Black Cloaks, Red Clouds, Purple Nail Polish

Leader's Rules

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Naruto related except a Collector's magazine, a poster, and a bear that I affectionately call Mr. Itachi. I do own one seriously short circuited brain...

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For those who do not know, I am the Akatsuki's assistant. My main job is to keep these "villains" in line and keep the house in order at all times. This is way easier said than done. Leader has given us all a list of rules to follow.

1.) No member is permitted at any time to kill another member. This includes, but is not limited to, cannibalism, the use of explosives, killer genjutsus such as Tsukuyomi, killer puppets, using any swords or scythes, and/or anything else that would result in the "Good Boy's" death. Or any other member for that matter. (Designed to protect Tobi.)

2.) No member is allowed to assign him/herself a mission without permission from the Leader. It is a waste of time to go on a search and rescue mission should you get lost.

3.) No one is to touch Itachi's hair or hair products he uses on his hair. Period. It is to always stay raven black.

4.) No one is to touch Deidara's hair or hair productsshe he uses on his hair. Period. It is to always stay butter yellow.

5.) After 12 a.m. (midnight) only one member to a bedroom. (anti-procreation) Leader doesn't want to be an uncle.

6.) No training within the headquarters--Leader wants his deposit back.

7.) No one is allowed to bring home strays. This includes all animals and humans.

8.) No one is allowed to bring home potential members. They must be cleared by the Leader first.

9.) If you eat or drink the last of an item, replace it. Leader doesn't want to hear Kakuzu's mouth about having to go buy groceries again.

10.) Keep all areas tidy. Leader is very picky.

11.) No one cares about your problems so there shall be no whining, gossiping, complaining or any variation of these three when he is present.

Leader has decided that since he will need more followers to help make his plan work (and that the "villains" he's working with now are slowly losing their minds), he created an Akatsuki ANBU who will specifically go out to complete missions and other tasks for him. On the other hand...the old members will be allowed to rest and catch up on their lives. New sub-ordinates will be accepted. Fan girls will find them. Itachi and Tobi will have medication problems...With the Akatsuki, the fun never ends.

Although Itachi wants it to...badly.