You Mustn't Give Your Heart To A Wild Thing

Alex had made it a whole five minutes on the couch.

It hadn’t been because of his uncontrollable yearning to see me, nor had it been to steal yet another ‘goodnight kiss’ to go with the two dozen or so others we’d shared on the long walk home. He simply knew that Sam would’ve had him by the balls if he’d so much as wretched in the living room, it was that and the bottle of whisky he’d downed to occupy his mind that had had him racing towards the bathroom metre strides at a time.

Samantha looked at us suspiciously as we entered the living room, and her eyes boggled wildly as she noticed our hands tangled loosely together and my old, oversized FIDM sweater hanging loose from Alex’s equally skinny frame. “Good morning”

Alex grunted in reply and pulled himself from me, missing the sly wink Sam shot in my direction and making his way toward the kitchen. His jeans were still unbuttoned and falling low, exposing his brightly coloured boxer shorts and his hair was sticking out at a dozen different angles, matted at the back of his head and curling as it grazed his shoulders.

Sams wink was entirely valid.

“Second on the left...” I mumbled, climbing over the back of the couch and slipping between the huge cushions. “Above the blender” A smile peeled across my lips as I heard china clink together and I turned to see Alexs smile just as broad as my own, two mugs held triumphantly in his hands.

“I’m gonna take mine black” He said, waving the cat mug in his right hand. “But...”

“Milky” Samantha chirped, “To the point of almost being pure milk, she doesn’t like the taste of coffee too much, reminds her of...”

“A’right mum” I interrupted, shooting her a look before turning to face Alex who’d began to search the refrigerator “’m okay thank ye”

“Orange juice... Vitamin water....” Alex asked perusing slowly, his eyebrow crooking and mouth twisting into a grimace as he pulled a suspicious looking bottle from the bottom shelf. “Whatever this...is?”

“Wheatgrass” I answered, without even really seeing what he was holding. “It’s good f’ye metabolism, speeds it up an’...”

“Do you watch Sex and the City Al?”

“Not regularly, no” He replied somewhat hesitantly. I reaction I swore every man had when asked that simple question.

“You’d do well to drink that” Sam giggled softly, nodding toward the bottle still held in his hand. “Vee will appreciate it too no doubt. According to Samantha Jones, it does wonders for the taste of your...”

“Orange Juice” I screeched suddenly, cutting Sam short before things became a whole ton of uncomfortable “I’ll ‘av an...orange juice, please, sweetie”

“Okay” He mumbled, stretching out the ‘o’ for a little longer than was necessary. “Orange juice for crazy, and a quick tip on not talking in the third person for Samantha Jones”

“I’m not Samantha Jones”

“Ye really weren’t lying when ye said ye don’t watch it” I marvelled, “Huh”

He shook his head and returned to his drink making; managing to locate the glasses, coffee powder and kettle without so much as a peep from Sam or I. It was a shame he wasn’t as capable at the actual drinking part.

“Hothothot” He choked, waving his hand in front of his tongue which was lolling out of the corner of his mouth. His dark brown eyes were watering; small tears rolling slowly down each cheek, and he was bobbing up and down on the couch like an over excited child on a long train journey.

“Ye think?” I smirked, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck and shifting positions on the couch so I was cross legged. “Who’d ‘av thought it aye Sam, that boiling water...from a freshly boiled kettle...would burn ye mouth? Who the fuck woulda thunk it aye?”

Sam was a few laughs from dropping straight from the armchair to the floor and a few gasped breaths from turning completely purple.

“You guys are mean when you’re together” He sulked, his words barely comprehensible through the lisp caused by his rapidly swelling tongue. “What if it swells so big I can’t speak at all?”

“We can only hope” Sam chortled, her red hair swooshing in the air as she rocked back and forth; racked with raucous laughter.

