Desperate, but Not Hopeless

Shia is lying awake in his bed, on his side, gazing at the two-inch gap in the curtain.

It’s been six weeks since he shared a bed with Millie, and six weeks since he’d seen her or heard her voice. She’d vanished and Shia had no idea where to.

He used to call her ten times a day, which fell to eight, five, three, and now it’s just the once, always the same message would ring in his ear,
“The cell phone you have called is switched off. Please leave a message.”
She hadn’t been on facebook, he knew – he checked it all the time, and e-mails went completely unanswered.

All in all, Shia’s heart was missing and he didn’t have a clue where to find it.

He feels an arm snake around his waist. Shia rolls his eyes as he feels Felicity’s soft skin pressing against his back, and her warm lips gently kiss the back of his neck.

FELICITY: Morning.

Shia grunts.

FELICITY: Reaching for his manhood.How about a morning workout?

Shia shrugs her off.

FELICITY: Oh come on. You’ve always liked morning sex.

Felicity goes to caressing him again when he flings the bed sheets back and swings his legs out of bed.

SHIA: Standing up and putting a hoodie on. I’m not in the mood.

FELICITY: Sitting up in bed, not bothering to cover her half naked body up. You’re never in the damn mood, Shia!

SHIA: Throwing a bathrobe at her. Cover up Flick, wouldn’t want you getting cold! Mind you, it might improve that cat screech you claim to be a singing voice!

FELICITY: How fucking dare you?!

SHIA: Leaving the room. Easily – actually.

Felicity jumps from the bed and putting the robe on, she follows him to the kitchen.

FELICITY: You’ve been acting funny toward me for weeks. What the hell is wrong?

SHIA: Making coffee. Nothing.

FELICITY: You’re a liar!

SHIA: How am I?

FELICITY: You sent me flowers every day of the tour, then for the last month they just stopped!

SHIA: Got a new car though.

FELICITY: Well…yes-

SHIA: If you’d rather have flowers, I’ll have the car.

FELICITY: You can’t drive – remember?!

SHIA: I could always give it away, or take it back-

FELICITY: No, it’s fine.

SHIA: Thing with you is, Flick, you’re only with me because I’m Shia LaBeouf-

Felicity’s eyes widen.

FELICITY: What the hell?!

SHIA: It’s so obvious. Your career started to take off when we hit the press-

FELICITY: I already had two albums and a sold out world tour under my belt when I met you, thanks!

SHIA: Two albums that didn’t even get gold, and a tour where the venues could hold a max of 200 people! Nothing to shout about Flick!

FELICITY: So I’ve used you, is that what you’re trying to say?

SHIA: Yeah, pretty much.

FELICITY: Well you’re not so fucking innocent!

SHIA: What?!

FELICITY: I might be a crap singer, but I look good in the videos and on the posters, and I fucking good on your arm! I’m not stupid, Shia. I know perfectly well why I’ve got a career, and yes, I might have started to have interest in you because you’re Shia LaBeouf, but you can’t say that having me hasn’t worked wonders for you. Before me you were just a curly haired funny little guy from “Even Stevens” and “Holes”, I made you Shia LaBeouf and don’t you ever fucking forget it!

Felicity spins on her heel, to walk away, believing she’s won the argument.

SHIA: Calmly spoken. I want you to leave.

FELICITY: Spinning back. What?!

SHIA: Still in a natural voice. I want you to leave.

FELICITY: It’s not that simple-

SHIA: Why? We’re not married.

FELICITY: I’ve put a lot into this house!

SHIA: Is that all you care about? Well I’ll tell you what. Everything I’ve bought, I keep and everything you’ve bought, you keep.

FELICITY: Fine!

SHIA: So the house itself is mine, I bought that out-right. Inside, right the kitchen and everything in it – that’s mine, the living room – and everything in that, the study- Do you want me to keep going? Fact is Flick, you told me what you wanted and I bought it!

FELICITY: That’s not true!

SHIA: You find me one thing, that isn’t personal, and tell me I didn’t buy it.

Felicity’s eyes flicker around the kitchen.

