My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon

The doors opened and the music swelled. I took one step forward and everyone's heads in the church turned to face me, all of them smiling. I took a deep breath, taking another step forward.

Dylan stood at the far end of the church, standing next to the priest. He looked drop dead gorgeous in his tuxedo. The loving smile on his face was the only reason I kept putting one foot in front of the other, drawing me closer and closer to my fiancé, and my future.

As I passed rows of our friends and family I noticed their smiling faces. They all thought we were the most perfect match in the world, and who could blame them? Dylan and I had been together for so long that when we finally announced our engagement they must have all thrown their hands up and said, “Finally!”

I noticed Georgina standing on the other side of the priest. Unlike my other bridesmaids, she wasn't smiling, but looking at me with wide eyes filled with sadness. I bit my lip as I stepped ever closer to the most perfect husband anyone could ever wish for.

I could hear the rain thumping on the large windows of the church, barely audible over the wedding march. And still I kept walking forward, closer and closer to who I once thought was my other half.

I realized with a sudden pang that Dylan was the only real boyfriend I'd ever had. How was I sure that he was the one, when I'd never experienced anyone else?

How was I sure that I wasn't meant to fall for another person... another person who was far away in New Jersey.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...” The priest began his sermon when I reached him and Dylan.

I surveyed Dylan, watching as his flawless face glowed with happiness. His brown hair was styled professionally, no longer in a faux hawk like it usually was. His eyes were brown. Plain brown. And they made me suddenly ache to be staring at those beautiful hazel eyes of another person.

“To have and to hold, for-”

There was a sudden banging noise that caused everyone to turn and stare wildly around for the cause of the noise. It was only when a women yelped that everyone spun their heads around to face the huge doors at the start of the aisle: the same ones I had entered through, just moments ago.

I heard Dylan swear as a dark, wet shape stumbled up the aisle. Everyone stared as the shape grew closer, and I was vaguely aware that the priest stopped talking.

“Lindsey.” The shape suddenly looked up and I recognized a familiar hazel glimmer. “P-please don't do this.”

I stared, bemused, at Frank, who stood five feet from me; his hazel eyes glimmered at me; a combined mixture of sadness, disbelief, anger, frustration, and- was it possible?- hope, echoing through one of the most extraordinary set of pupils a human could ever lay sights on.

I gulped, the piercing stare of his determined eyes never leaving my own green ones. He was soaking wet, drenched to the bone, all his clothes matted with sweat, grim and rain, and he still looked like Ken, Barbie doll's perfect husband.

But my perfect husband...

But I couldn't, it was impossible. I could not give up what I already had for someone I had known seven months.

Licking my lips, I mentally cursed myself. If I had never spoken that one word to him, this whole mess wouldn't have ever started. But it was too late, and here I was, and here he was, patiently awaiting my answer.

“Lindsey, please.” Frank choked out, reaching up to wipe away rain water from his face, “I love you.”

This caused quite a commotion. The people in the seats of the church all gasped and began talking at once. Dylan swore again and stepped forward, towards Frank.

“You bastard, what are you doing?” He said menacingly, “You come in here and try to ruin my wedding?”

Frank's eyes widened as Dylan stepped closer to him, “No- no! I- I don't know what to do. Lindsey, please.” He directed those last two words at me. I felt tears sting my eyes and hastily reached up a hand to brush them away.

“Dylan, don't.” I whimpered.

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me.

“Don't... don't fight, please.” I told him.

Dylan sighed and then stepped away from Frank. Frank's eyes were piercing into my own, and I couldn't help but remember everything about the tour. I remembered the feeling of Frank's arms around my body, the way he always smiled that secretive little smile at me. I remembered how he would brush my hair away from my eyes and how he always wanted me to be happy, and would do anything to make me that.

“Frank-” My voice cracked as he blinked rapidly.

It felt like my heart was breaking as I realized he had tears in his eyes. This was all my fault. So many people were going to end up mad at me and relationships would be in pieces.

“I-” Tears dripped down my cheeks, staining my beautiful white dress, “I can't.”

Frank closed his eyes then, and my heart wrenched at the pain I knew he was going through. It was almost the exact same pain that I myself was experiencing at that moment.

Without saying another word, Frank opened his eyes and looked at me. My heart felt like it was ripped from my chest when I realized that after this moment, I would never again gaze upon those beautiful eyes.

And then Frank turned around and began walking away.

He was halfway down the aisle when I opened my mouth to speak. But then I caught sight of Dylan's face and words failed me. Dylan was my first love. I was meant to be with him. I couldn't leave him.

The doors slammed shut and Frank was gone. The people in the church began buzzing with talk of the spectacle that had just taken place.

“Linds.” Georgina was by my side, “Are you sure about this?”

I nodded, tears still threatening to escape from my eyes, “I have to think about Dylan. He's going to be so hurt if I leave now.”

Georgina looked at Dylan, who was muttering to the priest. Then she looked back at me.

“I think you need to think about how hurt you're going to be if you don't pick the right one.”

I just shook my head, “I can't.”

Georgina surveyed me, then stepped back just as the priest began to speak again from where he left off. Dylan smiled at me reassuringly, and my heart suddenly dropped.

“I can't.” I whispered to him, and then, louder, “I can't.”

“Lindsey... what?” Dylan stepped towards me, confused, but I took a step back and shook my head.

“I'm so, so sorry.” I said to him, and then I turned and ran back down the aisle.