You Mustn't Give Your Heart To A Wild Thing

I could sense Samantha getting evermore agitated at my side and I’d admit, I couldn’t deny feeling the same. Each tap of my pencil against my sketchpad drew an exasperated sigh from her lips and with each shrug of my shoulders; the tapping of her feet against the floor had grown even more feverent. “It’s not rocket science Bro” She mumbled, her forehead pressed to the cold desk.

“No” I stated simply, blowing my bangs from in my eyes. “It’s a lot more complicated”

She groaned loudly and drug herself upright, folding her arms across her chest and pursing her small, peach coloured lips. “You make things so much more difficult for yourself, why don’t you just go with the flow? Just let things ride and see what…”

“I’ve been ‘going with the flow’ for the past two years Sam” I interrupted, drawing the hemline of the skirt scribbled in front of me; a hemline which I was sure to erase two seconds later. “And look where it’s got me”

“I don’t think coming to the movies with Danny and I is going to knock you back off of the wagon”

“Neither do I” I replied, “’s Alex I’m worried about. Well Alex and me, me around…”

“I thought you didn’t like him”

“I don’t, but that doesn’t mean I won’t”

To hide the fact that I found Alex Gaskarth a little charming would be pointless. It would be the pink elephant in the room and the secret, knowing, smirk on everyones lips. To hide the fact that I found Alex Gaskarth more than a little charming from Samantha, would be stupid. The girl; to my distaste and complete bemusement, could read me like a book.

"How charming can a person be at the movies?" Sam reasoned, "With two other people, watching some stupid cartoon?"

"I think ye might be surprised"

"And I, think you're being stupid about this"

"Why d'ye want me to go with ye so bad?"

"Why are you so adamant about not coming?

Samantha and I bickered like sisters. Every comment between the pair of us had a reply to be thrown back instantly and each lame question; used to skirt around the real problem, had an equally lame one to force us even further from the point. It had been much the same since the moment we'd met, and I was doubtful that it was subject to change any time soon.

The childish arguements were what kept us close, and the opinion of Samantha was what had pulled me back to the ground. The times she called me out on my shit, were the times when I realised what I'd been missing for the past two years. And for Samantha; though she feigned to admit it, there was a little enjoyment in mothering me.

"I just don't see why ye need me there"

Sam rolled her eyes as I gathered my sketchbook and pencils into my hands, and proceeded to follow me towards my bag, which I'd slung across the coat hooks on arrival early that morning. "You know how I get around guys" She mumbled, catching the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth. "And I really, really like Danny"

"Ye won't want me cockblocking then will ye"

"You're exhausting"

"And you, are amazing. Ye don't need me there to hold ye hand" I smiled, tapping my pencil lightly against the tip of her nose. "Just work the charm I know ye've got hiding under there somewhere, and he'll be under ye thumb in no time"

"I don't want him under my thumb"

"No, ye want him between ye thighs"

Her mouth twisted into a distasteful smirk, but I knew the shine dancing between her blue eyes and the light blushing of her cheeks that I had expected, gave her away. "I think that's you and Gaskarth"

"I think ye should just admit it" I giggled, "Ye want to hug him, ye want to kiss him, ye want to love..."

Samantha cut my singing short with a short, sharp cough and placed her arms, folded, across her chest once again "Please just come. I don't ask a lot of you. I bought the groceries this week, I..."

"And who's fault were that?"

"Yours, Verity" She answered incredulously, without so much as a breath, "You and the fact that you can't be trusted at the grocery store"

"Ye like fruit loops"

"I also like vegetables, meat, pizza, chocolate...eating from all four food groups"

"I got distracted"

"You mean you were drunk, right?"

"I don't see what this has to do with my coming to the movies with ye"

"You owe me"

"And I'll be more than happy to pay ye back in a way that doesn't involve Alexander Gaskarth" I smiled curtly and dropped my pencil to the desk, holding my sketchpad up and tilting my head to the left; and then the right, to admire the skirt I'd just drawn. "D'ye think..."

"You're being silly trying to avoid Alex"

I sighed once again in exasperation and ran my fingertips slowly through my hair, mussing up my bangs as I did so. "Because he's like a bad smell that won't go away no matter how hard I try?"

She shook her head in dissagreement, and placed her hand atop the papers I was mindlessly ruffling. "Because, Verity, the two of you might be good for one another"

"Whats that saying... two wrongs don't make a right?"