FELICITY: Going to him. Shia, we’re good together. Don’t spoil it-

SHIA: Smirking. Thought not. Flick, staying with you is driving me insane-

FELICITY: What do you mean?

SHIA: Becoming annoyed. You’re fucking me off! I hate seeing you! I dread when you come back here! You use my name to get you in the best nightclubs, where was you the night I had my accident? In the VIP section of a club in my damn name! If I hadn’t been at work I would have been well and truly screwed! You’re fucking things up for me! You don’t make me happy, and if I’m being honest, you’ve never done it for me and every time we fuck I think of someone else! Now get dressed and fuck off!

Shia gets his coffee mug and pushes past her; he leaves Felicity standing alone and speechless in the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later Felicity’s standing at the door with a few bags. Shia’s got his back to her, watching T.V.

SHIA: Leave your keys.

FELICITY: How am I meant to get the rest of my things?

SHIA: Ma will let you in. Sarcastically. I know you two got along so well.

FELICITY: Are you sure this is what you want, once I’m out that door, I am not coming back.

SHIA: Never been so sure of anything my entire life.

FELICITY: I mean it Shia.

SHIA: So do I.

FELICITY: Fine! Picking up her BMW car keys. Bye-

SHIA: Leave the car.

FELICITY: But you bought it for me-

SHIA: Turning to face her. Actually, I bought it for someone else, but she wouldn’t take it from me, as she wasn’t my friend for my money! Unlike some-

FELICITY: She?! So that’s what all this is about? Shia goes back to watching the TV. Well don’t worry, everyone will know you’ve cheated on me-

SHIA: Don’t you worry Flick, I’ll even do the exclusive magazine interview with you, might be able to sell a lot more copies that way-

FELICITY: Oh fuck you!

She throws the car keys in his direction, hoping to hit him, but hits the back of the sofa instead. Felicity opens the door, leaves and slams it behind her, while Shia sparks up a cigarette and goes back to daydreaming about Millie.

Millie is rudely awoken from her slumber by someone searching in her room.

MILLIE: Without opening her eyes. You’re wasting your time. I haven’t got anything.

The person suddenly stops, as Millie sits up at looks at them.

AMBER: What?!

MILLIE: I haven’t got any money and I haven’t got anything you can sell, mother, so you might as well save your energy.

Millie looks at her mother. Amber has got the same 5’5” height as Millie, but she’s much thinner, more drawn in the face, and has dull, sunken eyes that are puffed and red due to the lack of a proper nights sleep.

AMBER: Who said I was looking for anything? I was cleaning.

Millie looks at the three drawers Amber has already emptied onto the floor.

MILLIE: Cocking an eyebrow. Cleaning, really?

AMBER: Why have you come back here?

MILLIE: I told you-

AMBER: Oh yeah. You got fired! Like the little failure you are. The kid who always thought she was better than everyone else has come back with her tail between her legs. Face it, you’re just like everyone else around here – a big, fat nothing.

MILLIE: Least I’m not an addict. Least I tried to make something of myself.

AMBER: Nothing came of it thought, did it?

Amber goes back to searching Millie’s dresser.

MILLIE: I haven’t got anything!

AMBER: You’ve got a laptop somewhere!

MILLIE: You fucking sold it already!

AMBER: Get a damn job!

MILLIE: Why don’t you?! Pay for your own fucking fixes!

AMBER: I have a job-

MILLIE: Working the streets is not a job. I hate people like you; you’re a leach on society!

AMBER: At least I know what I am! I don’t parading myself around like a posh, two-faced bitch! Thinking I’m better than anyone else, like the people who live here are shit you’ve stepped in! You’ll be just like everyone else before you know it. Lowlife scum!

MILLIE: Not addicted to a class A though-

AMBER: Was once and you can easily be again.

MILLIE: Because you refused to stop injecting yourself with that shit while you were pregnant! How many times did you actually hit me up when I was born? I’m not surprised I was taken off you; wish I never had to come back!

AMBER: You ungrateful tramp! My mom gave up a lot for you-

MILLIE: I never asked her to!

AMBER: And you needed a fix when you were a baby, all you did was cry-

MILLIE: That’s because I was addicted to heroin because you couldn’t stop!

