconds.

My mom started another conversation when she came to a stop sign.

“Are you two almost finished with the project?” I knew that question was geared for Sapphira since my mom looked at her through the rearview mirror.

Sapphira's nails were in between her teeth, her focus on her lap. She didn’t know that my mom wanted her to answer.

“Sapphira,” I turned to call her.

Her eyes rose slowly, landing on me. I slightly nodded my head, encouraging her to answer.

“Yes,” she said softly.

I looked back to the front and my mom and I exchanged looks. My eyes pleaded for her to let the silence be, to not ask anymore. She didn’t listen.

“So, what school were you at before you went to Cadbury?”

“Williamson.”

“Is that near here?”

“It’s in Sussex.”

Inside my head I was screaming for my mom to shut up. I was worried that she might say something that she wasn’t supposed to know. The only thing I had kept from her was how her parents died, and the reason she didn’t speak much. But my mom was privy to everything else. And it wouldn’t help if she gave Sapphira another reason to not forgive me.

I looked at the street signs and sighed. Five minutes was too much time.

“Hmm, Sussex County,” my mom repeats. “Is it a nice place?”

“I suppose.”

My mom drives for ten seconds without asking another question. And when she opens her mouth, I jump in.

“Hey mom,” I say hurriedly, “what’s for dinner?”

She smiled, “It’s a surprise.”

My eyebrows rose.

“Oh, and speaking of. Sapphira, will you be staying for dinner?

“No,” she answered quickly.

My mom challenged her. “Why not?”

“I told my aunt I’d be back by eight.”

“That’s more than plenty of time to have dinner.”

“Not with the amount of work left on the project.”

As nerve-racking as it was, the scene was very amusing. Sapphira’s whispers were beginning to be said with an edge. And although she probably didn’t care that she was being so blatantly rude to an adult, I knew my mom wouldn’t stand to be spoken to that way.

“Seeing as I’m the one who will be driving you home, I’ll only take you after we’ve had dinner.”

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

“I’ll walk.”

By this time Sapphira was glaring at the back of my mom’s seat.

There was a smirk on my mom’s face. She was enjoying this.

“We’ll see about that, Sapphira. We will see about that.”


I could tell by the clench of her jaw that she was still angry when we entered my room. And the first thing she saw was my laptop, which I had left on my bed.

I wanted to hit myself when she shot me a pointed look. I completely forgot that I had told her that I didn’t have one. It totally slipped my mind that I lied just so I could go to her house.

She shook her head, knowing that she knew that I realized my sloppiness, and not to mention my obvious stupidity.

I grabbed the present from my dresser and held it out to her. She raised her eyebrows.

“It’s, uh…um…my way of apologizing,” I explained.

I extended my arm further, and she slowly reached with both hands to take it from me.

“What I said last week, I was totally out of line. And not to mention, very douche-like of me.”

She cocked her head, examining the stuffed animal. I continued apologizing.

“I was just really frustrated and acted really dumb because of it. I didn’t mean what I said.”

Sapphira was still looking at it intently, now petting its fur with one hand.

I was begging for her to forgive me inside of my head.

“Um, I personalized it,” I added. “It talks when you hug it.”

She brought the moose to her chest gradually, as if it were a motion that her body found awkward. Her arms were completely wrapped around it before she squeezed.

“I’m sorry,” it said. Or more like, it said with my voice.

I wasn’t sure, but I thought I saw a tiny smile creep to her face.

Sapphira licked her lips before asking, “Why did you get this for me?”

“…I felt bad about the other day.”

She held the moose up with one hand. “This is so unnecessary.”

Was she angry? I wasn’t sure. I carefully chose my words, “I wanted you to forgive me.”

After blinking a few times, she let out a sigh.

“You’re probably thinking that it’s a bit much just for an apology. I know that it’s a little over the top, but that’s kind of just the way I am. I, um…I really didn’t want you to be mad at me, so I figured that I should have a really notable apology…” I realized that I was rambling. And if I were talking to any other girl at that moment, I might have been hoping for her to interrupt me.

She looked mad. At least, I thought she did. I was beginning to get antsy. What if she didn’t forgive me? I wasn’t going to force her again. But it didn’t make sense why she wouldn’t accept my apology.

Is she really that sensitive?

Her lips slightly parted, “You genuinely like me.”

With a smile I replied, “Yeah.”

“You should stop.”

With a frown I asked, “What?”

“Stop liking me.”

“But why?”

She shook her head, “You know why. Don’t pretend that you don’t.”

“If you died tomorrow, I’d miss you,” I told her honestly. “So don’t play that card.”

I walked over to my bed and sat down. Sapphira opted to lean back against the door.

“There are degrees of missing.”

I scoffed, “You have no idea the degree I’m attracted to you. I like you so much, that if you really did die tomorrow, I’d be a wreck. And you’re just gonna have to deal with that.”

I wasn’t sure if I should be taking this tone with her again. I really wished that she and I could just talk, but she only talked to me when we were having an argument.

“You know what,” she shrugged. “I’m sick of being around you. I’ll finish the project on my own, just work on your half of the presentation.”

Sapphira turned the door knob, but I jumped up and closed the door before she could pass. She turned around to protest, but I pressed my mouth to hers, bringing my hands up to hold her face. A sharp pain then hit me just above my left hip bone, and I recoiled backwards until I found the bed behind me. I looked up at Sapphira once I was sitting, finding a terrified look on her face and a clenched fist. And then I realized—it took her about four seconds too long to push me away.

I held my right arm straight out and pointed at her, “You like me too.” The words came out breathy, but were filled with confidence.

“I do not,” she defended. And as if to prove her point, wiped her lips with her sleeve.

I shook my head, “You’re lying. You didn’t push me away quick enough. You liked the kiss, because you like me.”

“You’re full of shit,” she spat. “I was in shock.”

“Whatever,” I replied.

Despite the anger on her face, I couldn’t help but feel elated. She liked me back. I was sure of it.

With her weight against the door, she sunk until she was squatting. From what used to be fear, which then turned to rage, her face was now contorted into the saddest look.

“What are you feeling right now?”

She shook her head, stood up, and reached for the door knob. “After our presentation, I am never speaking to you again.” She opened the door and turned back to me. “And you’re just gonna have to deal with that.”