Desperate, but Not Hopeless

Sunlight beams in through Shia’s open bedroom window, still open from last night’s late thunderstorm, which continued on through to the early morning. The bright beams glowing down on the figure snuggled deep within Shia’s sheets.

Millie sits up slowly, and runs a hand over her face, wiping the sleep from her eyes. She lets her eyes adjust to the bright light in the room and squints as she looks around, adapting to the brightness.

Realizing she’s alone, she untangles herself from the sheets and climbs out of bed.

Millie takes her time looking around at her surroundings, Shia’s clean and nicely decorated bedroom. Walking around the bed, she glides her hand along the satin sheets and smiles to herself, memory of last night flooding back to her mind.

She raises a hand to her lips, lightly tracing them softly, remembering the fact that hours before Shia’s were resting perfectly against them.

Wondering where Shia might be, she begins to look around the room she stayed the night in, upon looking, she noticed a piece of paper on the pillow Shia slept on.

Millie makes her way to Shia’s side and picks up the paper, Millie written on top, she unfolds it and begins to read it out loud.

MILLIE: “Don’t judge me! Ma needed help with a few things, sorry I had to disappear. Make yourself at home and I’ll stop by the shop later with some lunch, my treat. Love Shia, kiss.”

Millie smiles at the note, folds it back up and stuffs it into the waist line of Shia’s boxers she’s wearing.

She sees Shia’s un-suite bathroom joining on from the left, she cautiously walks up to it and pushes the door open slightly, peering inside she steps inside and closes the door behind her, making sure to lock it too.

Seeing herself in the mirror in the small distance between her, she walks up to it and frowns back at herself.

MILLIE: I look like crap.

She takes in her appearance. She runs a finger underneath her eyes, removing the small amount of eyeliner from yesterday that has smudged slightly.

She turns over her left wrist, revealing her watch to her and sighs.

She begins to pull off her shirt and throws it down onto the floor, soon creating a pile with her other clothes. She turns on the shower and steps inside, soaking up the hot water into her skin and relaxing.

---

Millie is at home, sitting on the couch with a coffee in her hand, mindlessly flicking through the TV channels with her remote in the opposite hand. She stares at the TV and continues to flick back and forth between channels without registering what’s on.

What do I do now? I’ve built up a life here. I can’t survive off the one job in this place, on my own.

Millie releases a heavy sigh and downs the rest of her coffee.

She turns off the TV with the remote still in hand and then throws it down on the couch, exiting the little room; she paces into the kitchen. Placing the coffee mug she has still in her hand down onto the counter, she walks over to the fridge and opens it, peering inside and finding nothing of interest, she sighs and closes the door.

She walks back down to the small hallway, heading for her room, but stops in her tracks as she comes across Shannon’s old room. She pushes the door slightly and sighs heavily at the sight. The room that was once full and cluttered with clothes, perfume bottles and makeup was now empty.

It’s too quiet without Shannon and the annoying crap she used to talk about. I still can’t believe she actually listened to me for once and packed her shit and left.

Leaving Shannon’s room she continues down the hall to her room, opens the door and steps inside. She opens up her closet doors and pulls out a large duffel bag from the back, throwing it onto her bed. She turns back to her closet and begins to take things off the hangers, throwing the clothed items over her arm.

With the extremely large pile of clothes Millie has collected on her arm, she walks back to her bed and roughly shoves the clothes into the duffel bag before zipping it up.

Millie crouches down beside her bed and pulls out a much smaller bag, unzips it and throws it onto her bed.

With her hands threaded through her hair she walks into the bathroom and pulls out all her toiletries into a bundle in her arms and walks back into her bedroom, throwing the pile into her bag.

Millie grabs the zipper and pulls on it, zipping up the bag, but it stops half way, caught on a loose thread of fabric.

MILLIE: Come on, come on!

Millie continues to pull the zipper, determined to zip the bag up.

SHIA: If you keep pulling it like that, it’s just going to resist more and more.

Startled by Shia’s appearance, Millie tears her hands away from the bag and stares at Shia, standing by the doorway with his back to the wall and his arms crossed over.

SHIA: Going somewhere?

MILLIE: What are you doing here?

SHIA: You wasn’t at work today when I called in, I got worried.

MILLIE: I’m fine.

Shia uncrosses his arms and makes his way over to Millie, holding out his hand for her to grab. Millie takes hold of his hand and stands up with Shia’s help.

MILLIE: That key is for emergencies.

SHIA: Laughing. It was an emergency, I was worried about you.

MILLIE: I told you, I’m fine.

Millie releases Shia’s hand from hers and walks past him, back into the small living room.

