If I Only Had the Heart

Kylie had only been to one wedding before, and even then she was only an attendee. She had never been in a wedding. She had never gotten to enjoy the pleasure of being in a chaotic bridal party full of girls who were crying because they were just so happy for their best friend. Everything up until the time Audrey and Brian were actually saying “I do” was a complete blur to Kylie. She felt like everything was happening at warped speed.
For now though, she could take a breather. Because after weeks of running around and trying to keep Audrey sane, they were finally here; the moment everyone had been waiting for.

As she stood in line with the other bridesmaids while Audrey and Brian exchanged their own written vows, she took everything in. First, she looked at the happy couple. Audrey was glowing; in her pure white dress and princess tiara, she looked like a picture perfect bride. Her hair cascaded down her back in brown waves and she looked as if she had just stepped out of a Bridal magazine. Brian watched her intently with a smile of pure joy on his face. They were, in a sense, the perfect couple that everyone tried to be. They were so happy and they made each other so happy; Kylie was genuinely filled with joy for her friends.

She directed her gaze to the other section of the bridal party, the groomsmen. They were all being perfect gentlemen, watching the wedding taking place intently. She smiled, glad they were behaving; she knew that twelve hours ago, they most definitely weren’t. She had heard about the crazy bachelor party that had taken place and she almost cringed thinking about it.
She glanced out at the crowd in front of her, full of happy friends and family just waiting for the couple to say I do. There was almost an impatient feeling, but that was understandable. When you were this close, who wouldn’t be impatient?

Suddenly, cheering erupted around her. She focused back in on the situation and realized Brian and Audrey were kissing signifying they had just said I do. Kylie smiled, happy. She looked over at the groomsmen as Audrey and Brian paraded out of the church. She and Matt were directly across from each other. They had walked in together, just like Audrey had planned for them to do, and now they were going to walk out. This shouldn’t have frazzled Kylie since she had just done it, but it did.

She linked arms with Matt and the two smiled as they walked out of the church. “That was nice,” she said to Matt quietly. He nodded and smiled also.

She had survived the ceremony with only a few butterflies being the ending results. Now she just had to get through the rest of the night at the reception.

It was going to be a long night.

***

When the wedding party arrived to the ceremony after celebrating in the large limo, minus the bride and groom who took a separate limo, they were all giggly and happy. They downed a bottle of champagne in seconds and were starting on a second when they finally pulled into the banquet hall. “Weddings always put me in a good mood,” Kylie said to Matt.

He laughed. “It’s either that or the two glasses of champagne you just downed.”

She laughed and shoved him playfully. “I am no lightweight! I can hold my liquor, and that was just champagne. It’s not like I downed a bottle of vodka.”

Matt shook his head but laughed at the blonde. She was crazy, but if she was in a good mood then tonight was going to be a lot easier. He wanted to get past this… slump they were in and hopefully move past this friends crap. He missed Kylie and if he was being honest, he was going to try his hardest to get her to realize she missed him to.

Once everyone climbed out of the limo, they followed the bride and groom into the hall where the expected wedding guests were already waiting for them. They wedding party took their respective seats at the head table and after giving everyone a few minutes to get settled, the DJ came on over the speakers. “Alright, alright everyone. I’d like to take this moment to say congrats to the newlyweds.” Everyone cheered loudly. “But first! It’s time for some dinner. Waiters will be around with your dinner course shortly.”

Conversation resumed throughout the whole hall. Matt and Kylie had sat next to each other so Matt turned to face the blond. “Having a good time?” he asked her.

She nodded and smiled at him. His tie was crooked so she leaned forward and fixed it for him. Suddenly, her head was filled with a flashback of when they were in the bridal shop. Her hands froze on his tie for a split second and then she backed off and sat back in her seat.

Matt, noticing the change in her mood, asked if everything was okay.

She faked a smile and nodded. She was not going to have any “moments” with this boy; not tonight. She had to keep reminding herself that she was leaving tomorrow. This time tomorrow, she’d be on her way back to California. She wasn’t going to get attached to a few insignificant moments the two just happened to share tonight. She wasn’t going to do it.

**

Matt, who was standing at the front of the banquet hall with a small acoustic set up consisting of Alex and Zack, got the attention of the wedding guests. “Audrey, Brian, can you guys come out to the dance floor for your first dance?”

Kylie looked up at Matt and smiled. He had wanted to sing for Audrey himself for her first dance, but he had to dance with the rest of the wedding party. He, instead, convinced Alex to sing for his sister, sort of like a gift to her from both Alex and Matt. Alex had happily agreed. So now he and Zack were going to acoustically play Vegas Skies by the Cab for her.

“First of all,” he started with a smile, “I wanted to give you something special for your first dance. Alex and I debated between a ton of songs, some classic love songs and others newer. Then we finally decided on Vegas Skies. When I first listened to the song, I had thought it was about a breakup. But, it’s not. It’s about sometimes having to wait for the one you love, but in the end it’s worth it because you love them.”

Kylie looked over at Audrey while Matt was speaking and noticed the bride was crying. Listening to Matt talk, Kylie was on the verge of tears too.

“This song is perfect for you, Audrey. You had to wait for the one you love. You guys went through a rough patch, but now look where you are. You’re getting married, and you deserve to be as happy as Brian makes you.” Matt paused to take a deep breath and gather his thoughts, and then continued to say, “The bottom line is that love is real, and that’s what this song is about. I love you Drey, and I’m glad you’ve found someone who makes you happy.”