"Just the two of us, we can make it if we try" Sam winked, a dry chuckle escaping her lips as my eyes rolled instictively. "Will Smith's advice trumps all Verity Ann. You should know this"

"He also said 'Yo Homes, smell you later' Sam" I smiled small, rubbing my eraser lightly over the paper; the hemline dissappearing as I'd suspected would happen. "He's not published in Bartletts yet dude"

It was Samanthas turn to roll her eyes, and she did, dramatically, shuffling from my way as I rmoved toward the trash can at the front of the room. An exasperated action she repeated, as she watched me tear the front page from my sketchbook and toss it into the garbage. "Bro, you're never gonna meet the deadline if you throw away every single..."

"I'm never gonna meet the deadline if ye force me to the movies" I countered, asuming this to be enough to silence her.

"It's one night"

"It's one sketch"

"Please"

&&

The olive green of Alex's v-neck brought out the hazel undertones of his primarily chocolate brown eyes and the mischevous glint that was always hidden somewhere within, appeared to be dancing amongst the flecks of orange that gathered around his pupils as he stood outside the multiplex with Danny. Or so it had been; and Samantha had described them as, when she'd returned home a little past midnight.

"It was cruel Verity Ann" She mumbled, delving her hand deep into the bag of leftover pick'n'mix and rifling around. "He looked like a wounded puppy when he realised you weren't coming"

"Ye shouldn't have told him I were. I never agreed to that Sam" I sighed, as she slapped my hand away from where it had been hovering over the sweets and pulled the large, striped paper bag towards herself.

"No sugar for Gaskarth, no sugar for Verity"

"Ye serious?" I questioned, a little bemused. Samantha had, afterall, been the one to warn me of Alex and his premiscuous ways. The girl had sworn blind that any thought of him as more than a friend would be, undoubtedly, my worst idea yet. And Sam knew all of the ins and outs of my ideas, good, bad or otherwise. "Weren't ye the lass that were telling me how much of a player the guy is?"

"Maybe" she replied sheepishly, "Opinions can change"

"Boys don't though. If there's one thing you and I both know, it's that men never change"

The expected roll of eyes never came; something I put down to the fact that the truth of my statement, was the sort that slapped you in the face, before knocking you for six. And instead, Sam pushed her bag of sweets toward me with a silent nod.

My fingers quickly found something hard boiled and a smile crept across my lips, as I pulled out a mint humbug wrapped in plastic.The small black and white striped bonbons reminded me of rainy Sundays at home. Every weekend in nineteen ninety five, my Dad would take Jake and I to the garden centre to visit Grampy. My Grandfather was a little over five hundred; or so Jake had told me and my young mind had believed at the time. And he spent each weekend volunteering at 'Hort's Plants and Aquatics'.

People deal with death in different ways and when Nanna Jane; a woman of mild manners, an incredibly sharp wit and the love of Grampys life, passed away shortly after my sixth birthday. He transferred the love he felt for his wife, into the upkeep of her favourite place and her favourite flowers, that he had showered her with throughout their forty seven year marriage. Nanna Jane adored Rhododendron's and now, Hort's posessed the best selection in the country.

Grampy always had mint humbugs in the pockets of his overalls, and he always gave Jake and I a handful each for the short drive home from Rotherham.

My Dads funeral had been the last time I had seen my Grandfather and the last time he had given me a handful of humbugs for the journey home. I had handed them straight back to him, he looked sadder than I, or than I had ever thought possible. I now know that losing his wife and son within two years of one another broke his heart, but at the time, I was too young to realise this, or that more than a mint humbug or two would be needed to fix such heartache.

"Ye remember every story I tell ye don't ye"

"The important ones" Sam nodded, as I carefully unwrapped the sweet and popped it onto my tongue. "Alex said you were homesick, or that he thinks you are. Figured you could do with a pick me up from across the pond"

"He does?"

"Uhuh. He's more intuative than his dumb grin would have you believe" She smirked.

"Or he's being nosey" I regretted the words the very instant they left the tip of my tongue, and Sams stern stare told me I was right to do so.

"Can you not let him do one nice thing for you?"

"It takes a little more than a sweet to get into my pants, Alex needs to learn that"

"And you need to learn to give him a fucking chance" she retorted heatedly, her eyes fixed firmly on mine. "He's not once been crude enough to mention wanting to 'get in your pants'. He knows better than to even suggest such a..."

It slipped out before I could think to bite my tongue and censor my thoughts. "He's not Oliver, Sam"

"And you're not whoever his ex is or whoever broke his heart" Her smile was uncertain and her head crooked to the left as she twirled her flash of blonde hair around her finger, and her expression was unreadable to the point where I was unsure whether she was preparing to hug or junkpunch me. "If you compare everyone to Oliver, Oliver will end up being the only person you'll believe can make you happy, and that's just not true. If you let your guard down; this stupid, unecessary guard you have up around you, you might find that Alex is perfect for you right now"

"I'm the last thing Alex Gaskarth needs"

"You're the first thing Alex Gaskarth wan..."

