My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon

I don't know how long I stayed crying on that balcony. All I knew was that the tears would not stop flowing. My nose was running, my face was red, my body was shaking, and I could barely breathe I was crying so hard.

I had curled up into a ball on the balcony chair, sobbing into my knees, not even believing what I had just done. It all seemed so surreal to me. Like I was living in a dream.

As I cried on the balcony overlooking the beautiful beach and sea of Hawaii, the sun started to set. The air that had once warmed my body betrayed me, causing shivers to shoot up across my skin.

I let out a shaky breath, and stood up on trembling legs. I trudged slowly and painfully back into my hotel room. Crying had seemed to wear my body down to such an extent that even moving the slightest bit was agonizing.

I curled into bed, wrapping my self under layers of blankets and still shaking with tears and cold. I didn't know how much longer I could stand this. I was almost certain that soon I was going to stop breathing altogether, and just die.

Suddenly a warm body enveloped mine, and without reacting to see who it was, my body curled into the heat. An arm wrapped around me and I heard a familair voice saying soft words of comfort into the top of my head.

Blinking with red and swollen eyes, I tried to focus on the person lying next to me. There was a tangle of hair, the color I couldn't make out. The face loomed into view next, and I suddenly realized who it was with a irregular beat of my heart.

“Gerard!” I cried, sinking deeper into his body, “I- I-”

I couldn't even speak. Gerard squeezed my body and whispered, “Sshh.”

“I'm- s-s-so sor-or-y!” I hiccuped, “I-”

White dots spurted in front of my eyes, and I suddenly felt my body errupt in a great wave of heat. There was a pounding in my ears and my lungs seemed to have closed off from the rest of my body.

“Lindsey!” Gerard's voice, sounding distant, rattled me, “Lindsey!”

And then my vision slowly faded to black.