Just Like That

The sun woke me up the next morning. I was on my pillow now. My mom had my hands in hers. Her palms were sweating. Or was it mine? I could not tell.

It was amazing how, in such short notice, I would turn in this frail creature. Just months ago, I was actually a human being. Now I was even not sure if I was human. Yes, I still breathed. My heartbeat was still there. Except that I was empty. Weightless. Feathers.

I could not communicate with my body anymore. It was like I was on my own. I was on my own. I had to figure things out with all the power I could find that was still hiding inside of me.

I quivered my hands. My mom instantly came closer towards. Every single jolt of my movement was like electrocuting them, sending spasms of hope every single move.

Even when they knew I was going to die. They still hoped. It broke my heart to see they strong but weary faces they pull inside of me. All the fake smiles, all the tender touches, all the warmth, every single bit and pieces of love they spilled towards me broke my heart.

Why were they still hoping?

I could see the tall glass of water on my side table. I just rolled my eyes towards them. My appetite was fully gone. I never felt hungry nowadays. I never felt thirsty, though my throat was burning. My throat was the place where all the things I wanted to say stayed. My throat was brimmed with words. My eyes were satiated with tears. My lungs were packed with frustrated screams. I wanted to let them all out.

Have you ever had the feeling to rush to the ending of a storybook? What you would do to get to ending. Even if it means that you have to skip everything, the good part and even the bad part. That was exactly how I felt.

I wanted to fast forward my life. Even if I knew I would not have another life if I skipped to the ending but I did not care. Nothing mattered now; with all the pain I was tired of enduring, I just wanted to skip to the ending.

The tumors did not really hurt that much anymore. It was my feelings that killed me. I wanted to die. Take me now.

______________________________________________________________________

End me now. I woke up. I could see the light now. It was taking me away. I allowed my body to float with it.

It was like a tunnel. I had to go through a sinister burrow, alone. I could feel the heat on my hands. There was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Death was beautiful to me now. It got pass the stars, the moon, the sun, everything. Death was the most beautiful thing to me now. I wanted it so badly.
I billowed my way along the tunnel.

It had been two months now. I had fought against my destiny⎯ my destiny to die. I thought I would be dead now. I was far too weak to live.

I was close to the light at the far end. I kicked my feet to accelerate my speed.

“DON’T GO!”

My mom’s voice lunged me back. I went back. I slurped back to my room.

“Rose, let her go now. If she wants to leave, then let her.” It was my dad.

“Yes, Delilah.” I remembered my name now. Delilah. What a pretty name. It did not suit me. “Go if you want to go. We’ll see you in eternity.” Joe? He was still here. “Just, don’t forget us. We love you. I love you. Go now. Take care,” he sniffled. I made him cry.

I drifted back, scouring my room to find that tunnel. It was gone now. Where was it? I want it back.

I could not see it. I slowly closed my eyes.

Something forceful pulled me by my head. Stripping my soul away from my body. It hurt. This was death. My long-awaited death had come to take me down.

My feet were empty now. Soulless. I was scared now⎯ I was alone.

I did not want to leave. I did not want to die. But I did not have any choice now. I gave up, permitting it to take me away. Whatever it is.

Slowly, I became blank. Empty.

“Mom, thanks.” Oh now I could speak!

“Dad, thanks for everything.”

“We love you, honey. Take care of yourself.” I heard him whispered in my ear.

My hand sought for Joe’s hand. “Thank you,” I say slowly.

“No problem.” He kissed me on my forehead. “I love you, Delilah,” he whimpered. “Thank you for showing me the purest kind of love. Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you.”

He pushed my hair back. Then, he ran his fingers along my scalp.

“Go now.” My dad.

“Yes, dad.”

I let go all the hands that were holding on me. “I’m going now.”

“We love you, Delilah. You were a good kid.”

Tears came running out of my eyes. This was it. I was going to die.

I pulled my lips back, and smiled.

I’ll miss you Amelia, I thought lastly.

Little by little, the faces that were before me glided away. My mom’s face was the first one to go, followed by my dad.

I’ll miss you Mom, I thought.

I’ll miss you Dad, I thought.

Joe had his hand over my cheeks. He brushed off the tears on my face. “Do you love me?”

“Yes,” I hissed.

“Forever?” he sniffed.

“Seems like it,” I murmured, smiled my own joke.

He pressed his lips over mine. I thought I was going to wake up.

But, I was not the Sleeping Beauty.

“I love you forever.”

“I love you.” Then I went, peacefully.

THE END.