“What if it swells so big I can’t breathe?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it babe” I smiled small, noting the genuine concern flash across his face. “I’ll get ye an ice cube”

I knew his eyes were trained on me as I climbed slowly across his lap, just as much as I knew they’d stay that way as I made my way to the kitchen and to the freezer. And I’d bet the loose change in my purse that he’d watch me bend over to reach the ice tray; adding the twenty on my nightstand that he’d still be looking when I straightened back up. I couldn’t talk though. I’d only learnt about the mole in the small of his back and the scar to the right of his left hip bone through watching him stalk about my bedroom that morning shirtless. I’d only learnt the movements of his eyebrows; which crook was sceptical and which was inquisitive, through sneaking sideways glances at him throughout the day. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d looked close enough to notice the curl of a persons lip in the split second before they started to laugh, but then again, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d paid such close attention to someone other than myself either.

I was looking at Alex through brand new eyes, and he was staring right back.

“Here”

He took the ice from between my fingers and placed it to the tip of his tongue; wincing a little as the rapidly melting cube met the tender surface, and I took the steaming mug of coffee from his hand, setting it down on the floor carefully.

“Thank You”

“Ye welcome” I smiled, tossing my legs over his before burrowing deeper into the large couch cushions. A wide yawn overcame me completely and both Alex and I caught the roll of Sams eyes from across the room, as I stretched my arms out high above my head.

“And thank you for last night” The circles he was tracing across my thigh as he spoke were sending tingles up and down my spine and from the exasperated sigh that escaped Sams lips, I knew that his actions were having the desired effect on her too. “I don’t know any other girls willing to clean up my puke, let alone one who’d clean it up and let me crash in their bed afterward”

“Ye wouldn’t dare chuck up in my bed, I know that Gaskarth” I sighed, “It were the fear of what I’d do t’ye if ye did, that stopped ye. Simple psychology love, ye wouldn’t...”

“It was more the fear of what you wouldn’t do, ever, if I did” He answered with a smirk. “Actually”

“The way to a girls heart isn’t through vomiting on her, no” Sam nodded in Alex’ direction, “well done for realising that, Vee, bro, how are you not already in love with... ”

“Jakes not ‘ere” I interrupted, “Try ‘im at the shop, think ‘e‘s all booked up thoug…”

“I uh, I…”

“ ‘Ere to see me?” I sighed with a roll of my eyes, “Whatever for Oliver?”

He plunged his hands deep into his pockets and fidgeted awkwardly under my stare.

“Apology accepted”

“I ‘aven’t even…”

“Jus’ try an’ control y’gag reflex next time eh kid?”

“I’ll clean um, dry clean an’…”

“It’s fine Oliver” He nodded slowly, unsure of what to say. I’d cut him short every time he’d opened his mouth “ ‘was a nice night till ye decided to empty y’stomach on me”

“I were pissed love” he sighed, “I know ye just sayin that to be nice”

“Since when ‘av I been nice to ye” I giggled, “dead serious though. I was enjoying ye compa…”

“I always enjoy yours”

His eyes grew wide, surprised by his own words and I felt my smile brighten and my eyebrow raise sceptically .“D’ye wanna come in?” I asked. “If ye not busy or…”

A gentle squeeze of my hand jerked me from my daydream and I drug my eyes upward to meet Alexs dark brown orbs and broad grin “I know the exact route to a girls heart” He stated, pulling his eyes from mine after a minute or so and twisting to face Sam. “Don’t sweat it”

“It’s not me you need to convince bro”

“ ‘s not me neither” I mumbled, answering the accusative raise of his eyebrow. I’d been planning on avoiding this entire conversation much like I’d been planning to avoid Alex for the entire upcoming weekend. In my mind everything was sorted, everything was flawless and all would run smoothly. In reality though, it was yet to leave the ground.

“You’re not telling me something”

I struggled to read anything into his tone, it gave nothing away, and his face; though the small twitches at the corners of his mouth gave away the thoughts jostling for first place in his head, remained entirely placid. His eyes fixed steady on mine, his lips held tight together in a perfectly straight line.

“My brothers coming t’visit” I admitted, “this weekend”

The three of us were plunged into silence. Three pairs of eyes scanning three uneasy faces, with three words poised at the tip of three separate tongues.

“And...”

Alex was the first to speak.

I didn’t really have an answer.

