Don't Blame Me for Being Me

Chapter 62
It hurts remembering, don’t help. You can't be too caring anymore (I’m trying hard not to be ashamed)
The early morning fastly turned into a normal morning. I was awaken by a loud knocking on a bedroom door and Dasha’s arguing with somebody. And that “somebody” was obviously Andy. I groaned and passed to the door dressing on the way there. I had to open and see Andy who immediately watched me over from toes to top. He glanced into the room weighing up a situation inside.
“Uhuh”, he said and gave me a look that could freeze a fire.
I shrugged my shoulders and came into a lounge closing the door behind me. I noticed Dasha was with William sitting on a couch. Apparently they hadn’t anything intimate just spending last hours of the party here talking.
“You need to go catch your train. I’ll take you there”, Andy said with no expression.
“Why not Pete and Joe?” Dasha asked without thinking and snickered nervously.
“And why not Bill and…who’s sleeping there?.. Barakat? And to where did you put your Iero? Where’s he?” Andy asked us.
“Okay, you’ll take us to our train. I don’t care”, I said guessing this ride will be no pleasure to Dasha and me.
“I have your tickets. Get ready. I’ll wait in the corridor”, he updated us with this information and walked out.
“Assss”, Dasha and me sighed out.
I eventually greeted Will who gave me a shiny smile.
“Last nice thing for this morning”, I thought and returned into the bedroom.
I ended my dressing up, then awoke Jack and almost dressed him up too. He was sleepy much but could understand we were gonna say good byes in some minutes. Also I was glad he remembered who I am xD. He grabbed Bill and after hugging farewell they both left the room. Dasha and me got our packed cases and bags to the lounge and sat down on the couch with aim to put some make up. We looked puffed and crumpled and it was scaring us xD.
“Have no time for it. Grab your stuffs and move towards the exit”, we heard Andy’s voice.
He was standing in a doorway holding the door while Dasha and me walked out with cases in hands and bags hanging on shoulders. I glanced last time at our room making sure we didn’t forget anything and locked it. Andy was already near an elevator holding it for us too. Dasha and me speeded up our walk and got into there. I added nothing to my last night’s outfit, so hangover and cold air around gave me a shiver soon. Dasha was ready to fall asleep on her way. Andy was expressing his own disgust about our awful smell. Speaking in general, many things in us were causing his discontent. We caught taxi and, as I said before, this ride was nothing pleasant to Dasha and me.
“I’m feeling sick to ride with you two in one car”, Andy said after a little pause.
“Get out and end your suffering”, I replied gloomy.
“Why are you sick? Of us? Explain, please”, Dasha said.
“Because you lost your last honor and credit! You drank it away. Made fools from Pete and Joe”, Andy “explained”.
“It’s not my fault that Trohman’s an idiot”, I replied smiling at memories from last night.
“If I allowed myself to drink, I made a fool from Pete?” Dasha asked.
“That you two let yourselves to drink, as you call it, is not the most awful thing in your behavior”, Andy continued as if Dasha said nothing. “Ok, I’ve known about Iero, but these two!” he obviously talked about Jack and Bill.
“What Iero?!” I didn’t agree.
“What these two?” Dasha argued with that part.
“That you fought for your common lover is a redundant proof”, Andy said just floating in his self-satisfaction as he looked at our jaw-dropped faces.
Dasha and me glanced at each other.
“We fought?” I asked.
“You beat a girl, Jane, after she said she liked Iero”, Andy said.
It only made Dasha and my faces look more quizzical. I started remembering or at least trying to do it.
**********flash back**********
I saw Jane, a nice brown-haired girl, crashing on a couch next to me. She gave me a smile and I smiled back.
“How’re you?” I asked her over a noise of the room.
“Oh, fine!” she leaned closer. “Girls, you’re amazing!”
“Thanks”, I said and we clinked our glasses.
“I like Frankie so much. He adores me. We danced”, she told me.
Somehow an amount of alcohol I drank hit my head. I was deeply offended by the fact Jane likes Frank. ‘Cause he’s my friend and had attempts to adore ME. But instead of silently mulling it over, I bursted out.
“You think just a dance with you can adore him? Keep your hands off his body! He’s not for you, gal!” I said loudly and slurring.
Jane was watching at me with a crazy look.
Now I can understand her, but then…
*******Soundtrack – “Cut me up, Jenny” by Taking Back Sunday*******
I called Dasha loudly and got up.
“She wanna be with Frank, Dasha! With our Frank!” I was talking into Russian (thanks, Lord) and pointing at Jane.
Meaning of Dasha’s words being addressed to Jane but spoken in Russian was similar to mine. Dasha and me were insulting the girl we called our friend five minutes ago. Shame on us. But Jane wasn’t gonna just to swallow our rudeness. She stood for herself very well. I don’t wanna recall all of our insults we three were awarding each other. It was offensive, vulgar, rough and nothing special. I don’t remember who was first to punch whom. I just remember Jane who grabbed my hair, Dasha doing the same with Jane’s hair and me trying to tear apart Jane’s hands from my hair and grazing her face. The fight wasn’t too long ‘cause we were grabbed away from each other by some of boys. Standing aside and calming down (it was quick xD), I saw Jane walking with Ray into a bathroom. She had a blood under her nose.
