Destroyed by Your Lack of Sympathy
Whispered in my ear: I wanna f*cking tear you apar
My heart started to beat faster yet almost stop at the same time. I couldn't see- my eyes were blurring. "Shadow! Shadow, please! Fuck..."
I looked up, seeing someone on the phone. I couldn't even think. Suddenly, her words came back to me. I tried to do the same as Maia. A flower flashed in front of me and I failed. I couldn't do it. What if... No... She wouldn't do that to me! I cradled her head in my arms, crying softly. "Shadow..."
Not caring that the guys were running around trying to get help or shouting, [I couldn't hear them anyway- my whole world is laying on the pavement] I laid down next to her on the pavement. I grabbed her hand and began to sing to her softly.
"When I see your smile; tears run down my face. I can't replace. And now that I'm stronger I have figured out how this world turns cold and breaks through my soul and I know. I'll find deep inside me I can be the one."
I gulped and closed my eyes, praying this was some fucked up dream. It's so unfair... What made her want to leave me? "I will never let you fall- I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. It's okay..."
Is it okay? "It's okay..."
My heart is exploding. I'm going to be sick. I can barely keep singing. Please... Let her be okay? "It's okay. Cause seasons are changing and waves are crashing and stars are falling all for us. Days grow longer and nights grow shorter- I can show you I'll be the one."
An ambulance came riding up, two paramedics pulling out a stretcher. I didn't get up, I just watched through blurry eyes as she was taken away. I closed my eyes and screamed loudly to the sky- "Why?! You motherfucker! Why do you take everything from me?"
I sat up quickly and punched the sidewalk. I didn't even care when pain flared up from my ring finger and a crack resounded through the air. She's gone- she's hurt and she gone and I couldn't save her. I pulled my knees up to my chest and pressed my forehead against them, sobbing. I felt arms wrap themselves around me. Slowly, another pair of arms snaked their way around my waist. A third pair came, awkward yet strong. A fourth, and a fifth wrapped themselves around me. I heard a small, reassuring voice in my ear. "It's okay. She'll pull through, sugar."
I nod and whisper, "Thanks, Gerard..."
The guys let go of me and someone picked me up, carrying me back towards the busses. I looked up at them, white-blonde and cold, almost emotionless eyes staring down at me. Concern, worry, and slight anger showed on his face. "Gerard... What if she doesn't pull through? What if..."
I feel more tears roll down my cheeks. I feel someone take hold of one of my hands and Frank's voice say reassuringly, "Don't think about that. We're going to the hospital now."
----Time Lapse---
Gerard carried me gently into the waiting room. "Gee... I can walk... I'm okay..."
Gerard just smiled down at me gently and said, "You look devastated and you obviously can't see well through your tears. Just let someone take care of you for once, Amber."
I nod and lean my head against his shoulder, sighing. "If she goes, I go."
"...What?"
I repeat myself. Gerard looks down at me and whispers sadly, "She'll make it through... Don't talk like that."
Frank sighed softly. I realized for the first time since I was laying on the pavement with Shadow that... he was crying. I reached up and brushed my fingers against his face, smiling sadly. "It's all right Frankie... Please don't cry."
He shook his head. "I can't help it."
The guys all sat down, Gerard keeping me in his lap. Secretly, I was relieved for the comfort of his arms around me. I need the comfort. Bob looked over at me and sighed."It's okay Amber. She'll pull through... I hate seeing you like this."
He mumbled the last part so I could barely hear him. Mikey smacked him and hissed, "Stop being selfish Bob. Her girlfriend just landed herself in the hospital on a suicide attempt, in case you didn't notice."
Ray glared at Mikey. "Nice going, Way. Amber didn't know that..."
Mikey looked at me shock. "I'm so sorry... I didn't know you didn't know!"
Gerard looked angry again, a scowl making its way across his face. "I told her... Nothing's worth dying for. She has people who love her here."
I buried my face into Gerard's chest. I just want to disappear.
I looked up, seeing someone on the phone. I couldn't even think. Suddenly, her words came back to me. I tried to do the same as Maia. A flower flashed in front of me and I failed. I couldn't do it. What if... No... She wouldn't do that to me! I cradled her head in my arms, crying softly. "Shadow..."
Not caring that the guys were running around trying to get help or shouting, [I couldn't hear them anyway- my whole world is laying on the pavement] I laid down next to her on the pavement. I grabbed her hand and began to sing to her softly.
"When I see your smile; tears run down my face. I can't replace. And now that I'm stronger I have figured out how this world turns cold and breaks through my soul and I know. I'll find deep inside me I can be the one."
I gulped and closed my eyes, praying this was some fucked up dream. It's so unfair... What made her want to leave me? "I will never let you fall- I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. It's okay..."
Is it okay? "It's okay..."
My heart is exploding. I'm going to be sick. I can barely keep singing. Please... Let her be okay? "It's okay. Cause seasons are changing and waves are crashing and stars are falling all for us. Days grow longer and nights grow shorter- I can show you I'll be the one."
An ambulance came riding up, two paramedics pulling out a stretcher. I didn't get up, I just watched through blurry eyes as she was taken away. I closed my eyes and screamed loudly to the sky- "Why?! You motherfucker! Why do you take everything from me?"
I sat up quickly and punched the sidewalk. I didn't even care when pain flared up from my ring finger and a crack resounded through the air. She's gone- she's hurt and she gone and I couldn't save her. I pulled my knees up to my chest and pressed my forehead against them, sobbing. I felt arms wrap themselves around me. Slowly, another pair of arms snaked their way around my waist. A third pair came, awkward yet strong. A fourth, and a fifth wrapped themselves around me. I heard a small, reassuring voice in my ear. "It's okay. She'll pull through, sugar."
I nod and whisper, "Thanks, Gerard..."
The guys let go of me and someone picked me up, carrying me back towards the busses. I looked up at them, white-blonde and cold, almost emotionless eyes staring down at me. Concern, worry, and slight anger showed on his face. "Gerard... What if she doesn't pull through? What if..."
I feel more tears roll down my cheeks. I feel someone take hold of one of my hands and Frank's voice say reassuringly, "Don't think about that. We're going to the hospital now."
----Time Lapse---
Gerard carried me gently into the waiting room. "Gee... I can walk... I'm okay..."
Gerard just smiled down at me gently and said, "You look devastated and you obviously can't see well through your tears. Just let someone take care of you for once, Amber."
I nod and lean my head against his shoulder, sighing. "If she goes, I go."
"...What?"
I repeat myself. Gerard looks down at me and whispers sadly, "She'll make it through... Don't talk like that."
Frank sighed softly. I realized for the first time since I was laying on the pavement with Shadow that... he was crying. I reached up and brushed my fingers against his face, smiling sadly. "It's all right Frankie... Please don't cry."
He shook his head. "I can't help it."
The guys all sat down, Gerard keeping me in his lap. Secretly, I was relieved for the comfort of his arms around me. I need the comfort. Bob looked over at me and sighed."It's okay Amber. She'll pull through... I hate seeing you like this."
He mumbled the last part so I could barely hear him. Mikey smacked him and hissed, "Stop being selfish Bob. Her girlfriend just landed herself in the hospital on a suicide attempt, in case you didn't notice."
Ray glared at Mikey. "Nice going, Way. Amber didn't know that..."
Mikey looked at me shock. "I'm so sorry... I didn't know you didn't know!"
Gerard looked angry again, a scowl making its way across his face. "I told her... Nothing's worth dying for. She has people who love her here."
I buried my face into Gerard's chest. I just want to disappear.