Cracker Jack

The siren wailed in sorrow over my head. I contemplated how many people had died in this vehicle. Wasn't that how it always seemed to happen? On the news they often said that car crash victims had died on their way to the hospital. That meant that it happened in the ambulance.

Jack was perched beside the paramedic. Evelyn had practically forced him into the ambulance with me as they had loaded up the stretcher. She had been talking so fast that it had been too much effort for me to keep up.

The radio crackled, and I could hear the driver relaying information back to the waiting staff at the hospital. "She's responsive and stable. We can't tell what internal damage is done until we get there and she's opened up."

I choked. It sounded like I was about to be gutted like a fish. The paramedic noticed my momentary lapse in breathing, and he immediately worked to get a response from me.

"Miss, you need to keep breathing," his voice was soothing, but it did nothing to calm me down. "In and out, just take it easy."

"Come on, Hayley," Jack said. "You can't give up."

"I'm scared," I whispered. My voice got lost somewhere within my throat, and no noise came out through my lips. Jack seemed to understand.

He took my hand and clasped it between both of his own. "Mom was going to call your parents before she came to the hospital. We'll all be there with you. Nothing bad will happen, okay?"

I whimpered dully. I hoped that he took that as my acceptance of his words. I yelped as the paramedic worked to stop the bleeding.

"Can't you give her something?" Jack pleaded.

"I'm sorry," the paramedic sounded sincere. "We don't have her information yet. We can't risk giving her anything that she could possibly be allergic to. We're almost to the hospital, and they'll be able to help her there."

"But she's in so much pain!"

The paramedic sighed. I felt bad for him. He probably had to deal with argumentative people all the time. It seemed almost strange for Jack to act this way. He wasn't hidden within himself like he normally was in public.

"It's okay, Jack," I croaked dryly.

"Hayley," he said softly. "Don't talk. Just relax."

Within minutes, I was being pulled from the vehicle and wheeled inside the doors of the emergency room. Jack was trying his best to answer the nurses' questions, but he didn't know a lot of the answers. He was overwhelmed.

"Her mom is coming soon. She can answer better than I can. I really don't know what to tell you."

A nurse eyed him critically. "What is your relation to her?"

"I'm her boyfriend. I was there when it happened."

She nodded. "The police are on their way. They'll need you to make a statement while we're running tests on her."

"No!" I yelled suddenly. Everyone turned to look at me in surprise. "Jack, please don't leave me alone."

He was instantly by my side. "I won't. I'm right here." He turned back to the nurse. "I'll give a statement as soon as I can. But I can't leave her."

The nurse didn't object, but she looked unhappy. I couldn't find it in me to apologize. I wasn't sorry that Jack was so willing to stay with me. I was grateful for it.

Once the bleeding was under control, I was taken for x-rays. I was pumped with some radioactive dye beforehand, and they used the x-rays to look at my kidney. Apparently that was where the damage had been done. Jack held my hand while we waited for my results. He looked to be on the verge of breaking down, but he tried to stay strong.

The door to my room burst open and my mother rushed in. Jack stepped back from my bed to give her some space, and she pushed past him without even giving him a second glance. Her eyes were tense and frightened as she took my hand.

"Hayley, are you alright? I tried to get in here earlier, but I had to do some paperwork first. What happened? Nobody seems to know anything besides Evelyn, and even she's a bit confused."

I opened my mouth to speak, but Jack took it upon himself to fill her in on the details. She listened, but she didn't seem very impressed that he was speaking for me.

"You don't know who did it?" She demanded once he had finished.

"No," he said, sounding ashamed.

"Sure I do," I attempted to make my voice sound light. "It was some backstabbing bitch."

Jack cracked a smile, but Mom was suddenly livid. "You're making jokes? Do you have any idea how lucky you are, Hayley? You could have been killed!"

"I'll live," I told her. "I'm pretty sure."

The door opened again and a doctor entered purposefully. He looked at Jack and my mom, then turned to me. "I'm going to speak with your mother about your results, and then I'll be back to talk to you."

"Why does she get to hear it first? Shouldn't I find out what's wrong with me?" I demanded in as strong a tone as I could muster. It seemed a lot less powerful due to the IV line protruding from the back of my hand.

"It's protocol," he explained patiently. My mother followed him from the room, and Jack sat next to my bed again.

"It'll be fine," he assured me.

"You don't know that," I grumbled.

He fell into silence and so did I. I stared at the door, waiting for any sign of what was being said about me. After an eternity, my mother came in with tear-streaked cheeks. My stomach dropped in dread, and I clutched onto Jack's hand.

"Honey," Mom started.

Jack's grip on me tightened, and I looked over to see his face twisted with worry. I gulped.

"Your left kidney is in bad shape," the doctor took over. "The cut is deep, and we need to go inside to repair it. But you should be completely back to normal within a couple of months."

"I don't," I paused to try and keep my breathing under control. "I don't do surgery."

"Miss Grove," the doctor tried to remain patient. "To leave your kidney as it is would result in massive internal bleeding. It's too dangerous to ignore."

"Isn't there any other way?"

He shook his head. "Not for an injury this severe. But there is some good news. We know that we can save it. There's no need to remove the organ."

I slumped down against the bed. "Yeah," I sighed. "I guess that's a plus."

"We need to get you into surgery as soon as possible. We really can't leave this for any longer than necessary."

I gave Jack a sad, half-hearted smile. "I guess we'll have to catch that movie some other time."

Jack brushed my hair back off of my face. He was trying to hide his fear for my sake. His jaw muscles were pulled tight, but his eyes softened. "It can wait. I'll take you out as soon as you're healed up."

"Hayley, I'm giving them permission to do emergency surgery," Mom said briskly. "This is happening tonight."

I started to shake. I knew that the gaping hole in my back was going to be sewn up tonight one way or another, but I hadn't been expecting to be torn open again first. I just wanted to go home. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on breathing.

"I'll give you a few minutes to get used to the idea," the doctor said softly, excusing himself from the room. "I'll get the OR prepared, then I'll come back."

I heard him leave, but I didn't open my eyes. I tried to prevent myself from hyperventilating.

"Jack," Mom said suddenly. I was shocked that she actually remembered his name. "I'd like to speak to my daughter alone for a moment."

"No," I argued, clinging pitifully to Jack's hand. "I need him there when I go under. And when I wake up."

Mom sighed in exasperation. "Fine, Hayley. I just wanted to tell you how afraid I was when Evelyn called me. I called your father, and he's on his way here. I love you, and I'm going to make sure that nothing like this can ever happen to you again."

I opened my eyes. "You can't prevent it."

"I can try."

I looked over at Jack. "I'm really sorry for all of this. You shouldn't have had to witness it. And you shouldn't have to sit here with me."

He shook his head minutely. "Don't be sorry, Hayley. It's not your fault."

"I know. But I still feel bad."

"Well you shouldn't."

We stared at each other for a long moment in silence. Jack's eyes were deep set and calming. For a moment, I really believed that everything would be okay. And then the door opened and two doctors entered, flanked by a nurse with a motherly face. I felt my breathing hitch once more, and Jack gripped my hand more roughly than he had before.

"I'll be here when you wake up, Hayley. You'll be okay."

"Promise?"

He nodded. "Cross my heart."

His presence, as well as the pressure of his hand, meant the world to me. If he hadn't been there, I would never have willingly gone under the knife. I knew that I was feeling more weak by the minute, but I was too scared to agree to help. But I also knew that Jack needed me to get better.

Even so, as the doctors approached me, I had never felt so impossibly small.