My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon

I sighed loudly as I folded the last of my t-shirts and placed them neatly into my suitcase. There were so many new items and new articles of clothing that I had purchased over the last seven months that I had needed to buy a whole new suitcase just to bring everything back to Texas with me.

“Will you stop that sighing?” A disgruntled Gerard called over to me, from where he was haphazardly stuffing his clothes into a gym bag, “It's distracting me.”

I rolled my eyes and placed my last shirt into the suitcase, promptly zipping it up. I bit the inside of my cheek as I scanned the room for anything that I had forgotten to pack. There was nothing to see, so I walked into the bathroom, flicked the light on, and began packing my bathroom stuff up.

It was the second to last day before the tour was finally over. Tomorrow, the band had one final show before we would all fly back home. My flight was scheduled to leave at six p.m. sharp, and Dylan was coming to the Odessa airport to pick me up when my plane landed.

It would be the first time that I had seen him since My Chemical Romance passed through our hometown. And then three months later I would be walking down the aisle, toward him. And then after that we would be flying to our honeymoon spot, which was, ironically enough, Hawaii.

The last two weeks in this island paradise had been anything but relaxing. In a regular world, where I was the kind of tour manager that didn't lie and get romantically involved with one of her clients, I would be having fun and preparing to say my goodbyes.

But because this wasn't a regular world, and I had lied and I had become romantically involved with one of my clients, I had spent the last two weeks trying- and failing miserably- to get Frank to talk to me, or even look at me.

I could understand where he was coming from. I could understand he was extremely mad at me, and really upset over what I had told him... but to not even look at me? To act as if I was a ghost that everyone but he could see? That hurt. It hurt a lot more than I wanted it too.

And because Frank and I were no longer talking, it was hard for the rest of the guys in the band to talk to either of us without it seeming like they were taking sides. Although the fact that Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Bob were still talking to me, and had gotten over their initial anger at what I had done, just made me feel that much more grateful towards them. If they all had been treating me like Frank was, I probably would have taken a swan dive off my balcony and to my death, because I was pretty sure even hell couldn't be as bad as my five new great friends hating my guts.

“Done!” Gerard said triumphantly, throwing his gym bag across the room so it landed with a thwack against the door.

I came out of the bathroom, with all my stuff packed up, and raised my eyebrows at him, “So can I sigh now without distracting you?”

“No, cause it just depresses me.” He walked over to me and gave me that look, the one I had been getting from everyone ever since I told Frank the truth. The look that was half sympathetic, half exasperated.

“You're doing it again.” I turned my back on him as I bent down to stuff my bathroom case into one of my already over-filled suitcases.

“What?”

“The look.” I replied darkly, as Gerard chuckled.

“Sorry.” He brushed a hand through his hair, ruffling it up, “Listen, seeing as it's our last night together, want to get a bite to eat with the guys? To celebrate lasting seven months on the road and not killing each other?”

“Is... Frank... going to be there?” God, just saying his name caused me pain.

“No, because we kicked him out of the band.” Gerard answered sarcastically, “Of course he's going to be there. Why wouldn't he? Come on, Lindsey, it's our last night together before we leave.”

I sighed again and Gerard opened his mouth to attempt to convince me some more.

“Fine!” I yelled, “I'll go. But I'm not going to even talk to anyone or have any fun. This dinner is going to be depressing.”

Gerard laughed and patted my head, “You never know.”