You Mustn't Give Your Heart To A Wild Thing

I pulled my glasses from my face and caught the itch on the left of my forehead that had been bugging me relentlessly, with my index finger. My eyelids were mere seconds from clamping shut, forever; or so I feared, and I was still no closer to making head nor tail of the papers fanned out across the floor in front of me.

Part one of ‘getting my shit together’ again had been to sort through my mountain of unopened mail. Two minutes in, this had been swiftly overtaken by what I’d like to describe as part nought point five. Half a bottle of bourbon and what was left of the hash brownies from the weekend. My concentration was understandably waning and it took over a dozen reads of the word ‘eviction’ for me to realise that I probably should’ve done this sooner or; more importantly, kept the keggers to the weekends and paid my three months overdue rent.

I let the paper slip from between my fingers to the floor and collapsed back onto the Persian rug I’d been curled up on. The cracks streaking across my ceiling caught my eye and for a brief moment I considered claiming my landlord to be negligent and appealing my case. I was quickly brought back down to earth though by the pizza slice that remained stuck to the ceiling from a party a couple of weeks ago and the large burn mark running the length of the far wall, from when Jesse had thought it appropriate to throw his birthday barbecue indoors. Give him his due; the rain was awful and extremely unexpected for a May day in California.

“What’s crackin’ babygirl?”

Speak of the Devil

“Other than our ceiling?” I mumbled, dragging my eyes from where they’d been fixed to look at him as he sauntered across the room; his footsteps heavy on the peeling painted floorboards in his battered white Dr Martens, his hands full of various boutique bags. “Ye’ve been busy?”

“Michaela and I got into a fight”

“In Wasteland?” I questioned with a cock of my eyebrow.

“It was on my way home”

“So is Whole Foods. Did ye pick up some…” I rolled my eyes as a guilty smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and he fidgeted awkwardly. “We need to eat Jesse, a little more than ye need a little retail therap…”

He waved his arms wildly in protest and dug his hands deep into one of the bags, pulling out a faded black t-shirt and chucking it in my direction. I groaned loudly and pulled it from where it had landed across the right side of my face, letting my eyes focus; eventually, on the scratched print that adorned the front. A broad smile spread across my face and I clutched the fabric lovingly to my chest.“Ye bastard” I sighed softly, “Ye know just how to…”

“And don’t worry about the ‘food situation’” I giggled as he poked his tongue from the corner of his mouth and rolled his eyes. “I’m treating you to Ketchup”

“Great. In sandwiches? On the side? With…Did ye spend all ye money on this Warrant shirt?”

“You’ve seen the Cherry Pie on the back right?” He smirked.

“We’re getting evicted Jesse”

“And you, are bringing me down” He countered with a shrug, “What’s new pussycat?”

“This is serious”

“I’m serious” He argued, folding his arms across his chest and pressing his lips into a pout. “and in serious need of some good food, and a cocktail or two. So please, will you...are those brownie crumbs in your lap?”

“I don’t know what ye talking about”

“You’re a bullshit liar”

“And you’re just bullshit”

I yelped a little as he bounded forward and folded onto his knees at my side, pressing his index finger against the small brown specks scattered about my tatty denim hot pants before holding it to his face and inspecting through narrowed eyes.

“Liar” He grinned, blowing the crumbs away through pursed lips and giving me a wink. “I’ll give Baby a call”

“I’m supposed to be getting myself together Jesse, I’m meant to be…”

“Think of it as the last supper” He grinned mischievously, throwing back his head to move his white/blonde hair from his eyes “One final dance with the Devil”

“I don’t dance w…”

“…well” He smirked, “but you do dance. Especially with the Devil, you love that little…”

“It’s a new start Jesse” I interrupted, “I’d appreciate it if ye supported me”

“I’m the WonderBra of support for you baby girl” He teased, “I just think you should have one last farewell” The prospect of one last night of hedonism was way more than my feeble self control could fight off, and the stubborn grin on Jesse’s face told me that any form of resistance would be futile regardless.

I deeply resented the feeling of excitement bubbling deep in the pit of my stomach, yet it was the most familiar and ‘safe’ feeling I’d experienced of late. The thought that I’d have to go without it; if I wished to succeed with this new start, terrified me. Leaving my bad habits behind me in the clubs of Sunset Boulevard would be just as hard; I feared, if not harder, than leaving Oliver Sykes in the streets of Sheffield.

For a girl who has run from pretty much everything, I still hadn’t mastered letting go.

“You’ve even got a killer new shirt to wear, courtesy of Moi” Jesse enthused, climbing unsteadily to his feet and offering his hand to help me do the same. I took it and smiled gratefully as he pulled me to his level and looped his arms loosely around my waist. “And then tomorrow, we’ll get you back on track. I promise”

&&

Baby, was anything but.