Shia frowns and follows Millie’s steps, stopping when he reaches her, he spins her around by her shoulder.

SHIA: What’s happened Mills?

MILLIE: Looking away from his gaze.I was ‘let go’ today.

SHIA: What?

MILLIE: Fired.

SHIA: Why?

MILLIE: They can’t afford to keep me.

Shia doesn’t respond, instead he pulls Millie into his arms and hugs her tightly to his chest.

MILLIE: And now I can’t afford to stay here.

Shia pulls away from the hug, keeping his hands on Millie’s shoulders, he looks at her from arms length.

SHIA: I thought you were going to get someone else to move in?

MILLIE: I still couldn’t afford it now.

SHIA: Stay with me.

Millie turns around and walks away from Shia, she crosses her arms over and wraps them around her body.

Silence settles in the room when Millie doesn’t answer.

Shia walks around Millie and stands in front of her once more, cupping her face in his hands.

SHIA: I bought you something.

MILLIE: Shaking her head. No Shia.

SHIA: Whispers in Millie’s ear. Look out the window.

Millie pulls away from Shia and steps towards the open window, peering out she looks around the street below her.

MILLIE: What am I looking at?

SHIA: Can’t you see it?

MILLIE: See what?

SHIA: Nothing unusual?

MILLIE: Laughing. Stop with the riddles.

SHIA: What do you see?

MILLIE: Nothing but a spoilt brat’s super sweet 16th birthday present, a black BMW convertible and a huge blue bow strapped to the hood.

Shia walks up to Millie, with her back to him, he stands behind her, moves the hair behind her eyes and whispers in her ear once again.

SHIA: It’s yours.

Millie sighs and steps away from the window, away from Shia and sits down on the couch, holding her head in her hands.

MILLIE: You think a car is going to make everything alright?

SHIA: No-

Millie stands up and faces Shia.

MILLIE: Then why did you buy it?

SHIA: Shrugging his shoulders. It’s a birthday present.

MILLIE: It’s not my birthday for another two weeks

SHIA: I know, but I saw it and thought of you.

MILLIE: You thought wrong then. I don’t need a car.

SHIA: In case you have forgotten, you haven’t got one.

MILLIE: I don’t need one-

Shia cuts Mille off.

SHIA: And this way you can drive yourself around, without having being shoferd around, that way Flick won’t get suspicious.

MILLIE: So you’re keeping secrets from her?

SHIA: No-

MILLIE: What’s there to be suspicious of then? We’re just friends, last time I checked it wasn’t a crime.

SHIA: You know what I mean Mills.

MILLIE: So you brought me an expensive car, two weeks before my actual birthday, but you can’t even stretch to $200 for Flick’s birthday? You didn’t even remember her birthday.

Millie laughs with no humor held in it.

SHIA: You’re different.

MILLIE: How?

SHIA: You deserve the car. You work three jobs. She glares at him. Sorry two jobs, hardly have time for yourself and when you do you’re catching up on sleep. You work too hard Mills.

Millie returns back to the couch, her head in her hands as she gazes to the ground.

MILLIE: I don’t need a car Shia, thank you but no thanks, a card would have been enough.

SHIA:Frowning. That’s a bit cheap.

MILLIE: It’s more meaningful. What do you think your girlfriend is going to say when she finds out you brought me car and not her?

SHIA: She won’t know.

MILLIE: How do you know that with your fame? It’ll be all over the news in a few days. She’ll think I’m a gold digging friend.

Shia laughs slightly and moves his way in front of Millie. Standing in front of her, he crouches down to her level and takes her hands in his.

SHIA: I don’t care what she thinks, you need this car.

Millie pulls away from Shia and turns her head away from him.

MILLIE: I don’t need the car, your charity or your money Shia.

SHIA: I know, but-

MILLIE: Is that what you think of me? You feel sorry for me or something?

SHIA: No-

MILLIE: You think I need help?

SHIA: If you just let me get a word in.

Millie crosses her arms over her chest while Shia rests his hands on Millie’s knees as he looks at her.

SHIA: Sighing. I don’t think you need help, I don’t think you’re a charity case. It’s not as If I can’t afford it.

MILLIE: I don’t like you for your money.

SHIA: I never thought you did.

MILLIE: You’re making it seem like I am.

Millie’s voice begins to break slowly.

MILLIE: Everything’s falling apart!

SHIA: It’s going to be okay, it’s just a job.

MILLIE: It’s a job that I haven’t got anymore, a job that I needed the money to pay for rent, a roof over my head. Without that and Shannon I’m screwed.

SHIA: You can stay-

MILLIE: No Shia I can’t, you think Flick would allow it?

