My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon

“Hi, sorry I'm late. Now please step on it and get us to Roswell so we aren't late for our show.” I said, all in one breath, to the bus driver.

I worked my way to the lounge of the bus and saw all the guys sitting on the couches.

“How's your hand?” I asked Ray, sitting down beside him.

Ray chuckled, “It hurts a bit. But at least I got the number of that waitress.”

“Really? What's her name?” I asked, humored that my accidental knife throw caused Ray to meet someone.

“Christa.” He smiled happily.

“Why were you late?” Mikey asked me, interrupting any further conversation between Ray and I.

“I fell asleep and just missed my alarm, I guess.” I told them.

“At least you're here.” Frank got up and sat down on the other side of me, “Our driver was almost having a coronary that you were late. I guess being on time is a big thing for him.”

“I can tell.” I said, noticing how the bus kept swerving wildly, as if the driver was cutting through traffic without a care.

I yawned and sratched my eyebrow. I was still tired from all that early morning cleaning, I guess.

“If you're tired, you can lie down in my bunk.” Frank suggested.

I thought it was a good idea, so I went to the back of the bus and into Frank's bunk. I drew the curtain closed to give me some privacy and settled down to sleep.

It seemed like ten minutes later my cellphone was buzzing. Groggy, I reached into my pocket and flipped it open.

“Hello?” I groaned into it, noticing that it was nearly five in the evening. I guess I had slept longer than I thought.

“Lindsey? It's Dylan.”

“Oh, hi.” I rolled over and lowered my voice, wary of whoever may be walking past the bunks at this moment.

“Look, I'm sorry about this morning. It's just... how can I not talk to you for more than three months when we need to plan our wedding?” Dylan was speaking loudly, a sign that he was annoyed.

“I know, and if I hadn't overslept I would've explained it better. But I really just want to concentrate on this tour and getting it over with. If you're calling me it's just going to remind me how much I miss you. It'll make me want to come home, and I need to finish this tour, Dy.”

I heard him sigh, but when he spoke it was with a softer voice, “Okay, Linds.” He told me, “I'll try not to call. But just so you know, it's not just hard for you being away from home. I miss you everyday. I just want you back here so things can go back to normal.”

“Thank you for understanding.” I said sincerely, “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

We hung up and I stuffed my cellphone back into my pocket. Did I feel bad for lying to Dylan? Yes, of course. But how could I focus on Frank and prepare to tell him the truth when my fiancée was calling me often?

I was just glad we were out of Odessa and no one had found out about my lie. Well, Georgina had suspected, but she wouldn't mention anything to Andy or Dylan. She was too honourable.

Unlike me, I thought, I was probably the least honourable person in the world. I thought back to the first day when I met the band, and wished I would have told them about my relationship status. But that was personal, and I didn't do personal.

Or at least, I used to not do personal. Ever since meeting Frank I had turned into a big, blubbering mass of jelly. I don't know what it was about him that made me feel so small and vulnerable. And I had no idea why I told him I was single in the first place. That was the thing that had messed everything up for me.

And that was the one thing that was going to hurt a lot of people in the end.