My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon

“Lindsey! There you are!”

I turned around and saw Gerard, closely followed by the rest of the band, exiting the lobby.

“Here I am.” I spat out bitterly, noticing Frank was grinning at me again.

“What's going on?” Bob asked, his eyebrows furrowed in worry, “You look mad.”

“I'll tell you what's wrong.” I said, standing up and glaring at Frank, who was still smiling, “I'm tired of your fucking friend, Frank Iero. I'm tired of how he can't get a fucking clue and realize when someone doesn't want him. I'm sick of his bullshit and his antics. He's driving me crazy and ever since I met him he's been a complete ass!”

The guys all looked at Frank and I, their mouths open in shock. I stood there, breathing deeply as Frank glowered at me, his smile long gone from his face.

“I've been a complete ass to you?” Frank shot back, his eyes narrowed, “What about you, ignoring me, insulting me, acting as if I'm a piece of shit on the bottom of your shoe? You're such a hypocrite, Lindsey. Everything I did or said to you was a joke. I never meant any of it. Can't you understand the difference between a joke and what's real?”

“Oh, there's a difference, all right.” I yelled back, “Real is realizing when someone doesn't want you, and living with that. A joke is when you're stupid enough to carry something on that nobody finds funny anymore. You want to know what a joke is Frank? You! You're a fucking joke!”

“Oh, excuse me for taking something too far.” Frank said sarcastically, “You know what maybe would have been better than treating me like dirt for the past three weeks though? Maybe if you just told me you weren't interested. But, oh no, you're too full of yourself to do that.”

“I DID TELL YOU!” I screamed, pointing my finger into Frank's face, “I tried to give you that hint so many times, but you didn't take it!”

“You never fucking told me anything.” Frank yelled back, “I would have stopped if you told me honestly that it was bugging you, but no, you never did that. You just thought making me feel like shit would make me stop. Well, you were fucking wrong!”

I opened my mouth to retort, but just then Gerard grabbed me and pulled me away from Frank.

“No!” I shouted, “I'm not done with him. He thinks he's-”

“Lindsey!” Gerard bellowed, “Shut up!”

I scowled at him, but before I could say anything Gerard continued talking.

“Calm down, okay? We don't need you and Frank going at each other's throats.” Gerard looked at me sternly and I closed my mouth, biting back the retort I wanted to utter.

“Jesus.” Gerard sighed, brushing his hand through his hair, “How did this happen?”

“Why don't you ask Frank?” I shot at him, feeling my anger rise quickly once again.

“Lindsey, right now I don't need your bullshit anger taken out on me, alright?” Gerard told me roughly, “I'm asking you a question. Please answer it.”

I just rolled my eyes and told him the story of what happened in the lobby. When I finished Gerard nodded and gave me a pat on the shoulder.

“I'm going to go talk to Frank. How about you go to the beach with Ray, Bob and Mikey?” Gerard suggested.

“I dont't feel much like going to a beach.” I said crabbily.

Gerard let out a laugh, though I didn't know why, “Just go, okay?”

I just shrugged and turned away from him, walking towards Mikey, Ray and Bob.

“Are you-” Bob started, but I interrupted him, “Yeah, let's just go to the beach.”

I saw the three of them exchange glances but they followed me anyways.

“Hey, Lindsey!” I heard Frank shout.

I turned and looked at him. He looked extremely pissed.

“I was right about one thing.” He hollered, “You are psycho. I wouldn't want you even if I could have you.”

I bit my tongue, feeling my eyes suddenly sting with angry tears.

“Fuck you.” I spat out, my voice cracking dangerously before I turned around and continued walking to the beach.