Don't Blame Me for Being Me
Chapter 64 Is our secret safe tonight and are we out of sight?
Chapter 64
Is our secret safe tonight and are we out of sight? (Why do we put ourselves in these situations?)
At 11 p.m. the band returned. As Dasha and me gave up on everything and slept the whole evening – something we couldn’t afford for a long time – we invited guys to go to the swimming pool. We went there first, as Bob, Mikey and Gerard joined us later.
There were not much people in such late time. And after some minutes we even were alone in the pool. Bob and Dasha were making much noise and just a chaos in water by splashing each other. So I was quietly swimming pretty far from them with Mikey who was near. Then he got involved in Bob and Dasha’s game and I decided to go out. ‘Cause they three were filling the whole pool xD. When I was getting out I met Gerard who handed me a towel.
“Thank you”, I said standing in from of him and wrapping the towel around my waist.
“Already out?” he asked me in his blue boyshorts.
“No! You won’t take me!” we heard a deafening scream of Dasha and then a loud laughter.
“I understand why”, Gerard smirked.
I smiled nodding. But noises of our rowdy friends didn’t scare him as much as me. So I was left alone on…a bank watching them all jumping and diving in, swimming and splashing, running and chasing each other. Well, I was waiting for them to get tired. I sat on the edge of the pool wrapping my towel around my shoulders and swinging my feet in the water. At the same time guys began “chicken fight”. Dasha was atop of Bob and Gerard was on Mikey’s shoulders. I was laughing all the way of their “fight”. It was such a sight to see! Being so high and meant to push Gerard, Dasha got scared suddenly. She was asking Bob to run away and take her down, while he was walking towards Mikey and Gerard was trying to pull Dasha down. But after accidentally crashing into the water himself, Gerard had to see a victory dance performed by Dasha and Bob xD. So they all finally got separated and began just swimming ordinary. Gerard floated to me.
“It was hilarious!” I said.
“It’s not my fault! Mikey’s not a very reliable holder”, he excused himself grinning.
I just kept silence looking at him with a smile.
“Why you didn’t join us?” he asked taking a seat next to me (and that surprised me).
“I don’t like such an activity on water”, I replied.
And I meant it. I swim very carefully and I think I have a fear of a depth xD.
“I’m not a good swimmer and swim despite all fears I have”, I smirked.
“Clear. What you were doing all day long?” he asked.
“Jacuzzi and champagne”, I grinned looking at him. “And then we just fell asleep till 10 p.m. And how your show was?”
“Good as usual. It was a small venue and we liked it for a difference. Just the band, the songs and the fans”, he replied.
We were interrupted by Bob who swam up to us and grabbed my legs. I squealed catching Gerard’s arm or whatever to keep myself on the edge. But Bob strongly pulled me down wrapping his arms around my knees. And we all were in water. I was holding on Bob, cursing him and beating his chest. It all caused a new wave of crazy games and splashes. But now Gerard and me were in one team. Actually we were all going on Bob who was beating off of us and simultaneously making fun of me or Dasha xD. After some time she walked out of the water and established herself on the edge of the pool drinking a glass of juice. Bob and Mikey began jumping from high spring-boards. And somehow two big waves they caused got me underwater. Trying to come for air, I was caught and pulled up by Gerard.
“You’re okay?” he asked me while I was coughing out the water from my throat.
I nodded holding on him strongly as we found a safe place. After short time I was completely okay (I was just some seconds under the surface), but still in Gerard’s arms. I thanked him finally looking into his eyes. His glance was drawn to my face. I couldn’t believe he was amazed by drops of water falling down from a tip of my nose xD.
“You’re welcome”, he said and almost not noticeably pulled me closer to him.
Somehow I heard only us, not sounds of splashing water or our friends’ voices. I looked down at the spot where my breasts in a swimming suit were touching his pale chest. Every my or his breath were causing more intense contact. We were together in water again xD. And it felt comfy.
“I’d better get out”, I finally said floating away from him.
After finding my towel and stuff, I began gathering along with Dasha as Bob walked up.
“I’ve not checked the Jacuzzi bath yet”, he said.
“Now?” Dasha asked.
“When else? We’re leaving in the next morning”, he replied.
“Of course, you can take the bath, Bob. You, guys, pay for this room. You can do everything you want”, I said.
“We don’t mean to bother you”, Mikey came up. “If you wanna sleep…”
Dasha and me laughed lightly.
“Dude, they slept the whole day while we were at the venue”, Gerard replied to their questionable looks and winked at me.
“Then you can be up all night. It’s great!” Bob exclaimed joyfully.
“You can occupy our bath, but then we’ll take showers in your room”, I advanced a condition.
“I agree, if you’re not against of two techs’ presence”, Bob smirked.
