Don't Blame Me for Being Me

Chapter 55
Will you pop up again and be my "SPECIAL FRIEND" 'till the end? (I’m not good in being the fortunetelling lady)
I agreed with Bill that TAI bus and the guys would pick me up in Richmond. They were gonna have a show in Baltimore. Fall Out Boy wasn’t and went straight into next state – West Virginia. I just wanted to have a trip to Maryland and met The Academy Is… I left the most of my stuffs in FOB bus, of course, ‘cause I was gonna spend only a day and a night with TAI. So, with a bag with all my necessities I was sitting on a couch against reception and waiting for Bill. I don’t like waiting ‘cause I begin worrying thinking I’m late to a date or something goes wrong and etc. So that time wasn’t an exclusion. I was afraid to be left in that city ‘cause the FOB bus with the guys went away an hour ago xD. But in 8 a.m. my savior Bill came eventually. We hugged each other with a joy of meeting and walked out.
“To be honest it’s fucking early”, he said.
“Yeah, I know”, I replied. “I got used. Dasha and me often get up at 5 or 6 a.m. with Fall Out Boy and their excuse “we have to go”.
“Guys are still sleeping, so let’s be quiet”, he said.
We got into the TAI bus and it began driving ahead. Bill was right. The bus was full of quiet snoring. I placed my bag on a couch and sat down next to it. Bill took a seat against me.
“You’ll give me a free bunk for a night?” I asked.
“Fear, no. You’ll have to sleep with somebody”, he smiled.
“What? Are you kidding?”
“Sure, I’m kidding”, he smiled wider. “We have a free bunk. It’ll be yours tonight”.
I just smiled back in a sign of thankfulness.
“So how you’ve been?” I asked.
“Pretty well”, he replied.
And we began a conversation about how pretty well our lifes are going. Some time after we saw Mike Carden crawling out off his bunk and then coming to us. He had a very sleepy face and looked funny.
“Oh, it’s only you…It means I didn’t dream the voices”, he said and crashed on the couch next to me.
Bill and me smiled.
“Mike, it’s my friend Ira. She will be with us till tomorrow”, William told him.
Mike turned to me.
“Hey”, I said. “Sorry for waking you this early. I’m sure you had sweet dreams”.
He gave me a smile which alongside with his puffy morning face looked very sheepish xD. I curbed from giggling.
“Well, you’re welcome”, he said. “You’re welcome in our boys’ area”.
I laughed.
“You know you’re now only girl here?” Mike asked.
“Really?” I said being surprised and looked at Beckett.
He nodded laughing.
“Ooh, sounds dangerous”, Mike joked (I hoped xD).
“Depending”, I smiled to him mischievously.
“On what?” he asked with curiosity.
“On how much time you have this ‘only boys’ area”, I said.
Boys laughed.
“What if much time?” Mike asked.
“Well, there’s no way back to me, I can’t get out from here. So I’ll have to sleep in overcoat, not to take a shower, to look ugly and wear unpretty clothes, not to drink alcohol with you, to try smelling awful and to keep an eye on all of you”, I thought up such strategy xD.
Boys were laughing.
“Good plan”, Beckett stated.
“Hell, I like this girl”, Mike said and extended his hand to me. “Nice to meet you, really”.
Mike and me shaked our hands laughing and we all kept talking that funny. But after about ten minutes we heard somebody’s groaning which was coming from one of the bunks.
“Oh, we’ve awaken somebody else”, I said smiling to Beckett.
“WHO IS ASKING TO SMACK HIS FACE?” somebody shouted.
“It’s Sisky”, Bill sighed.
“Yeah, it’s fucking me! Why I don’t have a sleep in such time?!” we heard his voice closer and closer. “Because somebody’s having TOO MUCH loud fun!”
With those words he came out to us. And he was wearing only boxers xD. After seeing me he got stunned a little. I was trying to look as I didn’t care about his appearance.
“That’s I was talking about. Much time of boys’ area”, Mike said.
And then I couldn’t curb from laughing anymore xD. I bursted out with laughing propping my head to Mike’s shoulder. Beckett was laughing too as I could hear.
“Why I hadn’t been informed?” Adam asked seriously.
It only made me laugh harder. And he got no reply.
“Well, I’ll be in a minute”, he turned back and walked to bunks. “Guys! We have a girl in our bus, so be careful!” he exclaimed on his way to his bunk xD.
“It’s only you’re fool who couldn’t hear a girl’s voice”, we heard Chislett voice.
“Boys, I’m not against if you’ll make such mistake as Adam did”, I yelled loud enough to make them hear me.
Bill and Mike laughed. We heard voices from the bunks asking “what did you do, Sisky?” and laughing after getting his reply. Well, I was introduced to ‘boys’ area’ xD. After some minutes Chislett came to us. He wore a blue shirt and grey shorts.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Mike”, he extended his hand to me. “Too”, he added after seeing Carden next to me.