We were interupted by the door buzzing. A long, loud buzz that could only be created by someone slamming their fingers against the button outside the door, and a buzz which made it seem a giant mosquito were flying around the apartment.

"I'll get that then" Sam sighed after a few minutes of the pair of us staring at one another. I let my eyes follow her briefly, as she climbed from the stools were we'd been perched and across the kitchen to the hall. Before climbing from my own seat to place the mug I had been drinking from into the washing up bowl. The water was icy cold against my hands and I grimaced as a piece of pasta floated between my fingers.

"Ye do know ye shouldn't was up with cold water, don't ye. Ye won't get owt clean Sa..."

"My Mom did tell me a few times" Alex Gaskarth was stood in my kitchen. An olive green v-neck bringing out the hazel undertones in his dark dark eyes; just as Samantha had said, and a small smile spread across his lips, that made him utterly gorgeous. Something Samantha had forgotten to share. "Hot water scares me though. Burns aren't cool"

I chuckled a little at his 'burns aren't cool' and rested my back against the sink, regretting it as I felt a wet patch materialise at the back of my shirt but refusing to move as that would result in moving closer to Alex. An action I wasn't completely against, but one I knew could be misconstrued as something else. "Hi"

His smile grew broader at my quiet attempt at a greeting, and the corners threatened to turn into a smirk as I fidgeted uncomfortably, playing with the hair that was tickling at my collarbones. "Hello, Verity"

I saw Sam from the corner of my eye, but she dissappeared down the hall just as fast as she had appeared at the door, with a call of 'I'll leave you guys to it' trailing behind her. Her words lingered in the air for a few more minutes than was comfortable, before Alex broke the silence with a short, sharp cough.

"Would ye like some water?"

"The silence was making me uncomfortable is all"

I nodded slowly and hopped up onto the counter, letting my legs dangle over the edge and my back rest against the overhead cupboard. The question as to why he was here, was running circles in my mind. But I knew from experience questions such as that, asked the instant someone steps into your apartment, are a little abrupt and not altogether polite, so bit my tongue in the hope that he would carry on. The muffled sound of a cellphone ringing in a pocket pierced the air and I watched as Alex fumbled in his back pocket to retrieve his sidekick, I knew to be covered in crystals, spelling out Blink 182.

"I have to take this" he mumbled, squinting at the flashing screen. And before I could object, he had ducked from the room to rest out in the hall. I heard his back slump against the far wall and tried desperately to stop myself from eaves dropping on anything more. His voice was lowered and he spoke in an accent I wasn't altogether familiar with; when it came to Alex anyway, but I could make out a few words here and there. Words which drove home my reservations about the two of us.

"That's why we can't date"

He looked confused as he stepped back into the kitchen and his mouth opened to question me. "Ye can't even last five minutes without telling some other girl that ye love her and ye miss her"

"That was my Mom Verity"

"And I'm the fuckin' Pope"

"I hope not. That'd be awful. You're far too irrational and from what I can tell, you're a whole load of trouble"

In all honesty, I believed him, maybe because I wanted to and maybe because of what Samantha had said earlier, but I wouldn't tell him that.

I was the sort of girl that would cut off her nose to spite her face.

"Ye expect me to believe that ye talk to ye mum like that. Tell her that ye love her and miss her, and can't wait to see her?"

"We're close" He shrugged, "And I'm never home anymore"

"Why would she be ringing ye now? Post midnights for booty calls and invitations to parties"

"Time difference" He shrugged again, his concentration and enthusiasm clearly waining. "It's probably cheaper to call off peak"

"This is why we can't date"

His brows knitted together in confusion and I could see that he was struggling for words, by the way in which his mouth opened and closed rapidly, like a fish on dry land. "What have I..."

"I've already given up on us" I sighed, closing my eyes for a second and letting my head loll back "because that's what I d..."

My words dissappeared into his mouth as he pressed his lips against my own. My hands, at first, were pressed against his chest in silent protest at his actions, but as his tongue licked lightly at my lips they moved up and over his shoulders, to let my arms loop loosely around his neck. His body felt good pressed against my own, his arms wrapped snuggly around my waist and my legs wrapped neatly around his narrow hips.

I was breathless as he pulled away and speechless as he untangled himself from my limbs and backed away across the kitchen. "It's good I've got enough determination for the both us then, isn't it"