“Nice punch”, I heard Bob’s voice near me.
I looked at him.
“What?” I asked not getting him.
“You have a good punch”, he said. “You hit her hard”.
I immediately stared at my hands. There were small marks of blood. Not mine or Dasha’s of course, so it was me who hit the girl. I snickered uncertainly, not knowing what to do – be glad I fended for myself or feel embarrassed I punch people being drunk.
“School of my dad”, I replied.
Dasha laughed standing near and making order with her hairdo. And of course we soon saw Frank in front of us with a wide smile on his lips.
“Girls, you were fighting for me!” he was apparently glad of that fact.
Dasha and me gave him gloomy glares.
“I’m just fucking in awe”, he replied to them.
***end of flash back***
“You recalled?” I asked Dasha cheerlessly.
“Kinda”, she replied with the same tone.
“Well, this night was … eventful”, I spoke.
“Kinda”, Dasha repeated.
“I hope you have a shame still and you feel… embarrassment at least!” Andy said. “Though I deeply doubt it’s so. This morning…this morning I could expect anything, but foursome!”
“Did you fucking lose your mind, Andy?” I asked him loudly.
“I had nothing with Becket. Why am I always an object of your crazy suspicions?” Dasha asked. “Why do you think I slept with him? For what I should sleep with him? He saw me off to my room and we have been talking. Just talking. And if you didn’t notice may be, he was dressed up”.
“How do I know? He opened a door for me. He could dressed up before. He should. I know that I found naked Barakat”, Andy said and looked at me.
“So what? It’s forbidden for naked Barakat to be with me? Want more info? I was naked too. He liked that. I liked that”, I replied.
Andy grimaced.
“Andy, remember two simple things. First – Trohman an me are NOT together, so stop finding signs of my “cheating” to him. I can be with whomever I want. Second – Dasha didn’t sleep with Becket”, I said so firmly as I could.
Andy looked at us frowning his brows, fell in silence and turned away.
“Don’t even to dare to blab about your crazy fantasies to Pete. It’s just your sick mind. You saw nothing between Bill and me because we had nothing. It’s not your mission to spoil Pete and my relationships”, Dasha said to Andy.
“Bill can say himself he slept with you. To let Pete know who are you”, Andy said with clenched teeth.
“So who I am? Say it as you’ve began!” Dasha was in anger. “Who I am, mr. i-know-everything?”
“I don’t know everything”, he mumbled. “But I know that a girl who cheats and fuck around is a whore”.
Dasha looked speechless and was obviously offended. I was shocked by Andy.
“It’s you”, she spoke. “You, who are whore”.
“Cheap and bitchy”, I added. “Give us OUR tickets WE booked and get out of the car”, I said with a steel voice. “I don’t allow anybody to insult me. We’re tired to be a permanent object of your suspicions, your evil glances and unfair accusations. How far you can go with this shit? We’re normal girls. What did we do to you?”
“I don’t like injustice”, he replied calmly.
“It’s part of your straight-age bullshit?” Dasha asked mocking.
He gave us another evil glare, but we weren’t scared at all. We felt we were fending for ourselves.
“Joe and Pete like you, I have to hang with you”, he said. “And I feel I will have to”.
“We will have to”, Dasha and me ended.
“Well, are you over with this shit? It’s the first time I drive such scandalous persons. I’ve began forgetting where I must take you to”, our driver said.
“Just look at the road and don’t listen”, Andy snapped to him.
“And you just stop fucking cursing these nice girls. They’re young and pretty. They want to live free. It’s not your business, daddy”, the driver replied.
Dasha and me bursted out in a laughter mentally thanking this man.
“Cut it and listen to adult men. Youth is a damn good thing, but in a couple with moderation. So that’s why open side windows – there’s nothing to breath inside. I see that you two didn’t know about any moderation last night”, the driver said to Dasha and me.
We nodded and felt ourselves that he didn’t lie about the air inside. We opened the windows and moved our faces towards streams of fresh air. I held my vanity-case in my hands the whole way, but I surely didn’t wanna put on any make up under Andy’s glances. I was observing myself and came to the next – I need to change clothes somehow in airport WC and brush my hair as soon as possible. The rest of the ride we all were keeping the silence. And nothing interrupted it. I was enormously glad to get out of the car when we finally reached Indianapolis railway station. Andy gave us our tickets, we grabbed our stuffs and said byes to him (a proof we’re nice girls as the driver said xD). He nodded his head farewell and went for taxi. Dasha and me looked at the tickets to find out time of departure – 8.20 a.m. We glanced at our watches – it was only 6.40 a.m.! What we’ll do there for an hour and more?! We were cursing Andy with the last words xD.