AMBER: Wish I overdosed-

MILLIE: Oh fuck off!

Millie falls back to the pillow.

AMBER: Throwing a hair brush at Millie, which completely misses. Get a fucking job!

MILLIE: Feed your own fucking addiction!

AMBER: Leaving the room, slamming and banging anything she can lay her hands on. Ungrateful little bitch! Just like her fucking father.

Millie is sitting in her mothers’ small, fowl smelling, dark living room. Though Millie has, over the last weeks, being trying to clean the house, there are certain smells and dirt she can’t wash away. After years of having a heroin addict live there, there is just some things bleach and elbow grease can’t disguise. It seems no matter how much Millie does, she’ll never remove her mothers disgusting habit.

It was true Millie was once on ‘H’ herself, but when a mother is still injecting and a regular bases, a baby will always be born with a need for the drug, and this is the reason as to why Millie was first taken into care, only to go back to Amber when Millie was less than five months old.

The dirty, once cream, now brown curtains are drawn, but the windows are open, making the material move from the breeze. Amber is out somewhere trying to score her fix and as long as she’s out Millie doesn’t care. Millie can relax.

Without a television, which Amber sold a long time ago for a few grams, Millie has no other choice but to listen to the people who share the housing complex. About twenty different songs blast through the open window; each one trying to cover up the next one, so that the person who it’s intended for can only hear theirs. Children are left to their own devices, covered in dirt and makeup, doing God only knows, but are screaming and carrying on nevertheless, all becoming adult long before their time.

Millie is eating a slice of dry toast, the only edible thing in the house. Millie has been sitting in the same spot for hours and hasn’t bothered to get dressed, she’s still in her bed vest top and girls boxers since Amber left earlier in the morning. There is a knock at the door, it’s either Amber wanting to get back in, or one of her druggy cronies, either way, Millie doesn’t move an inch to answer it, she just ignores it and hopes they go away.

The knocking doesn’t stop, but becomes louder and more desperate. After a good five minutes Millie can’t stand listening to the constant banging any longer and gets up to answer the door.

MILLIE: Alright! Fucking hell, can’t you get the fucking hint?! She opens the door, but doesn’t realise who it is. No one’s fucking…home…Shia?

Shia is standing at the front door, with a baseball cap pulled low and a plain look of joy mixed with relief plastered on his face.

SHIA: Smiling. Hi.

MILLIE: Panicking What?

SHIA: You’ve been gone for six weeks and the greeting I get is, “what?”

MILLIE: How did you find me?

SHIA: It wasn’t easy.

MILLIE: It wasn’t supposed to be.

SHIA: I hired a detective-

MILLIE: You’ve been following me?!

SHIA: Well no, yes…not me personally. Why did you go?

MILLIE: I needed to-

SHIA: I’ve broken up with Flick-

MILLIE: What?

SHIA: I care about you-

MILLIE: Oh piss off!

Millie slams the door in his face, so Shia starts banging on the door again.

SHIA: I’m not going anywhere Millie Dale! I’m staying, all night if I have to!

MILLIE: I want you to piss off.

SHIA: I’m not going anywhere!

MILLIE: Why are you even here?

SHIA: I told you, I care about you. You could have been dead in a ditch for all I knew. Why didn’t you tell me where you’d gone?

Millie opens the door a little.

MILLIE: I was ashamed.

SHIA: You’ve got no reason to be.

MILLIE: Look around Shia. It’s a bit of a fall from where we met.

SHIA: Why are you living here?

MILLIE: I had to come back to my Mom’s. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

SHIA: This is where you grew up?

Millie lowers her head, and nods.

SHIA: Mills, you’ve got no reason to be ashamed. Yeah, this might be a bit of a dump, no offence-

MILLIE: None taken.

SHIA: But you pulled yourself up with sheer hard work.

MILLIE: There are things you don’t know about me.

SHIA: I wanna know.

Millie looks down again, only to have her head pulled back up by Shia’s fingertips.

SHIA: I want to know.

Millie’s smile is lopsided when she pushes the door open a little more to let Shia inside. Once he’s in, Millie looks in all directions outside, comes in and locks them inside.