In the End

I couldn’t be sure how long my friends and I have been stuck in this barricaded house because we’ve stopped counting. We didn’t want to continue numbering the days anymore; this wasn’t Christmas.

I could tell that my sister was trying her best to be optimistic for the others’ sake, but by now they’ve found it annoying and even claimed that Lina might have lost her mind already. I only hear my friend, Chad, mumble things about her underneath the blanket where he kept his younger brother “secure”. His name was Bobby, and he was the youngest one in the house with us. He was only eight years old, and only wanted to learn from Chad himself-- the big-brother type of admiration. I thought that that might turn into a problem for all of us in the future soon enough.

The two brothers stayed in the guest room of the house. It was a small room, because mom said that she and dad never really expected guests at all except on extra special occasions like my sister’s birthday and mine. Still, month after month, she’d demand that we kept that room tidy to the point that I thought she might have expected for the bed and sheets to shine with cleanliness. Now it looked barely neat since Bobby never really left the room unless Chad left first to help me reinforce the house with more secure nails or to simply have a talk with me.

In the other room, Lina and her friend from school, Angelica enjoyed their own luxury of having their own secretive conversations. I never bothered to ask what about since, first: I was the oldest one there, and I doubted any one of them would understand me. Second: I always had a feeling I could never understand girls, anyway.

In between the two rooms was the living room, and that’s where I preferred to sleep at night. The girls would have their door closed, and the guys would leave theirs open. Chad was still only fourteen, so I’m sure he still had his fears, although he may have never admitted so. Always wanting to join me in my hobbies, the only one I could really allow him was a simple game of baseball along with little Bobby. I didn’t mind. It was fun at times.

Right next door to Lina’s room was the kitchen, and right across from it was a short and narrow hallway leading into two more bedrooms for my parents and myself. Sleeping in my own room used to give me a nice sense of privacy and solitary respect from my family, but now the last thing that could cross my mind was to leave them vulnerable and slightly farther away from me just so I can have my comfort.

For days now, all I’d ever really done was sit on the living room couch and stare off into the humid air in front of me, my legs wide apart, and my arms limp beside me. Summer didn’t help our circumstance at all, and neither did having my shirt off, but sometimes I felt as if my movements were being slowed down because of the clothes I was wearing, almost as if everything was in slow motion, and that wasn’t good since I knew I wasn’t on any type of drug.

Ever since the paranormal attacks began, I could feel myself drowning slowly in desperation and helplessness, but I could never allow myself to show it… any of my weakness to them. At first I always thought that the mark of eighteen only emphasized the responsibility I would have to carry, but I never knew the burden would be this heavy.

I can hear some of them outside with their low growls and grunts. They walked slow, I can almost feel the vibration of their every step getting closer or away from the house. It didn’t matter which way they all went because the fact is that they were still there, and it did nothing to soothe my nerves.

It was night now, I bet. The last time I looked at my watch, it was only 7 o’ clock. A person couldn’t really tell once it turned morning or night, though, since no sun could make its way in through the hard labor Chad and I had boarded up against the walls and windows. But there wasn’t much movement, that’s part of how I can tell. Everything was so quiet that if I pretended that things were still all right, I might have been delirious enough to think, if only for a few seconds, that it was just another ordinary night… a night when parents could still tuck in their children after reading them a story or two.

But as I looked toward the ceiling above me and sighed, I honestly thought, Who am I kidding? Nothing’s ever gonna be the same again. I even chuckled a bit at how stupid I was to think about the past that was only a few days ago, and brought my hand over my mouth and dragged it down to my chin, chuckling a bit louder this time.

Lina’s bedroom door opened slowly just then, and I couldn’t help but be cautious and whispered out my sister’s name, quickly grabbing the metal baseball bat by my right leg. I couldn’t see much in the darkness since we all agreed before that all candles should be blown off at 8 o’ clock at night. It was safer that way.

“Logan?”

It was Angelica. I eased up and sighed once, then slumped back against the couch, which I’d covered with the blanket from my room. “Hey,” I said casually. I patted the small space next to me loud enough so she could hear it. When she sat down, I felt her weight push down close to me, and that’s when I asked her if anything was wrong.

I had a feeling she shook her head when she said no and sat back just like I did. “I just wanted to talk to you,” she said, her voice calm and confident. “Are you okay? You haven’t been talking much for the past hours.”

“Just thinking,” I told her in a whisper. I blinked once and wondered if I was lying to her. I could have easily told her that I was having my own pity party, but I decided against it.

“Thinking about what?” she pressed with a smile in her voice.

At the moment I really didn’t want to speak with anyone, but that only meant that her observation was correct and that I have been a bit antisocial, so after a long time-- and she allowed me that much time with patience— I sucked my teeth in controlled aggravation and answered her honestly.

“We’re running low on food in this house, and I don’t know what…” I trailed off, not knowing just how much of myself I had revealed to her, and just what she was expecting for me to say next. I don’t think Angelica knew that my face was turned to her, trying to see her reaction past all this darkness between us, but all I felt as she took my hand to her breast was the warmth of her lips on mine.