Everyone clapped after Matt finished, Kylie included. Who wouldn’t clap? It was a beautiful speech.

Zack started playing acoustic and suddenly, Alex’s voice started to flow throughout the hall.

“It’s twelve o’clock and I need your attention
It’s like the alcohol making my head spin
Your sent is the rum, the room is a bottle
Keeping me hopeless ‘till I wake tomorrow”

Kylie smiled from her spot at the table. “God, they look so happy,” she mumbled to herself. And they were happy; Audrey and Brian were like the poster couple for true love.

The two danced slowly, not a care in the world. Kylie could see clearly from her seat that Audrey was crying, which in turn made her want to cry. Kylie was like that; if someone was crying she felt like she had to join in.

After Alex got through the first two verses and the chorus, he quickly took a break in the song to tell the rest of the wedding party to join them out on the dance floor. Kylie scanned the wedding party for someone to dance with, and realized she had no one. She almost panicked, but Matt saved her. “Come on,” he said, sneaking up on her and grabbing her hand gently and pulling her up. She smiled at him, straightened out her navy dress, and followed him out onto the floor.

They arrived just in time for the next verse of the song. Kylie followed Matt’s lead as he put his arms around her waist and she put hers around his neck. She kept a safe proximity, even after Matt tried to pull her closer. She wasn’t going to get sucked in.

“All of these guards they stand tall and defensive
Putting up walls around what was once innocent
It wont let me in but I’m stronger than that
‘Cause you stole my eyes and I’ll never look back

Girl last night I forgot to mention
The way that I feel the way that I’ll remember this
When we’re this young we have nothing to lose
it is just a clock to beat and a hand to choose”

“I love this song,” she murmured to Matt.

“Yeah, I think it’s perfect for Audrey and Brian.” He looked at Kylie, her blonde hair cascading down her back in soft waves much like Audrey’s and the rest of the bridesmaids. She was wearing the navy dress from the fitting and a pair of silver heels. She had a little bit of makeup on, per Audrey’s request, and she was glowing. She seemed so happy, whether it was just the atmosphere of the wedding or the happiness she felt for her friends, Matt wasn’t sure. But one thing he did know was she looked gorgeous.

As Alex was finishing up the song, Kylie pulled slightly back from Matt. She looked him in the eye and smiled. “Hi,” she said, suddenly overwhelmed by their close proximity and by the fact that the first time they danced like this could technically have been considered their first date.

He smiled back at her. “Hey.” He too remembered their first dance. He remembered what she was wearing, how she smelled, how excited she was when the song they ended up dancing to came on over the speakers.

From where Audrey and Brian were dancing, the bride glanced at her brother. She smiled. “I win,” she whispered to her newlywed husband. “I win, I always win.”

He laughed, giving her a kiss. “I need to learn to not doubt you, ever.”

Alex finished the song beautifully and said into the mic, “Okay, now it’s time for everyone to come out and dance with someone special.”

Kylie and Matt were not fazed by this request. They didn’t stop dancing and they didn’t want to. They just continued dancing as the DJ put on another slow song. It wasn’t until someone tapped Matt’s shoulder lightly that they stopped. “Can I cut in?” It was Jade. She wanted to dance with her date, which wasn’t a huge request. But to Kylie, it was as big as the whole world.

The blonde pulled back quickly. Just like that, the spell was broken. She smiled at Jade and said, “Sure,” then turned and left. She wanted to scream obscenities and throw things and maybe punch someone. She had let her guard down again and let Matt in ever so slightly by letting him dance like that with her. “Something strong,” she requested. The bartender gave her a funny look, but she ignored it. He handed her a shot of vodka that she drank in about two seconds, and then went in search of her date for the evening.

Matt, meanwhile, danced with Jade. “Sorry I’ve been kind of MIA all night.”

She shrugged it off. “It’s ok, I understand. You have duties as a groomsman and I understand that. I just wanted to snag a dance with you at least once,” she smiled at him. “Although I feel a little bad because you and Kylie did look pretty cozy,” she joked with him, throwing him a smirk.

“Yeah,” he said, in a daze. He looked around the hall, wondering where she had ventured off to.

“She’s dancing with her date,” Jade told him. She felt bad for him because he was clearly in love with the girl, but he needed to either go after her or move on. It was as simple as that.

Embarrassed, he looked at her. “Sorry, it’s just…” he trailed off, unsure how to explain what was going on between he and the blonde. As he watched her dance with Jake, he felt a stab in his gut; Jake shouldn't be holding her so close. The only person who was allowed to do that was Matt, at least in his mind. It drove him crazy that Jake was that close to her and that she seemed to enjoy it.

“You love her,” she said simply, drawing Matt back in to their conversation.

He nodded, because it was one hundred percent true.

“But… what happened?”

“I broke her heart,” he told her simply.

“Well, Matt, you always have been a heartbreaker,” she laughed. “But you need to do something about this situation. Personally, if you broke her heart, I think you need to move on. She’s trying to get over you, so you need to respect that.”

Matt wanted to argue with her, but Jade didn’t give him the chance. “Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s just my opinion. For tonight though, I think you need to just let loose and have some fun. With me,” she told him, giving him a pointed look.

He nodded. Sure, he wanted Kylie to realize she missed him, but he couldn’t do that now. He needed to show her he could give her space. Jade was right. He was going to have a little fun tonight.