Don't Blame Me for Being Me

The next morning I opened my eyes at 10 a.m. and began crawling from my blanket. I wanted drink so much. So I got up, threw on some clothes with no contemplating and shuffled into the kitchen.
The door of the living room was opened so I could see Ryan and Dasha who were watching TV. I greeted them and kept walking. In the kitchen I drank two cups of water at once and felt myself better. Standing the cup on a table I looked into a window and noticed that last night was very snowy, so there was much snow at the yard and at all. “Cool”, I thought and went back. Passing by the doorway of the lounge I dropped in there.
“Ryan, look into the window”, I asked him.
“For what? What did I not see there?” he was not completely awoken.
“Nothing. Just much snow”, I replied to his gloomy face and returned to my bedroom.
Brendon was sleeping yet. I lied down next to him and began waking him. I jolted him and then pulled his hand. No reaction. I raised myself by my elbow and began pulling his nose everywhere. He took my hand away from his nose and turned on another side. I laughed and pinched his ear. He was muttering something and I threw his blanket off. After some time of seeking it he sat up.
“Yessss! I woke you”, I yelled and threw myself on him.
We were lying about for some time joking and laughing with no obvious reason. And as louder we were laughing as the sound of tv in the lounge was becoming louder. After a while Bren suggested to watch tv too. There was ‘A shot at love with Tila Tequila’ as we could hear. So we came to Ryan and Dasha, moved their asses a little, sat down and watched that show. Then Walker came to us.
“People, good morning!” he greeted us rubbing his unshaven chin and cheeks.
“Good morning, Jon!” I exclaimed with unhidden love to this person and made the place for him to sit pushing away Brendon.
“Where’s Spence?” Dasha asked Jon.
“Sleeping”, he replied and eventually could sit.
“Why is he sleeping yet? We’re all wide awake. And he’s missing our morning get-together”, Dasha said about Spence after some minutes.
“So what? We don’t care. Let him sleep”, Ryan said displeased.
“He did nothing to sleep so late”, Dasha said.
“You and Ryan should adopt him”, Jon adviced her.
“Very cool, Jon”, Dasha and Ryan both replied immediately denying such away adopting Spence.
“Yeah, and Ira and me will adopt you”, Brendon said to Jon.
Jon smiled.
“I see you’re not against. But we-”, I showed at me and Bren, “won’t be allowed to adopt 23-years-old and bearded guy”, I said.
We laughed.
“No, I’ll go to wake him”, Dasha got up.
“I’ll go too. Just in case he won’t be glad to see you”, Ryan chuckled and they walked out.
“I saw that there’s much snow outside. How to get out of house?” Jon asked me.
“I think it’s easy. Use the door, Jon”, Brendon chuckled.
“What a smartass! So do try”, Jon snapped.
“Yeah, c’mon, Brendon, go and try”, I smiled knowing that, yeah, the door was locked by snow but a little bit and after some pressure we would be able to open it.
“So really there’s no exit?” Bren asked.
Suddenly Spence ran into the room with his pants in his hands.
“Oh, you’re up!” I exclaimed.
“Yeah, try not to wake up. They promised to thrust snow into my boxers”, he said with some offence to be awoken in time he didn’t wanna be awoken.
“Spence, you know the exit door is locked by snow. We can’t go out”, Brendon shared that horrible information with Spence.
“What?” Spence was on a half of his way to put on his pants. “call 911! We need to be unlocked!”
I laughed. Dasha and Ryan came back.
“While your rescues will be coming by helicopters here from your America this snow will fade itself”, I said. “In spring”.
Dasha and me laughed but boys got worried.
“So boys, you’re locked here, with us”, I joked.
“Yeah. You’ll cancel your shows, tours, lose tickets and money”, Dasha said with a sad face.
“Wolves will begin gathering into big packs and come close to human houses”, I said with horrible voice.
Boys were listening to us apprehensively. So Dasha and me kept joking.
“You’re afraid, yeah? Oh, we forgot, there’s a Polar Night soon. The sun will set down and rise only in April”, Dasha made them fear more.
“And there will be cold in the house ‘cause the firewood will finish. Hard winter lies ahead to us”, I added.
“Oh, there’re Belarusian and Slavic holidays soon. People in dirty and tattered dresses, with masks of bear or goat or fox and with flaming wheel and a sack will knock into our house!” Dasha talked about a real belarusian holiday Kalyady (it’s celebrated with rock concerts in Hills traditionally), but she exaggerated a little with aim to frighten boys finally.