SHIA: It’s my fucking house.

Millie’s voice cracks further, her eyes begin to water, the stress of the situation is getting to her, she hold her head in her hands, not wanting to show Shia any weakness, she lets the free falling tears fall down her pale face. Her hands ball around her eyes, furiously and quickly rubbing away the frantic tears as she cries hysterically.

MILLIE: I don’t know what to do!

She sniffs and wipes her nose with the sleeve of her top, her face darkens with a dark red color. Her eyes become puffy and swollen as the tears continue to fall.

MILLIE: Why?

SHIA: Why what?

MILLIE: Why what?! No money, no job, no friends!

SHIA: You have me.

MILLIE: I’ve lost everything, totally alone!

SHIA: You’re not alone.

MILLIE: I am, I kicked Shannon out, I’ve got nothing.

SHIA: You’ve got me.

Millie fails to listen to Shia, her tears fall uncontrollably, she tries to keep up with wiping them away, but it’s no use, it’s a race she doesn’t win.

MILLIE: Nothing.

SHIA: You have me.

MILLIE: Fuck, there isn’t even any food in the damn fridge!

SHIA: Millie.

MILLIE: I can’t even keep food in the fridge!

SHIA: Millie.

MILLIE: I can’t.

Millie suddenly stops talking, breathing heavily she closes her eyes, letting small sobs escape passed her lips, tiny hiccups following through. Shia bits his lip, staring down at a crying woman in front of him was something he was unfamiliar with.

SHIA: Mills don’t cry

Millie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, Shia’s small words causes her to cry harder, refusing to look at Shia she keeps her eyes closed,

Shia removes a hand from Millie’s knee and gently runs his fingertips over Millie’s cheek, stopping just under her chin, he holds her face in his hand. Moving her head slowly with his hand, Shia gazes up at Millie and instantly closes his eyes with a frown on his face.

SHIA: Opening his eyes, he looks at Millie. Millie, look at me.

Millie doesn’t respond.

SHIA: Millie, please look at me.

Mille finally opens her eyes, letting a single tear seep free, she looks into Shia’s eyes. Shia runs a finger down Millie’s cheek again, catching the tear and gently wiping away the left over tears.

SHIA: Everything’s going to be okay, I’m gonna help you through this. Okay?

Millie still doesn’t respond and keeps her eyes shut tight.

SHIA: Okay?!

MILLIE: Nods her head. Okay.

Shia reaches up and kisses Millie’s forehead softly, he takes her hands in his and pulls her up.

MILLIE: Where are we going?

Millie’s voice is still slightly shaken.

SHIA: To bed, you’ve had a long day, you need some rest.

With Millie’s hand still in his own, Shia leads the way to Millie’s bedroom, grabs the duffel bags off the bed and throws them on the floor.

SHIA: Go get changed.

Shia lets go of Millie’s hand and watches her as she walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind her, but leaving it slightly a jar. Shia kicks off his shoes, unbuttons his jeans and slips them off. By the time Shia has set his clothes on a chair Millie walks out in an oversized shirt and some boxers.

Shia smiles at Millie and makes his way over to her, wrapping her up in his arms he hugs her tightly to his chest and kisses her cheek.

SHIA: Come on, time for bed.

Shia pulls the sheets back for Millie and she climbs in, Shia slides in next to her and wraps the sheets around both their bodies, and turns off the side lamp on the table beside him. He leans over Millie and places another soft kiss just passed her lips.

SHIA: Goodnight Millie.

MILLIE: Night Shia.

Silence slowly settles in the dark room.

MILLIE: Shia?

SHIA: Yeah?

MILLIE: Thanks.

SHIA: You don’t have to thank me, I’ll always be here for you.

Shia turns over and looks down at Millie, he smiles, seeing that she’s asleep he places one last kiss on her lips, and closes his eyes.

---

Shia opens his eyes and looks over at the clock on the night stand, reading 9.30, he rolls over and finds the space next to him empty. Frowning, he throws back the sheets and climbs out of bed.

SHIA: Mills?

The air around Shia is cold and empty with no replies. He walks out the room and peeks into the bathroom.

SHIA: Millie?

He calls out again. With no answer, he steps into the hallway, heading straight into the living room, he looks around.

After checking ever other room in the apartment he resorts to his cell phone, remembering that he left it by the door, he heads towards it. He picks up his cell, lying next to the car keys, along with a piece of paper lying under it. He frowns and unfolds the paper, reading it out loud.

SHIA: “Shia, thanks so much for last night, it means a lot, I have to work some things out, please don’t judge me, love Mill, kiss.”