Your Guardian Angel

“Where’s Riley?” asked Amanda as she walked through the throng of people and back toward Tyler.

“I don’t know. She just ran off randomly,” responded Tyler. “It was weird, like she saw something that got her upset.”

Amanda frowned. “Hmmm that’s strange. What could possibly make her upset?”

Tyler shrugged. “I don’t know, but I don’t think she would want you to worry about her. This is your party and your birthday and you should enjoy it.”

Amanda nodded. “Yeah I guess you’re right. I just hope she’s ok though.”

“I’m sure she’s fine. Let’s dance.”

He took her hand and led her over to where everyone else was dancing. “With You Gone” by Ryan Cabrera comes on over the speaker.

Looking back if we had one more night to spend
I would steal every second I would never let it end
Like the taste of your lips what I'd give to drink you in...
I will always remember and I know that it goes with me
I will never leave this part of you behind

As Amanda danced with Tyler, she saw the same shaggy blonde hair out of the corner of her eye just as Riley did, so she turned her head and saw Jesse dancing with another girl. “I guess I know why she was upset now,” she thought to herself.

Amanda stopped dancing with Tyler, marched straight up behind Jesse and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around.

“Just what do you think you are doing?” demanded Amanda, putting her hands on her hips.

“What do you mean?”

“Did it ever even occur to you that Riley might be here? She might have seen you dancing with another girl.”

“Oh no…”

“Good job, smart one. She still misses you and you really hurt her yet again. By the way, how did you even get in here? I wasn’t supposed to let you come, so she’s going to be mad at me now. Thanks.”

“I’m sorry but it’s a party and no one checked invitations, so I got in really easily. She told you she misses me?”

“Of course she does. She loves you so much. She didn’t want to break up with you, but she felt like she had to because she was so hurt that you didn’t trust her.”

“Oh man I really messed up. I’m such an idiot for doing this to her, especially since I still love her as much as I ever have. Do you know where Riley went? I really need to see her and explain.”

“No I don’t. She saw you dancing with someone else and ran off. No one has seen her since and I’m starting to get worried.”

“I’m going to go look for her.” With that, he turned and fled from the room.

With you gone it plays on it's so hard to move on
I want to but I wanted you
No, you stay in my head
I'm not over you yet
I try to, but I wanted you

Meanwhile, the garage door was open slightly and the trashcan kept on filling up with more and more beer bottles; I went through them pretty quick. I already drank three and was on my fourth. I sat there in total darkness drinking and crying, no longer caring what became of me or anything around me. If I had to guess, I would say that my eyes were red and my face was completely tearstained with makeup running down it. All I could think about was how I had broken up with Jesse only about two weeks ago and he had already moved on, but somehow I couldn’t. I thought our love meant more to him than that, but I guess I was wrong; it was kind of ironic how I was the one to break up with him, yet he moved on pretty damn fast, when he claimed he loved me. It’s funny how, through everything, I still missed him and wanted to be with him, but obviously he didn’t feel the same way about me. I wanted him to fight for me somehow, but I guess he didn’t really understand that or he didn’t feel like he wanted to fight for me and for what we had. So much for love… I took another sip of beer.

“Riley? RILEY!”

I heard my name being called from outside, but I refused to answer; I did not want to speak to anyone. Not now. Not like this. I decided to hide in the corner. Once I got to my spot and sat down, I heard the door open and close and someone came in and turned the light on.”

“Riley, are you in here?”

Jesse’s voice.

He walked around the room in search of me. I tried my best not to make any noise, but then I moved back and bumped into something that made a loud noise. Busted.

Jesse walked toward the sound and found me on the floor with a bottle in my hand.

“Thank God.” He gave a long, relieved sigh. “What are you doing in here?”

“Hiding from youuuu,” I slurred. Crying and being drunk at the same time make it really hard to speak normally. “D-did you, you th-think I would enjoy watching you d-d-dance with another g-girl?”

What I miss overall is a smile I can't replace
Cuz it starts in your eyes and
It filled up all the space in my heart
I know. I will always remember. and
I know that it goes with me...
I will never leave this part of you behind.