“Into all of houses! Why are you so silent, sweeties? Pick up your sobs, they’ll turn into ice”, I said.
Dasha and me laughed.
“You lie”, Ryan said.
“You think so?” Dasha asked him.
“Prove it”, I simply suggested him.
“Just you lie”, he replied. “And poke fun at us and our little knowledge about Belarus”.
“People, don’t worry. Yeah, we joked a little. Spence, put on your pants eventually. Why are you standing dumb?” I laughed. “Why are you so afraid? You hadn’t seen so much snow at once? It’s not a problem. And the door opens easily. Spence, there’s no need to call 911. We’ll just remove this snow ourselves”, I explained them.
“What about the people with flaming wheel?” Jon asked not believing that all was joke.
Dasha and me laughed.
“I don’t get you, you wanna see them or not?” I asked him.
“Not quite”, he replied smiling.
“Ok, your meeting won’t happen”, we promised him.
“What about to eat?” Brendon asked looking at watches.
“I don’t know, may be there’s something from yesterday in a fridge”, I replied yawning.
“I don’t want ‘from yesterday’”, he whined jokingly.
“Fresh food is in your Vegas. Here you’ll eat ‘from yesterday’ even tomorrow”, I joked scowling and walked into the kitchen.
I heated up boiled potatoes, took some cucumbers and salads for boys and yoghurt for me and Dasha from the fridge. Yoghurt is a right food at mornings. So I returned into the lounge.
“You may go and eat, boys” I said extending the yoghurt and spoon to Dasha.
“I see you, girls, eat it again?” Jon asked with a shade of pity.
“Sure. We care about our bodies”, Dasha replied with a proud.
“Man, you’ve not yet seen a nourishing bran and ‘Slim tea’”, Ryan said.
We laughed.
“It doesn’t make you throw up?” he asked again.
I opened my box with yoghurt.
“This is the side of our lives you’ll never see”, I answered.
We laughed again.
“Boys, let’s go eat. I agreed to eat ‘from yesterday’ but I don’t wanna eat a cold one”, Bren got up.
“What were you doing last night that to wanna eat so much?” Spence asked.
I giggled.
“He was doing, Spence, he was doing”, I replied.
Boys walked into the kitchen shaking their heads with understanding xD. Dasha and me piled up sheets and blankets, took away pillows and sat to watch TV and to eat our miserable yoghurt.
*******************************************************************************
We dressed our boys warmer, directed them to the yard and gave them shovels. I began showing where each of them would dig.
“So, Jon and Ryan, you’ll shovel the way for dad’s car. He may come soon. Spence will make paths in the yard. Bren, your task is very responsible. You must shovel a main path to a road”, I said and was showing them the places.
“Ryan, work better, don’t frustrated me”, Dasha said.
“Everything’s for you. And even this”, he replied turning the shovel in his hands.
“Dasha, you have no pity to him”, I joked.
“Ira didn’t tell you, boys, about a pig in a shed?” she asked boys and laughed.
I understood that she want to play a joke on them again. I decided to play along.
“What a pig and what a shed?” Ross asked.
“Alive. Very much alive”, Dasha replied about the pig.
“The shed’s right behind you”, I showed that building.
“And the pig’s there”, Dasha joked. But they didn’t know that.
“And the shed is opened”, I added with mischief.
“So what?” Jon asked.
“You’re fool. If you work bad, this pig, this big, pink, wild and hungry pig will run after you”, I said with firm voice which was so truthful xD.
“And why we’re not hearing it grunting?” Brendon showed his knowledge.
“The pig’s sleeping”, Dasha found what to lie fastly.
“But it can be awoken, be careful”, I said.
“You’re lying, girls”, Spence said uncertainly.
“Really? So go ahead and prove it”, I suggested him.
Dasha and me smiled mysteriously and walked into the house wishing them ‘good luck’. We both were pretty sure that they believed us. We began watching from behind a window. They began choosing who go to the shed. They played rock, paper and scissors, and Ross walked to the shed. He carefully opened a door and looked there, then began getting to the building. But it had been empty for a long time ago. The rest of boys stood right before the door. May be they expected that pig would run out of there. Then we saw all of them came into and walked out again. They looked angry and irritated. Then boys noticed us into the window and showed that when they return, we will be hit. We fastly made our way to the house.