He stood looming at just shy of six nine and was the width of at least half a dozen average men. His hair was cropped so short it was hard to not concentrate on the many scars that were scattered across his scalp and his expression was consistently unreadable; I’d seen him smile once and that was followed by his fist colliding with flesh, and teeth being sprayed across the sidewalk. To say the guy scared me was a gross understatement, but Jesse trusted him like no other and I rather stupidly; or so it had come to light, trusted Jesse.

I wanted to tell Jesse this wasn’t a good idea, I should’ve told Jesse his idea was awful. But I knew what his reply would be and today; of all days, I didn’t fancy being told to ‘suck it up’.

My stomach was twisting uncomfortably as the loud music pulsated through my body and I could barely see my hand an inch from my face through the smoke. Sweat had gathered in small beads across my brow line and I could feel similar beads rolling slowly down my spine.

“Why the long face sourpuss?”

I shot Jesse a glare across the table and took a large gulp of my whisky on the rocks, grimacing only slightly as the warm liquid scorched the back of my throat. “I’m supposed to be sorting my life out Jesse” I groaned, “I told ye last night I were gonna…”

“It’s was, Verity.was” A mischievous smirk curled across his lips and he rolled his big green eyes as I flipped him the bird. “I thought we’d sorted your speech out. The Queens English don’t they call i…”

“Ye a cheeky bastard” I grumbled, “Ye drag me out here and spend the entire night…”

“I treated you to Ketchup” He interrupted with a proud, defiant nod. “Do you know how hard it is to get a table in that joint?”

“Not as hard as it’s gonna be catching up on an entire year of school I bet”

“What would you bet?”

“The last dollar fifty in my pocket” I remarked dryly, shuffling in the plush suede booth seat as I felt a pair of eyes on me from across the room. The stare was steely and unnerving, the club was too dark for me to make out exact facial features. It could be any number of people, the amount I’d managed to piss off was now way past counting on my digits.

“A dollar fifty?” Jesse exclaimed, his eyes widening dramatically. “How do you propose we buy blow with that girl?”

“I don’t” I smiled matter of factly, watching his face in amusement as it twitched into a frown. “Dallas is popping down for an hour or so and he…”

“…he’s a sucker?” I rolled my eyes and tapped my hand lightly against his knee, scathing him silently. Dallas was harmless, which meant Jesse deemed him ‘spineless’. “Why else would he be at your every beck and call without so much as a…wait, didn’t you sleep with him in Cabo?”

“I didn’t go to Cabo”

“So you’ve slept with him?” I huffed loudly, blowing air through my pursed lips sending my bangs floating lightly in the air. “Fine. Whatever. If you’re ‘sorting your life out’, cutting Dallas short would be a good start”

“You’re willing to explain to Baby why we’ve called him out with nothing but a dollar fifty to our name?”

“Your name Verity” He caught my glare and gave a quick roll of his eyes “Maybe cut him loose tomorrow”

I nodded slowly as I caught sight of a large, mammoth of a man striding towards us, his chest puffed out emphasising his incredibly broad shoulders and his stare set unflinchingly on the pair of us. I could feel my skin erupting into goose pimples, I could feel my heart trying to escape the confines of my ribcage. The beat was loud, the pace was painful.

“Thank Ye” I croaked as a fluted glass was set down in front of me, and a small, awkward smile crept across my lips as he heaved his huge body into the booth. I winced a little as his shoulder collided with mine, pinning mine against the suede and a small, desperate gasp escaped my lips as his hand crashed down onto my thigh.

“So, down to business. Beautiful, what can I do for you?” I struggled to force his hand from my leg; using both of my own in the end to pick it up and toss it away, and gave a wary sideways glance toward Jesse. “Why the long fa…”

“Beautiful? Are ye talking to me or him?” I mumbled condescendingly, digging my hand deep into my purse and fishing out my cell phone. I fixed my eyes on the bright screen and tried desperately to steady my breathing. My insides were quaking but I knew him too well, like a shark, he smelt fear, and I’d hate to give him such satisfaction “Dallas should be around here somewhere I’ll…”

“What do you need him for baby? I’m all you want, all you need”

I rolled my eyes and pressed my sidekick to my ear, clicking my tongue against my teeth as the dial tone rang out.

“He’s all you want and all ye need right now Paul” I scathed, careful to keep my voice from wavering as I felt his body stiffen beside me. “He’s got the money for the…”

“It’s Baby, you know to…”

My cell dropped heavily from my hand to the table as the room became uncomfortably silent around us and the crowd parted; as the water did for Moses, straight down the middle. The music had all but disappeared and all I could hear was the intense pounding of my heart in my ears.

Dallas was stood a foot before me, his arms crossed sternly across his chest and his eyebrows raised as he looked between the three of us. The tightness of his sneer increased as his eyes landed on Baby and a subtle nod of his head sent the men grouped behind him flying toward our table.

It took four men to wrestle him to the ground.
It took a pair of handcuffs for me to change.