Don't Blame Me for Being Me

In the morning I woke up in awful mood. They (everybody except Dasha) made me get up. They wanted me to cook for them! Idiots! It was the reason to wake me at about 8 a.m.?! At first i refused them. I said that Jon’s face is wider than newspaper, Spence’s ass doesn’t climb into pants, Ryan’s slim no matter he’s fed or no. I refused to cook for Bren ‘cause he was an asshole last night. But it was impossible to fall asleep again. They were running around, skipping into my bed, shaking me when they saw I was trying to sleep, and buzzing and buzzing about their wish to eat. It was awful morning. I got up and dressed. I walked into the kitchen. They followed me like children after their mother. I revenged all of them. Pancakes I was doing was let burn “by chance”. But I’m a kind person and made another, a normal, food for them.
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Today we went to search for Spence’s gloves he has lost and besides we decided to have some skating. There was only one sledge. That’s why lovers of extreme were offered other stuff for skating such as a piece of plywood, two packages (one was tattered, another wasn’t) and one more thing – a special gadget made from plastic, with handle, having a shape of ass (just have a little likeness, don’t imagine something awful) and it’s very good means to skate from a hill. To the end everybody tested all of that. I had my own type of transport. It was small orange skies. They’re for children and clasp just to boots. But it’s still possible to use them. I put them on at home and had like a figure skating on the way to the hill.
We found Spence’s gloves. It was just already frozen pieces of cloth. It wasn’t been possible to put them on hands.
Jon moved down from the hill first. Boys saw him off with applause, laughing, and wiping off tears of laugh. Then we convinced Ross to sit into the sledge. I thought he just wanted to sit. But we pushed him from the hill. He cried out and then we saw him fastly moving down in the sledge. Dasha was squealing fearing for him. The others couldn’t help but laughing hard. Bren got a torn package. ‘Cause Spence was faster and took the safe one. So they skated almost together outrunning each other. Technically they skated their first time with no fear ‘cause Jon was waving at the foot of the hill showing he was alright. Some children gathered around watching how grown men occupied the hill and were skating at their asses guffawing. To be honestly I overvalued my skating abilities ‘cause I was afraid to skate down with my skies. But after someone’s jolt… (it was Jon as I found out later) so I was moving down fastly with no thoughts and trying to look as if I skated myself, not suddenly.
So there was the way we were skating. We were doing it by one, together or in chain either. The last one was the funniest. Ryan was first in chain, then there were Dasha, Spence, me, Bren and Jon. Children linked to us too. So after 5-7 metres of moving down our chain began collapsing. Ross and Dasha rushed aside into brushes. The rest of the chain broke in two. Children kept moving down with joyful yells. Spence and me stopped at all. The package we all were skating stayed only with Bren. that’s why he reached a bottom of hill as fast as a wind. And he got into a gully which was the ending of the hill. Jon didn’t leave children till the end.
So it was our skating. We were there till darkness. On our way to the house we tested all of snowdrift. After all we reached the house being wet and frozen (there was -100 outside and began colder to the evening. It was awful frost for boys). Not undressing I walked to take firewood, brought it into the house and set fire into the stove. It became warmer after a while. Boys complained they wanted to eat. Dasha and me sat them in the lounge, walked into the kitchen and made some food. We also took wine and vodka from a refrigerator and brought it to the boys. so another party started.
Dasha and me choose the music. It was belarusian band. Its songs are just awesome. We like it so much. So then we choose some sad and slow songs (we call them hearty) and some danceable ones, fast and loud. Boys grew to like both types. Especially after we translated them the lyrics. They liked one song. It’s titled “Sailor Pete”. Yeah, there’s such a name in Slavic countries too. It’s very funny song, about sailor-boy Pete who wanted to pick up some whore but she was too expensive for him. So after a couple of years they met again. He was a captain already, she was in dirty and tattered clothes, so she became cheaper. He won staying cold and indifferent to her. So such story. All of music instruments in that song are accordion and voice of singer. But it’s a masterpiece. My mother likes how I sing it.