“I’m Ira. Nice to meet you. Too”, I replied while we were squeezing our hands.
He smiled and after a short chat with Bill and Mike left us for a shower. With words “where’s she? Where’s this girl?” Butcher ran to us.
“Well, it’s me”, I laughed.
“Ira, it’s our Butcher. Butcher, it’s my friend Ira”, William introduced us.
Butcher immediately took a seat next to me pushing Mike slightly away. boys laughed at him.
“You can even call me Andrew”, Butcher said taking my hand.
“Oh, I have a privilege?” I asked jokingly.
“Sure”, he replied.
“I’ll have much fun here, I feel it”, I said looking at William.
“You wished to be here, so…”, he smiled.
“Yeah, I know…I’m not complaining”, I replied and took my hand away from Butcher’s one.
Some time after I was introduced to others. There were three techs and TAI tour manager. Sisky wasn’t coming for introducing though. After usual morning tour actions everybody found an occupation for himself. Butcher believed that his occupation was to sit next to me and make me feel comfy there xD. We were talking and making fun drawing smth comic and odd in his sketchbook. Somebody was trying to find a food but nobody was trying to cook it xD. Beckett was speaking with Tony, tour manager. The rest of the guys were discussing something standing in front of a small TV which was in the bus, of course. Only Sisky was standing in a doorway of bunks’ area and looking at us. Butcher noticed it.
“Hey, Sisky! Why you’re standing there? Come to us! I’ll introduce you to my new amazing friend”, he said to Adam.
“I failed in front of the girl, shame on me. so I can’t come up”, Adam replied half-jokingly and half-serious.
“You consider as a shame your entrance in pajamas? Come on! She already forgot, I’m sure”, Butcher replied.
“He was in boxers”, I added.
“See? She remembers!” Sisky exclaimed.
“Hell, then it’s good for you”, Butcher said.
We all laughed.
“Haha, well, you’re right, man”, Sisky said.
“Come here, Adam. Take a seat with us”, I suggested him.
He came up smiling and sat down on the couch next to me. We were finally introduced to each other as well. Butcher kept entertain me and involved Sisky and Carden in it too. Well, I got a lot of fun. I talked about myself, of course. ‘Cause I was asked to xD. Well, somehow the conversation boiled down to cuisines of different countries. We all told stories about dishes each of us ate or tasted some time ago. it was funny and it made us feel spikes of hungry in our stomachs xD.
“What we have to eat, dudes?” Butcher first asked.
“We have to wait for a stop in some town that to have breakfast”, Tony replied to him.
“It means we have to starve? Fucking nice”, Sisky said.
“We didn’t have a time to buy something during previous stop”, Tony explained.
“Okay, okay. It’s not a big deal”, Sisky replied.
Michael got up and walked to a kitchen small area to check shelves.
“We have stale bread, some eggs, fish that looks suspiciously and unhealthy, milk also, some cucumbers and much potatoes”, he said and turned to us. “Why the hell we buy potatoes, if we don’t eat it anyway?” he asked.
Nobody had an answer.
“Well, I can cook for you, boys”, I offered my help.
“Really? It’s excellent!” Mike exclaimed.
“I need flour then and salt”, I got up.
“What you’ll cook?” Chislett asked.
“traditional dish of belarusian cuisine”, I replied. “Small pancakes from potatoes. And may be something else”.
My words gladdened boys. I began looking for flour and something what I can do a potato mass with. After opening another door of a shelf above the counter I found it. But I think it’d be so much better if I didn’t do it xD. Just I opened the door – the package with flour fell down on me. I was all in flour. It was on my hair, my face, my shirt xD. I began blinking that to see what was around me while boys began laughing. I turned to them wiping the flour off my eyes.
“Why it was so close to the exit?” I joked. “You do can’t cook!”
They were just laughing.
“Hell, who wants to kiss my flour lips, sweeties?” I joked and brushed some flour off my face into washbasin. “Where’s bathroom?”
“I’ll show you”, Carden got up and took my hand.
“Lead me there”, I corrected him. “And take my bag”.
He committed my ask and led me to the bathroom pushing carefully forward. He placed my bag on a floor and was meaning to go away.
“Wait, I need your help”, I said.
“Yeah?”
I gestured to him to close the door.
“Help me to take off my shirt”, I said with “is it convenient?” kind of face.
“oh, with a great pleasure”, he replied smiling and came closer.
No, I really wasn’t flirting to him. Just my hands were all in flour and I didn’t wanna make more stains on my poor shirt than there were. Well, he carefully took off my shirt and placed it on my bag.
“Oh, thanks”, I said after.