“Jerks. They’re ready to believe in everything”, I said.
“The most awful is that Ross came into the shed to check. He was very frightened, probably”, Dasha said worrying about him.
“He’s 22 years old. If he hasn’t seen a pig till now and wanna see it’s his problems”, I said not defending him. “I like when the rest of boys was standing in a doorway and wanted to protect Ross from invisible danger by their shovels. They wanted to kill that pig? It was not the right arms”, I chuckled.
“They didn’t have such adventures in America”, Dasha noticed right.
“Look, what if the pig existed? Ross comes into and after the moment he skips on the pig back along the yard!” I joked and we burst laughing for an half of an hour imagining and showing how Ryan could skipping.
Then we cleaned the house a little, made it ready for a evening bender and began cooking.
Then boys came back. They were all wet, red faced and tired and began undressing.
“Ryan, you were a real hero!” Dasha yelled from the kitchen.
“And you’re idiot. And Ira’s too”, he snapped.
I carefully walked to them.
“And why you were standing before the door with shovels? It was so funny!” I can’t deter myself from laughing.
“We wanted to kill that pig so it wouldn’t bother us”, Jon replied gloomy.
“The shovel is not the right weapon. You could ask knives for example”, I said.
“You could say this earlier”, Ross walked in the lounge and crashed on a chair.
Dasha came up and took a seat next to him. The rest of boys got into the room too.
“Are you crazy, Ryan? I thought you wouldn’t believe. How you could think that I let you come to a real pig?” Dasha began soothing him.
“What could I think? You were very truthful. I believed”, he simply replied. “We all believed”
“The fact that the pig is there doesn’t mean it’s need to go there and kill it. we just informed you”, I chuckled.
“Ss for me I’ve never seen a pig in real. I thought there was a large, awful animal!” Spence exclaimed.
“so why did YOU not come in there? If there’s some awful animal, you direct my boy?” Dasha was protecting Ross.
“Ryan, dear, when I imagined you on pig’s back…” I didn’t finish a sentence ‘cause I couldn’t.
Dasha and me laughed again.
“you know, Ry, this is not so bad. It’d be cool”, Brendon smiled.
“uhuh. Rodeo with a pig. That’s all I dreamed of”, Ryan smirked.
“Oh, you see how right we guessed”, Dasha cheered him.
“Why Jon is silent? He dreams of the rodeo too?” I asked.
“He dreams of a pig. Constantly”, Brendon joked and guffawed.
“I ask you not to talk about my sexual tastes, people”, he replied.
“My goodness, darling, why you were silent about this? Let’s go find you one” I joked.
“What mucks you’re talking about!”, Dasha knitted her brows.
“Ira is a vulgar girl at all”, Ryan exclaimed.
“You’re not the right one to talk about the level of my vulgarity”, I snapped jokingly.
“We’re intrigued. Who’s this man?” Jon joked.
“Guys! One not real pig brought so much joy!” Spence yelled.
Everybody laughed.
“I’ll go watch your work, boys”, I said walking out of the room.
“We’ll start arranging the dinner, okay?” Dasha asked.
“Sure”, I replied from a hallway putting on warm clothes.
I walked around the yard and shoveled some more places being there for a half of an hour. On a back way I took much more firewood than I usually do. So I got into the house with a little trouble and loud cursing and threw it out with an awful crash. I walked back my way to pick up what I accidentally dropped. It’s in my character to be extremely upset at myself when I fail or do something not the way I wanted. After undressing in the hallway I came into the kitchen to finish a dish I was making.
“When you’ll join us?” I heard Jon asking.
“Soon!” I yelled but my voice trembled as I was down and was cutting onions which was causing pinching tears to roll down.
“Hey”, I heard Brendon’s soft voice and felt his hand on my shoulder. “Everything’s okay?”
“Just fine”, I said and sniffed.
He turned me to face him and studied me.
“What? It’s just onion. It’s my normal reaction”, I smiled.
“Sorry for not helping you with the firewood”, he said.
“Nah. I just took too much. I’m the blame”, I said.
“But you were cursing us when you were passing by to the kitchen”, Brendon raised his eyebrows.
I let out a little laugh.
“Then I’m sorry”, I said.
“I’ll help you here. Tell me what to do”, he said looking around.
“Kiss me”, I grinned.