Don't Blame Me for Being Me

Chapter 5
You know that football is my passion. But why you didn’t know that you’re my football?
So we’re together. Wow. Everything’s just wonderful as it can be possible. We amaze and surprise each other every day we spend together. I do it most of time. My first surprise to him was my work in Arsenal FC Service Staff in London (SS of one of English football club) and my acquaintance with some famous players. Some strong, tall and handsome soccers xD. The second surprise is my pretty good skills of playing football (I’ll tell football instead of soccer, okay? ‘cause I got used to). Yeah, I can play. I have a ball under my bed and when I have time I go out at my backyard and spend some time playing and kicking the ball. And yesterday Brendon found me with this occupation xD. He didn’t know what to say but “oh, nice shot” xD. It was pretty cute xD. So and the third surprise to him was my obsession with races of Formula 1. Yeah, I like to watch it. So, he understood what gift I am, what gift he has got. As much interesting gift as he is xD.
Some days we spent walking along the streets of LA downtown and getting in some trade centers, music and book stores . It was a way to find out each other, our fav things. So we were walking and eating ice-creams and small cakes we were buying everywhere xD. So it’s amazing time now. It’s just right time for the perfect relationships. He’s next to me the most time (as long as he can) and it doesn’t annoy me (‘cause Brendon can annoy people xD). I like him much. I like to be with him. One thing that makes me sad is coming time when he goes to his home in Las Vegas. I have a kind of phobia of this ‘cause of relationships with my first boyfriend (my first man…my first everything…Uh, later, readers). He’s from Russia and we’ve lived very far from each other and had met each other seldom. You know, it’s just some mockery when you see your beloved man only one time in two months… But I see Brendon much more often xD.
I found out that Bren influences my mind badly. My present sentimental way of thinking is annoying me a little. Why this is happening to my mind? i don’t know . So I can’t and don’t wanna hide that I’m happy.
I must confess that three weeks we’re dating were so interesting, cute and awesome at all. Each day is different from previous one. I don’t have the right to be bored. Oh, and one more reason for my sadness is Brendon’s jealousy. Just a little. But it exists. I hope I’ll manage it.
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Dasha, Ryan, Bren and me returned home after being in bowling club. We entered a living room laughing and recalling how funny Dasha and Ryan were throwing a bowling ball together xD. Ryan was about to fly away with that ball xD. In the club we’d divided ourselves in two teams and tried to win. Brendon always had made fun of Ryan and his way of playing. I don’t know why. In my view Ryan’d played pretty good. Brendon and I had stroke two times. Wow! To the end nobody had lost. The friendship’d won. So we’d had an awesome time!
We got into a lounge and crashed on a couch altogether.
“So does anyone wanna eat?” I asked trying lay my head on Brendon’s lap.
“No!” everybody yelled.
“Well, what does anyone want?” I asked and snuggled to Brendon.
“You guess what I want”, Bren whispered to me with a teasing smile.
“Really?” I said and smiled back. “You want to watch football at TV?”
I really have planned to do that.
“Yeah, I dream about it”, he replied ironically and looked like he was enormously upset.
“Well, Dash, where will you and Ry sleep? I wanna be here. To watch TV”, I asked Dasha.
“Ok, we’ll go to another room”, she replied.
“Wow, I’ll see your room eventually?” Ryan asked her.
“WAIT!” she said ironically.
We laughed.
I switched on TV and choose the right channel while Brendon was making Dasha and Ryan to go to their room xD. They were just laughing at him and I was trying to make up a bed for me and Bren while all of them running around xD. After finishing I lay on the couch and made a sound of TV louder.
“Hey, you two will get out soon?” I asked Dasha and Ryan.
“I guess never”, Brendon replied taking off his jacket.
They laughed and didn’t go anywhere.
“Honey, are you soon?” I asked Brendon with a joking impatience.
“She forces you to watch football?” Dasha asked Brendon. “It’s cruel, Ira!” she joked.
“Sure, but I have to make a real man from him”, it was a little rough joke from my side and I knew it.
But we laughed and then Dasha and Ryan went to a room for guests or something like this in our house. Bren took off his shirt (as I could guess ‘cause he was behind the couch), lay next to me and stared up.
“I don’t see TV. Trade places with me”, I said and raised myself on my elbow.
“Ok”, he said and didn’t move.
I began climbing over him but stopped and sat on top of him placing my hands on his chest. I looked at him. He turned his face away.
“You’re offended”, I said with smile. “Forgive me”.
“Don’t mind. It’s very pleasant to hear from my own girlfriend that I’m not a man”, he said and crossed his hands under his head demonstrably.
“Forgive me”, I said again.
“Your football started”, he said.
I looked at TV. Yeah, the match started. After some minutes I turned to Brendon again.
“Fuck it. I want you to forgive me. It was a joke. A bad joke, I know it”, I said trying to catch his look.
“Ira, don’t mind and look at your real men”, he showed at TV.
“Stop being fool, Brendon. I joked, I’m sorry. Is it not enough?” I bent down and lay my head on his shoulder.
I began listening to his breath. I was deep in thoughts. But I thought of something abstract and global. After some time I understood that he didn’t hug me or something. So it was the time of my offence. I got up abruptly and turned off TV.
“Will you say anything?” I asked him throwing the click on a table. I made an awful noise.
”Hey! Calm down, girl. What do you want?” he looked at me as if disturbed him very much.
“Anything!” I said and made my way to my bedroom that to take my nightshirt. I got into the room and began undressing. “Asshole. I said I’d joked. What’s else? I apologized. What does he wanna hear? Fuck him. Do what you want, Mr. Urie. I don’t care. I know it had been a bad joke. What’s else?” I was thinking. I put on my nightshirt and went down. Bren was sitting on the couch in front of TV and watching…my football.
“I don’t make you to watch it”, I said taking a seat near him.
“I know”.
“Really?” I pretended I was surprised.
He smirked.
“Someone scored while you were upstairs”, he said about the match on TV.
“Who?” I asked with a real interest.
“I don’t remember”
“Why’re you watching?” it was a very logical question
“Just because”, he mumbled.
“I wanna sleep. Turn off TV”, I said yawning.
“I will do what I want”, he said as if I was so meddlesome.
“So independent”, I smirked pulling his hair. “Peace?” I asked him.
“May be”, he said.
“Fuck you, Brendon. Don’t be a jerk. It’s annoying”, I said lying on the couch.
He turned to me.
“What do you want?” he asked with discontent voice.
“Nothing from you, thanks God”, I almost yelled getting up again. “I just don’t need a boyfriend without sense of humor”, I said and stroke him by my pillow.
“What the fuck, Ira?” he said and got up too.
“Nothing, man. Just I’m tired to apologize for not my fault. It’s your business if you don’t understand jokes!” I shouted at him.
“Fuck. One needs to understand what to joke about and what not!” he squeezed my hands ‘cause I wanted to strike him again.
“I don’t need to be taught! I don’t wanna see you”, I tore my hands from his ones and gave him a devilish glance.
“I don’t want it too”, he said and turned around.
I run upstairs in my room. Sure, he didn’t follow me. i managed to calm down and fell asleep. The next morning I found out he hadn’t spend that night in my house…