“Nice bra”, he stated smirking.
“You think so? Well, thanks”, I replied. “And you can go away, by the way”.
“Really? Fuck, well”, he made “it’s so good to be here” kind of face.
I laughed and closed the door after he walked out. Then I fastly washed my hair and face of course. After finding a towel there, I dried my hair a little and put on another shirt. The spoiled one was pulled in deep of my bag. And when I was ready I went to boys.
“You’re okay?” Bill asked.
“Yep”, I replied shortly. “I still must cook for you?”
“Sure!” Sisky said.
I came to a counter. Michael gave me potatoes. I made a mass from them and added flour and eggs and rubbed a bit of salt. Then I mixed all of it asked for a frying pan. When I got it from the guys, I began frying small pies of potato mass on the pan.
“We love people who cook for us” Sisky said.
I was standing in front of them.
“the way to man’s heart lies through his stomach, yeah, boys?” I asked jokingly.
“During a tour it’s absolutely true”, Michael replied.
I saw boys nodding their heads approvingly and smiling. When first portion was made it was immediately grabbed by Butcher who all that time was standing near me waiting for it.
“Share with guys! You, stingy”, I said when he ran away with the plate and laughed looking how funny he began eating trying to hide the food from the others. “It’s damn better with a sour cream”, I said.
Well, talking and cooking I finally made a huge pile of potato pancakes called draniki in Belarus. But it ended soon. Boys were eating with a great pleasure. I made an order at and cleaned the table. Then I sat down on the couch next to guys who were still eating.
“I’ll marry you”, Butcher said half-serious. “Someday I’ll do it”, he added with a full mouth of food.
I bursted out laughing. Guys were smiling at him.
“Because of cooking?” Adam asked straight.
I looked at Butcher.
“Cause of cooking this fucking delicious”, he replied putting another pie into his pie.
“Actually, he’s right”, Mike said.
“Yeah, may be you’ll stay with us longer?” Will said.
“No, guys. You’ll return me to Fall Out Boy”, I smiled. “They’re like home to me”.
“We’ll return you anyway, but when…it’s another question”, Adam made a gangster face xD.
I smiled.
“Well, when we are planned to arrive in Baltimore?” I asked.
“In some hours. Soon”, Tony replied.
“Can I be backstage?” I asked.
“I think it’s possible. Yeah, Tony?” Will said.
Tony nodded.
“Any party after show?” Will asked me.
“One girl and bunch of drunken men? You’re crazy?” I said.
“We heard so much about benders Bill had with you, your friend and other bands”, Chislett said.
“And we wanna be there too”, Butcher added.
I look around all of them.
“You’re serious? I should organize you your own free time?” I smiled and glanced at Adam.
He nodded.
“It’d be cool”, Mike said.
“I’ll think about it”, I sighed.
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Well, kinda such a way we came to Baltimore. After getting hotel rooms guys went to the concert hall for sound check. As they promised, I followed them. When we arrived there and got out from a car, I saw name Placebo and tonight’s date on the venue.
“You didn’t tell me Placebo will be with you, guys”, I said on our way to dressing rooms.
“Oh, we kinda forgot”, Butcher replied.
“Yeah, there’s really nothing to remember”, I smirked ironically.
He grinned at me.
Well, we all were in an empty hall. Placebo was scheduled to come for sound check soon as their performance will be next after TAI. I was roaming at backstage along with Bill who was free after usual warm-up and checking his own vocals. Other guys were busy with guitars, drums and another equipment. I was wandering, taking pics and talking to the guys occasionally. I even helped Butcher and his drum tech Mike to check drum sounding. I was let for beating! After checking I spent some minutes beating the drums as well. It was funny for everyone though xD. Wasting time doing nothing we waited for Placebo’s arrival. They all walked at the stage for greeting us. And I couldn’t believe my own eyes when I saw a girl walking with them. It was my friend from Belarus. It was Polina.
We had studied together for a year in Belarus, in my hometown. Then I’d left for London and actually I’d lost the contacts with her. I’d had another phone number and probably she’d changed her one. But, fuck, we’d had fucking amazing time together. We’d met each other at our first year of studying. We both have had same interests and much of similar points of view. We’d got along pretty well sharing secrets and jokes, fun and other girls’ stuff xD.
So, standing on the stage of some venue in Baltimore, in USA, in so many goddamn miles away from homeland and through two years I couldn’t believe I saw Polina. When our eyes met, they, at first, got wide and we were staring at each other for a minute. We both were realizing we really saw each other xD. And when I understood it was Polina and when she understood it was me, Ira, we immediately rushed to and enveloped each other in a tight embrace.
“Oh, fuck, it’s impossible”, I said in Russian to her.
“DAMN, it’s you!!!!”, she replied in Russian too.