My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon

I rolled over in the morning, rubbing my eyes with one hand as my legs touched something soft. I froze, my body pausing as I turned my head slightly to see a body next to mine.

I jumped up from the bed, my heart pounding just as my head throbbed painfully.

“Ugh.” I clenched my teeth, breathing deeply to calm my headache down.

“Lindsey?” The shape on my bed shifted and Frank's head appeared, blinking at me in the morning light.

“What happened last night?” I whispered, my eyes filling dangerously with tears as I struggled to recall memories of the previous night.

If anything had happened, I don't know how I would have lived with myself. How would I be able to marry Dylan and have a life with him if I knew that I had been unfaithful? It was just so hard... being away from the one you loved and... I had been drinking, and Frank was here, and-

“Nothing happened.”

My heart stopped. “Nothing?”

Frank rolled over and sat up, “No... you told me you couldn't.”

“Oh, um...” I stared at him, “Did I say anything else?”

“Lindsey, I didn't want anything either. We've only been dating-” My heart fell at this word, “-for a couple months. It doesn't feel right to do it for the first time when we're on tour.”

“Yeah, I agree with you.” I collasped on the bed opposite from my own, relief coursing through my body so fast I felt light-headed.

But just then the realization that today was the day- the day I told Frank the truth- came back to me, and I groaned inwardly. Ever since I had first told that lie, I never knew that all of this would come from it. I thought things would be easy, that my little slip of the tongue wouldn't matter. But, of course I was wrong, and now my time was up.

“Frank, I-” I paused in the middle of my sentence.

Just looking at Frank smiling so happily at me made this ten times harder. I had no idea how I was going to do this.

“Um, I need to go to the bathroom.” I said quickly, getting off the bed and nearly sprinting into the tiny bathroom.

I locked the door and breathed deeply, running my hands across my face as I did so.

“Okay.” I coaxed myself, “Calm down. You can do this.”

I splashed some cold water on my face and then slowly patted my skin dry with a hand towel. Then I brushed my teeth, scrubbing back and forth over and over again. Then I washed my hands vigorously. I was just about to take a shower when I stopped.

I was stalling, and I knew that it wasn't going to help the situation. I had gotten myself into this, and now I had to get myself out. There was no other way.

I took a huge, calming breath and unlocked the door, stepping outside. I walked slowly, all the time breathing deeply to control my emotions, and turned the corner to see an empty bedroom.

Frank was gone from the bed, and as I stepped closer to examine the pillows I noticed a piece of paper with his writing on it saying, Went to take a shower in my room and eat breakfast with Ray. See you at later. Love, Frank.

“Of course.” I growled, looking up as if to blame God for this, “Come on, why do you have to make this so difficult?”