Cracker Jack

In a typical elderly-woman fashion, Evelyn gave me a sweater for Christmas. I was surprised, however, by just how much I liked it. Maybe it was simply because it had come from her. I had nothing to offer in return, but nobody seemed to mind.

While Bobby and Angel were setting the table and Jeremiah and Jack were helping Evelyn finish up in the kitchen, I found myself stuck with Camille and Sofi in the living room. I was expecting Camille to gush about her upcoming wedding again, but she remained quiet. Sofi, on the other hand, turned to me with a smile.

"So, Hayley, are you and Jack together? He seems like such a nice boy. And Angel seems to think that you two have a lot in common."

I tried to prevent my cheeks from colouring. "No, we're not together."

"Oh, but I can see the way you look at each other," Camille grinned. "It's only a matter of time until you guys give it a try."

I shook my head. "It's not like that. Jack is..." I paused, thinking of a proper way to word my response. "He deserves someone better."

Camille turned to Sofi and gave her a knowing look. "Do you remember being fifteen and having those self-esteem issues?"

Sofi's eyebrows furrowed and she appeared to be deep in thought. "No, not really," she admitted.

Camille sighed and faced me again. "Don't listen to her, Hayley. She already had Angel chasing her at that age, along with the rest of the boys at school. She doesn't count."

Sofi scoffed. "Nice."

"I don't have self-esteem issues," I interjected. "Jack gets into trouble when he's with me. I don't want that for him. That's all."

"Sure, sure," Camille smiled in an almost maternal way. "Of course it is. Jack will get into trouble with or without you. Not only is he a Mercer, but right now he's got Bobby for a role model. That's not a comforting combination, honey."

"Trust me," I muttered, looking away. "He's better off without a girl like me."

"Don't you think you should let him be the judge of that?"

"He'll make the wrong choice." I whispered. I knew that it was true. Jack didn't have any other friends; I knew that if I tried to separate myself from him, he would have a problem with it. Worse still, I was terrified that our friendship would evolve into something more and I would lose the ability to be without him.

"Oh come on, Hayley, you should just give him a shot," Sofi pressed. "You two are adorable when you look at each other."

I didn't answer. I stared at my hands, which were resting on my lap. My skin was dry; the winter air was not my friend. I was suddenly itching to do something. I felt useless sitting on the couch and talking to Camille and Sofi. I looked around, hoping that the boys would return soon.

As if answering my wish, Jack appeared. He waved a hand and beckoned for me to follow him to the front door. I leapt up so fast that I nearly knocked over my glass of juice.

"Look at how excited she gets," Sofi whispered.

I rolled my eyes and threw on my jacket. Jack led me outside and immediately pulled out his cigarettes.

"So how did you get these? Aren't you currently on lock down?"

He laughed, lighting up. "I had some packs stashed away in my room. It's a hard habit to break, you know. I still have some bottled water and food hidden behind my guitar case in my closet."

"But you haven't tried to break out yet. That means something, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it kind of does."

I let the silence fall around us for a moment, knowing that we had talked about the subject enough already. After a moment, I gave him a curious look. "Why does she let you go out for cigarettes?"

"She doesn't. She has no idea that's why we're out here."

"Why does she think we're out here, then?"

"I just told her that I wanted to rescue you from Sofi and Camille. She said I was overreacting, but I said that you would appreciate it."

I laughed, lighting my own cigarette. "You're right. I do appreciate that. They're already smothering me."

"What were you guys talking about, anyways?" His eyes were glittering. He already knew.

"What do you think? We were talking about how sexy Bobby is, of course," I laced every word in excessive sarcasm.

Jack flashed me a lopsided smirk. "Right. I bet that it wasn't about me at all, huh?"

"Was it that obvious?"

"Kind of. Actually, not really. I just assumed that it was about me. They've been trying to get me to talk about you all day."

"And what did you say?" I allowed myself to sneak a secretive glance at him.

"Are you kidding? I didn't say anything to them. They're like vultures. They'll take anything I say and use it against me later on. Well," he paused, rethinking his statement. "They would probably just tell Angel and Jerry. Then they would use it against me instead."

I felt my cheeks flush. I hoped that it could be blamed on the frigid temperature. "You sound like you would have said something earth-shattering."

Jack's eyes widened for a moment, and he looked away. He seemed to be embarrassed all of a sudden. It made my stomach lurch in an uncomfortable way. Tension started to fill the gap between us.

"You're right," I said, trying to alleviate the stress. "They would use anything for ammunition." I smiled softly.

Jack returned the simple gesture. "Yeah. I hope you're hungry," he switched subjects swiftly. "Mom made a lot of food."

We put out our smokes and headed back inside, both of us rubbing our hands together in an attempt to warm up faster. When the feeling returned to my nose, I walked the rest of the way into the house and found that the living room was deserted.