So after listening to that song boys said that it was needed to show it to Pete Wentz. Dasha and me completely agreed nodding.
We were drinking cool, funny and various. I took a seat next to Ryan and began asking him “how are you”, “how it’s to live in the village”, etc. Dasha were clinking her glass with Jon’s ones and listening to his stories about girls (eventually). Bren was clicking songs. Spence was left by Dasha and picked by me. We crawled under the table for fun. We stole a bottle of vodka and were drinking it there with no glasses. I had to shove a snack into Spence’s mouth after he drank. He was “awesome” with cucumber being put out of his mouth. So in my free of that time I was pulling Bren’s or Ryan’s pants. Bren thought we called him and came down to us. We all were singing into belarusian. Spence learnt how it’s into belarusian “thank you” and “a pig”. Bren alleged he knows belarusian (and Russian and Ukrainian). Then I heard one amazing song, one of my favorite and fast ones. I rushed out under the table and grabbed Ryan to dance. We had a passionate and hot tango. A couple of times we fell on a floor and everybody helped us to get up. Dasha and Bren performed a kind of wild dance, mix of polka and rumba may be. Spence was watching all of it from under the table though he wanted to crawl outta there. And Jon was throwing pieces of food to him there. We were dancing a good half of an hour, may be more time. Then we calmed down a little bit, sat for a rest and drank of course. Like and after – dances - to the table – under the table (I’m about myself) – dances again. We decided not to go out for jumping into snowdrifts today. It was too much in the afternoon.
So we were drunken much…and I remember that we fell asleep on random places. In my view I was sleeping that night sitting at all. Spence wasn’t pulled out under the table. His legs were outta there but the rest of his body was under the table. Dasha occupied the couch, Ross established himself in some armchair cringing and folding himself. Bren sprawled at another armchair snoring. Somewhere above me. I don’t remember clearly whether Jon was in the room. May be he was out at all. So we fell asleep such a way I think. To the sound of music and crackling of firewood in the stove.
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I was woken by hit in my head. I fell on the floor.
“WHO?” I shouted hoarsely.
“WHAT?” Dasha yelled.
Bren fell down next to me. He forgot he had a sleep in the armchair.
“fuck”, he swore.
“where’s Ross? how much time is it?” Dasha jerked up.
“you hit me in the head, idiot”, I said to Bren.
“Uh? What head?” he asked sitting.
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t sit. To get up was above my then abilities. So I was just lying. Bren was standing on his fours trying to find his consciousness. I looked around the room. I saw someone’s legs near. I slammed them. Man who had those legs didn’t response and was lying under the table. I crawled there, to the top of the man. It was Spence. I began hugging and kissing him randomly because of elation to meet him in such unordinary place. He woke up from such tender. We began getting outta there.
“is there somebody alive?” Dasha asked loudly.
We three made some affirmative sound which caused to wake Ross. he sat straight in his chair standing his feet on the floor.
“morning”, he said with conviction and looked at the table.
I crawled on my fours to him and got up with his help.
“there…is… no somebody with us”, I said slowly looking around.
“let’s check on”, Ross suggested.
“yep”, I mumbled reeling.
There was a minute of silence. I helped Bren to get up. Spence moved at Bren’s armchair and collapse on it.
“somebody’s out”, I said again. “somebody one”.
“it’s Jon”, Spence said.
“yeah, somebody’s out”, I insisted again.
Eventually we all found out there was no Jon in the room. We cried for a couple of times “Jon!”. It was seemed to us we got a reply and we calmed down. After a half of an hour we felt ourselves better, quite normal. We could go and talk a little bit. After some else time we could speak much and with different intonations. Jon had slept on the stove. We began ignoring him and took offensive. Because he had a normal sleep and we were just rolling on the floor! He tried to excuse himself in our eyes. He said that perspective to sleep on the floor didn’t attract him.
To the afternoon we even could laugh and make conscious actions such as going, drinking water, changing clothes and brushing teeth.
Oh it was a hard morning…