**FLASHBACK**
“SMILE!”

The camera went off and we smiled the best smiles we possibly could. Jesse and I stood on my front lawn with both of our families and my dad started snapping away pictures. You see, today was the day of our Junior Prom. I wore a long halter cream-colored dress that had a puffy skirt and a little bit of lace on top of it, while Jesse wore the normal tuxedo with a bowtie.

“Time for the corsage!”

As Jesse placed the corsage on my wrist, he smiled at me with a smile that lit his eyes right up; it seemed he was excited to spend this special night with me. The clicks of the camera were sounding in the background and we kissed. A few minutes later, the limo showed up and we got in. That night turned out to be one of the best nights of my life so far; everything was completely perfect and nothing went wrong. It was probably one of the last times I remember myself being truly happy.

A few days later, I got the pictures printed and decided to frame the one of me and Jesse smiling for the camera and the one of the two of us kissing and put it on my night table so that it would be the last thing I looked at before I went to sleep. I never wanted to forget the way I felt with Jesse that night, like I was on top of the world.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

“Riley… You don’t understand…”

“Wh-what is there to underst-stand? You already moved on. I’m here with a b-b-broken heart and you don’t even seem phased by our b-breakup.”

“The girl I was dancing with was just a friend, that’s all. She needed someone to take her to the party and she asked me to come with her and I agreed because I thought you might be here and I wanted to see you.”

“A-and you d-didn’t th-think I’d s-see you d-dancing with her? S-save your bull for some-someone who actually w-wants to hear it.” I tried to get up and walk toward the door, but my vision got hazy and I started to fall over, but Jesse caught me in his arms and I looked up into his beautiful green eyes. I tried to shake him off of me, but he wouldn’t let go.

Make no mistake I'm here in this place
not waiting around for you
But I can't help it, I'm still searching
For some way to get through.

**FLASHBACK**
RRRRRIIIINGGGG! I went to go answer the doorbell and there he was, holding one simple red rose.

“Hi! What are you doing here?” I asked, accepting the rose.

“I figured you could use some cheering up. I know how hard this move is on you. The truth is, it’s almost as hard on me because I’m going to miss you so much.”

“You are so sweet to me,” I smiled. “I am so lucky to have a boyfriend like you.”

“The luck goes both ways.”
“I think we need to talk about what’s going to happen to us once I move though if I can’t find a way out of it.”

“What do you mean? We’re going to stay together.”

“You and I both know that long-distance relationships almost never work out. I don’t want you to feel like you’re tied down in a relationship when we won’t even be able to see each other that much. As much as I hate thinking about you being with another girl, I want you to be happy and I don’t want you to have to wait around for me.”

He put his hands on both of my shoulders and looked me square in the eyes. “Riley, there’s no other girl for me. It’s you or nothing. I will never be as happy with anyone else as I am now with you. It’s just not going to happen. Yeah, long distances don’t work for a lot of couples, but we are different than a lot of couples and we’ll find a way to make it work. We have to. I refuse to give up on us.”

“Good. I was really hoping you would say that,” I said, smiling. He kissed me, gave me a hug, took my hand, and then we went up to my room and he helped me pack.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

“Jesse, l-let go of m-me,” I said, trying to break free of his tight grasp.

“Not this time. I already did that once and it turned out to be one of the worst mistakes I’ve ever made. That girl is just a friend of mine. She doesn’t mean half as much to me as you do. I love you, Riley!”

“I-I c-can’t be with y-you.”

“Why not? Please tell me why not,” he responded, desperately.

“I already t-told you! Y-you d-don’t t-trust me! D-do you know how m-much that hurts m-me? I have n-never ch-cheated on you, n-not even once!”

“I’m so sorry for that, I really am. I never should have jumped to conclusions like that, but how would you have reacted if you walked in on me kissing another girl?”

“I p-probably would have been a-angry, b-but I would have at l-least given y-you a chance to ex-explain.”

“I was so angry and hurt that I wasn’t really thinking about anything else. All I knew was what I saw right in front of my eyes and that was you kissing another guy. I didn’t realize there was much else to explain, but I realize now that I was wrong to doubt your faithfulness and I’m sorry that I did.”

