Destroyed by Your Lack of Sympathy
4 Oclock In The ***ing Morning
She forgave me, I was so overjoyed, but so tired, it was 4 am and I had been up for 24 hours straight. We tiptoed over to the bunk and fell asleep immediately, holding each other, I was hers and she was mine.
I started to drift off into a dream.
‘“Your not good enough, you were never good for anything!” it was my mom.
“I tried, honestly I did, she wouldn’t listen she wouldn’t stop!”
“Fuck that, it’s your fault she is dead, your fault she killed herself!”
“She was my best friend, and just because you don’t get to see her dad because he moved away to forget what happened doesn’t mean it’s my fault!” A slap, hard across my face.
“You whore, I never wanted you, I knew the doctor was right when he said I should have had an abortion. Pack your bags you scary little slut, and get the fuck out of my house.”
I went to my room and out all I could into one bag.
“I didn’t want to stay here with the woman who only let me live here because she was using me to get to my friends dad so she could fuck him.” A punch to the gut, and I fell.
"Leave, and don’t come back you stupid whore” A shove out the door. My bag over my shoulder I biked to the closest cheap apartment complex. I had a sleeping bag, some clothes, and a good paying job too. I could make it. What 16 years old couldn’t? Maia didn’t, she was with her father, she looked so happy, but only I knew she wasn’t. It took her jumping off the cliff to make everyone realize. I shivered on the floor of my one room apartment. It was small dark and dingy, It wasn’t all that new, me and Maia had been sleeping there most our lives, I lasted so long, so happy with the same thing everyday, just going to work going out to shows or getting stoned or laid. But after 6 years of it, I gave up. I decided to end it like Maia did the same cliff the same way. Walking up to ledge I thought over my life, the good and bad, all I really had was bad. I stood at the edge of the cliff arms spread like a bird, I felt light hitting my face, but a cold breeze made me shiver, my knees felt weak, so real, like the arm pulling me back.’
I screamed as I looked out, open space, I was on the ground, being held back from the edge by Amber, I looked to the sky, breathing heavy, a group of people surrounding me.
I started to drift off into a dream.
‘“Your not good enough, you were never good for anything!” it was my mom.
“I tried, honestly I did, she wouldn’t listen she wouldn’t stop!”
“Fuck that, it’s your fault she is dead, your fault she killed herself!”
“She was my best friend, and just because you don’t get to see her dad because he moved away to forget what happened doesn’t mean it’s my fault!” A slap, hard across my face.
“You whore, I never wanted you, I knew the doctor was right when he said I should have had an abortion. Pack your bags you scary little slut, and get the fuck out of my house.”
I went to my room and out all I could into one bag.
“I didn’t want to stay here with the woman who only let me live here because she was using me to get to my friends dad so she could fuck him.” A punch to the gut, and I fell.
"Leave, and don’t come back you stupid whore” A shove out the door. My bag over my shoulder I biked to the closest cheap apartment complex. I had a sleeping bag, some clothes, and a good paying job too. I could make it. What 16 years old couldn’t? Maia didn’t, she was with her father, she looked so happy, but only I knew she wasn’t. It took her jumping off the cliff to make everyone realize. I shivered on the floor of my one room apartment. It was small dark and dingy, It wasn’t all that new, me and Maia had been sleeping there most our lives, I lasted so long, so happy with the same thing everyday, just going to work going out to shows or getting stoned or laid. But after 6 years of it, I gave up. I decided to end it like Maia did the same cliff the same way. Walking up to ledge I thought over my life, the good and bad, all I really had was bad. I stood at the edge of the cliff arms spread like a bird, I felt light hitting my face, but a cold breeze made me shiver, my knees felt weak, so real, like the arm pulling me back.’
I screamed as I looked out, open space, I was on the ground, being held back from the edge by Amber, I looked to the sky, breathing heavy, a group of people surrounding me.