&&

Back flips and butterflies were my stomachs daily specialty, my shaking hands had made driving ‘Sally’ more of a challenge than ever and it wasn’t just the crippling humidity of California that had me sweating profusely.

Jake was my brother but Jake was also Olivers best friend.

My feet were tapping out an unknown tune; the soles of my sandals slapping loudly against the polished floor, when a strong hand clamped down on my shoulder, and I smashed my hip against the arm of the uncomfortable metal chair I’d been slumped in as I turned to face the culprit.

“Y’aright kid?”

His hair had been almost shoulder length when I’d left but it now barely grazed his earlobes and his chest tattoo had previously crept a mere centimetre or so above his collarbone, but now a panther lept forth from a background of dark crimson roses.

I had as much trouble expressing how much I’d missed him face to face as I’d been experiencing on the telephone, so instead dove into his arms without a single word when they caught at the back of my throat. With my head buried into the chest of my older brother, He smelt the perfect mix of tobacco and Calvin Klein, and with his arms wrapped tightly around me; in the way only an older, protective brother could, it was the perfect mix of the past and the present.

“My god I love ye” I whispered into his Poison the Well shirt, grabbing at him wildly with clawed hands. “I’ve missed ye so much, ye’ve no idea, ye...”

“Ye gonna ‘av t’let me go at some point” He chuckled, “I can’ breathe love”

I released him suddenly from my death grip and took a few stumbled steps backward, blush creeping up either side of my neck toward my cheeks and my hands tangling together to keep them from grabbing him again. “ ‘ve missed ye just as much Vee, I just....’m fucking sweltering mate, ‘s boilin’, ‘s...”

“It’s California Jake”

“’s fuckin’ ridiculous ‘s what it is”

I chuckled softly and blew my bangs from my face, planting my hands on my hips and rolling my eyes at my brother as he began to fan himself with his hand.

“It’s California Jake” I repeated, “Ye can do that all day an ’s not gonna help. It’s like me wearing these back in Sheff”

He laughed softly as I twirled my wayfarers around in the air and he let his arms fall heavily to his sides with a long, loud sigh. “I’d put up with ye wearin’ anythin’ if it meant ye were back ‘ome”

“I’ll hold ye to that”

“Likewise”

Every conversation Jake and I had shared since my leaving had involved arguing over my return. There were no longer raised voices and there was no more childish name calling, but it was still just a touch below the surface, always and the shadow of such a big question continually loomed heavy overhead.

“How about I take ye for food somewhere? I know what a fussy eater y’are when plane foods concerned”

“The lasagna didn’ ‘av shit on Mams”

“She’s still makin’ it?”

“Between sips, yeah”

We both laughed awkwardly and I winced a little as Jake took the few strides forward to reach me, and slung his arm lazily around my shoulders. It was then that I noticed the ‘Verity’ scrawled across his right wrist, small and a little messy but legible, and It was on further, closer inspection that I noted the crossed ‘i’.

There was one repeated offender of such a thing.

“Jay...”

My choked voice caught him off guard, but he quickly found it made perfect sense once he’d followed my gaze.

“Ye my sister Verity, ‘ve got Mam and Dad, ‘s only right I get ye name too. I got the ‘ole collection...” He said hurriedly. “Ye know, like Pokémon, gotta catch ‘em...”

“But ye did the Mam and Dad ye’self, ye said, ye should do ye own tattoo if it means that much t’ye”

“Yeah, an’ I stick by that, I...”

It was as if our brains had hit the jackpot at the very same second. A collective light bulb ignited above our heads like in a Looney Toons cartoon.

“Ye right handed Jay” I whispered, “An’ ye’ve never crossed the ‘i’ instead of the ‘t’”

He couldn’t meet my eyes with his and despite the warmth that surrounded relentlessly; the humidity that stuck cotton to damp skin and scattered beads of sweat from head to toe. One thousand short, sharp, shivers raced uncontrollably through my body and I felt goose bumps spreading like wildfire across every inch of my skin. “Jake, did Oliv...”

“’e wanted t’ tattoo ye name” Jake mumbled, “ ‘e were practicing on me firs’”