“The f-fact that you’re s-sorry d-doesn’t really ch-change anything. It-it d-doesn’t t-take away the hurt in my h-heart,” I sobbed.

“I hurt myself when I hurt you. There hasn’t been a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought about you and what you were doing. I picked up the phone and almost called you at least twenty times a day for the past few weeks.”

“W-why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t think you would answer, since you didn’t answer my calls the days after we broke up. After awhile, I just stopped.”

“Y-you should have k-kept calling. Y-you sh-should have d-done something t-to f-force me to for-forgive you. Y-you didn’t f-fight for me like you s-said you would.” I took another sip out of my beer bottle and Jesse stared at it as if it was a destroyer.

“Well, I’m fighting now and I’m not going to give up on you. Look at yourself, Riley. Look what you’re doing to yourself.”

“W-what do you m-mean?”

“This isn’t you. The Riley I used to know would never go off somewhere and get drunk. Now you’re so drunk that you can’t even walk straight without stumbling or falling over.”

“W-well, you have y-yourself to b-blame for that.”

“Getting drunk and ruining yourself because of me just isn’t worth it. I love you too much to let you do this to yourself.” He took the beer bottle out of my hand, poured it out, and threw it in the trashcan.

“H-hey! How dare you throw out my beer!” I tried to get up and get another one, but Jesse pulled me back down.

“No! I’m not going to let you have any more alcohol! We are going to settle this like adults.”
“Fine! Wh-what about before? You didn’t love me enough to listen to me,” I said bitterly.

“Are you ever going to forgive me?

“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

When I said this, I could tell I hurt him. I could see the desperation in his eyes.

“The day you broke up with me was honestly the worst day of my life. I never should have just let it happen, but I did and now I’m paying the price. I should have listened to you and I know that now. I guess in a way I still blamed you, even though I knew deep down it wasn’t your fault. It was just so hard for me to grasp the idea that you could be with someone else. I can’t stand to think of my future without you in it. I would never give up one single moment we’ve had together. You think I’ve moved on, but I can’t move on from you, no matter how hard I try. I’ll never be able to move on from you and I don’t want to be over you.”

Now you stay in my head.
I’m not over you yet (yeah)
I tried to, but I wanted you!!
I will always remember...

**FLASHBACK**
“I wish we could be like this forever,” I said. I was lying in his arms on my couch and we were watching The Notebook. “Maybe one day we’ll even end up like Allie and Noah…”

“I hope not,” responded Jesse.

I stopped watching and looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“Well, Allie gets Alzheimer’s at the end and I really don’t want you to go through something like that.”

“I’m not talking about that, silly! I’m talking about their love for each other. I hope we are as much in love at an old age as we are now.”

“Oh yeah that. I hope that too.”

“Haha you are such a moron sometimes!”

“Hey!”

“But you’re a lovable moron.”

“Am I still a ‘lovable moron’ when I do this?” He started tickling me and I laughed uncontrollably due to being extremely ticklish.

“No! Stop it! Stop it! Please stop! Please!” As I begged, I continued laughing so hard that my stomach hurt. Finally, I broke free from him and ran. He chased after me and grabbed me around the stomach as we both fell softly to the floor, smiling and laughing the whole time. I looked up into those gorgeous eyes of his and the words just fell out of my mouth.

“I love you,” I said.

“What?”

“I said I love you.”

“I love hearing you say that. Say it again!”

“I love you, Jesse McCartney.”

“I love you too.” He smiled and kissed me softly. I felt my stomach flutter.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

“I d-don’t think I can m-move on f-from y-you either.”

“Then don’t. I know we can get through this, but we just have to try. I never want to give you up again. Give me a chance to earn your forgiveness.

I bit my lip. I knew that I still wanted to be with him and that I would always love him. My head was screaming at me not to forgive him, but my heart just could not let him go. “O-ok,” I said. “Just don’t hurt me again.”

He smiled. “I won’t. By the way, Happy Valentine’s Day.”