"They're probably waiting for us at the table," Jack told me. He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on a hook, then did the same with his scarf. I followed suit, then the two of us followed the tantalizing smell into the dining room. Just as Jack had predicted, everyone else was already seated at the table.

"You're late, Cracker Jack," Bobby folded his arms over his chest. "You're lucky we waited."

"Oh Bobby," Evelyn scolded her eldest son lightly. Her face was still pleasant and sweet; clearly it made her extremely happy to have everyone under one roof. "Be nice to your brother. It's not like we haven't had to wait for you before."

"You know I'm just bugging him a little, Ma. If I didn't, who else would?"

Evelyn beamed at all of us, then nodded and Jack and I. "Sit down, kids."

We did as she said, then everyone proceeded to bow their heads as Evelyn said grace. The concept was foreign to me, but I mimicked Jack and pretended that I knew what I was doing.

The dinner conversation was minimal, aside from occasional comments on how delicious the food was. When we had finished, I leapt to my feet to help Evelyn clear the table. I had never once felt the need to do something like that at home, but it may have had something to do with the fact that I was still trying to get on Evelyn's good side. I didn't delude myself into believing that I was forgiven just yet.

"You don't have to help, dear. You go on and chat with the girls. I can get the boys to take over here."

I cleared my throat awkwardly, setting a stack of plates beside the sink. "Actually, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather stay in here."

She looked at me carefully. Her bright blue eyes were still too youthful to fit properly into her heavily lined face. She smiled, then, and it made me feel better about everything that I'd done as of late that had added to her aging. Surely I had caused a few of those last remaining grey hairs to fade to white due to stress.

"I think I understand you a bit more now, Hayley," her voice was low and secretive, as though she were trying to prevent anyone else from hearing what she was saying.

"You do?" I asked blankly.

"Yes, I do. You knew that Jack was only trying to protect you, and you did the same for him as best you could. Right now, that's all that matters. The holidays were meant for sharing and loving one another; it would be no good for anyone to fight or argue right now. And for the record, I wouldn't mind it one bit if Jackie brought you around more often."

I took a moment to let her kind words sink in. My family always fought during the holidays. That was as much a tradition for us as it was for normal people to hang stockings or decorate a tree. Evelyn had an entirely different outlook on things than I did, and I wished that I could see through her eyes for a day.

"I practically live here anyways," I pointed out, choosing to respond to her last statement instead of the entire speech.

"You know what I meant," she said in a sly tone.

"Is that what everyone is going for today?" I asked. "I thought I would get away from relationship talk when I left Sofi and Camille in the other room."

Evelyn winked at me. "I just want Jack to be happy. He hardly smiled at all until I told him to go and invite you over. He hasn't stopped grinning since you got here. Don't break his heart, Hayley."

I managed to smile back at her, then I turned and left the kitchen to gather more dishes. We finished cleaning up in relative silence. When we were finished and the kitchen was returned to its usual, spotless state, I thanked Evelyn and picked up my new sweater.

"Walk her home, Jack," Evelyn commanded.

Without a word, Jack threw on his jacket and held the door open for me. I waved to everyone in the cozy house, then stepped out into the cold, still air.

"Sorry you had to walk me home. Again," I said.

"It's not far. I don't mind. Hey, Hayley?"

"Yeah?" I buried my chin deeper into my jacket to try and protect my cheeks from the cold.

"Earlier, when you asked what I was going to say to the other girls-"

"No sweat, Jack. I get it."

"You... you do?"

I nodded. "Sure. It's probably very similar to what I could have said. But I didn't, either."

"Why not?"

"I'm guessing that it's for the same reason that you didn't."

We stopped walking at the end of my sidewalk. Jack faced me and looked down. The tip of his nose was bright red as the air bit at his extremities. His breath clouded out in front of him so thickly that it resembled the smoke from his last cigarette.

"They're not here now," he said quietly.

I glanced back at the Mercer house, wondering if Evelyn had her nose pressed up to the window in an effort to see us. The mental image made me smile.

"No, they're not," I agreed. I looked back up at Jack, and froze where I was. It wasn't because of the frigid weather, but because of the intense look in his eyes.

He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. It was like kissing a block of ice, but much softer. It wasn't unpleasant, by any means. In fact, when he pulled back, I couldn't seem to wipe the smile off of my face.

"We probably shouldn't mention that to any of them," I murmured.

Jack laughed. "Say whatever you want. I don't really care anymore."

"That might be dangerous."

"I believe I recall you saying once that you liked the dangerous side of me."

As I fumbled over my frozen tongue for some smart-ass comment, Jack grinned at me in a devilish way and turned away. I watched his retreating figure until he reached his front steps. He stopped and looked at me over his shoulder.

"Go inside before you get pneumonia, Hayley," he called.

I remembered then that I was chilled to the bone. I waved a hand at him, then slipped through my front door. It wasn't until I was sitting on my bed, staring through my window, that I found my voice.

"The only dangerous thing about you is your feelings for me."