I frowned my eyebrows.
“Whose room is empty?” I asked.
“Ours”, Mikey and Gerard both said.
I sighed deeply.
*************************************************************************************
Being dressed in my night apparel and wrapped in a bathrobe and leaving Dasha in the guys’ room to take a shower next, I returned in that huge posh suite where I found Frank, Gerard and Mikey.
“We’re just waiting for Bob. He’s in the bathroom”, Mikey answered to my surprised look.
“I see. Frank even gave up on a sleep”, I said.
Frank grinned.
“We’re hanging out here. Wanna pick a movie?” he asked.
Oh, we’re gonna watch a movie tonight. Well, anyway I don’t wanna sleep.
“No. You do this, boys. Just let’s watch something funny”, I replied and went to my bedroom leaving the door open.
Entering it, I heard Bob’s singing “Pretty Woman”. Firstly I laughed enormously, then came up to the bathroom door.
“Bob, sweetie, you’re a great drummer! Leave a vocal part for Gerard! He does it good actually!” I yelled loud enough for him to hear.
We all laughed at the situation as Bob was singing even louder. I shook my head taking my laptop and bringing it to the living room. I took a seat between Frank and Gerard opening a browser. First of all I intended to check my e-mail. Simultaneously speaking with guys I opened a letter from my bro. And it contained a very good news. I couldn’t curb from a little squeal. I was grinning like an idiot and clapping my hands.
“This is amazing! This is fucking awesome! This is great!” I was almost yelling.
While the rest of the guys was asking what was so “fucking awesome”, a smart Gerard just read the letter itself and found a reason of my elated state. And we together explained to the guys that my bro was accepted to the Arsenal Youth Academy (Youth Academy of English FC Arsenal, London). His dreams came true, my hopes for his future came true. I’m sure all our family are happy for him now. Me exactly. Guys gave me hugs and said congratulations telling me to send them to my brother. So I finally settled down and tried to type a reply. But then Dasha returned and I got excited again telling her those good news xD. After some minutes of non-stop talking I calmed down myself again. I even typed “I’m so happy for ya”. But then Bob came out from the bathroom.
“Bob! I’ve got so great news from my brother!” I yelled rushing to him xD.
Well, guys ordered some Chinese food and picked a movie. We all agreed on watching Home Alone. No matter how many times we’ve seen it, it’s always worth of watching again. Dasha was sitting in an arm-chair giving herself a manicure. Bob and Frank were on a comfy sofa while Gerard, Frank and me were occupying a couch. Before the funniest things in the movie didn’t started I finally ended a letter to my bro and wrote one more to Cesc. Pretty sure they two would contact soon. Then I rested my head on Gerard’s shoulder. Actually I didn’t leave it till the end of the movie. And it felt so good and naturally. After realizing it and admitting to myself that it was comfy, I finally relaxed bringing all consuming me thoughts to the back of my mind. Well, laughing when the film was funny and being quiet when it was serious, we all ended our movie-night. Boys left our room and Dasha and me crashed on our king-sized bed. At around 3 a.m.
*************************************************************************************
The next morning started for us with my ringing mobile. I jumped out from the bed rushing to pick it up. The display showed me it was Frank.
“Fuck you, man! It’s too fucking early! What do you want?” I wasn’t very polite.
“Open the door. We’re here. We ordered a big breakfast into your room. For all of us. Sorry”, he updated me.
I threw my phone on the bed, told Dasha to got up and dragged my sleepy body in oversized ‘I Love NY’ tee and red matching boxers to the door. I let Frank, Mikey, Gerard, Bob and Ray inside.
“Feel yourselves like at home”, I mumbled and crashed on a sofa.
“Sorry for waking you up, but this breakfast will make you feel definitely better”, Mikey said.
I smiled to him noting he was the one to apologize for their early visit.
“I hope. When we’re leaving?” I asked whoever would answer me.
“In three hours”, Gerard replied. “And in some more hours you’ll see Chicago”.
“The main problem is NOT to see or to BE SEEN by Fall Out Boy”, Dasha said coming into a living room.
But we all said to her to put her worries away. Soon our breakfast arrived and I must say that guys were right. Firstly, it consisted of so much food – fruits, toasts, different kinds of juices (boys didn’t know what ones Dasha and me like xD), omelet, beefsteak, a few salads, even a chocolate pie. And guys couldn’t resist to order a bottle of champagne xD. Oh, and coffee, of course. I liked that breakfast. Not only because of that amount and variety in food, but ‘cause it was warm and a lot of fun. Nobody wanted to end it for a leaving for another city, even for such a fabulous city as Chicago. Though Bob was glad to be home for a day, naturally.
*************************************************************************************
A hearty farewell scene between My Chem and us was spent in their bus when we were already in the city. ‘Cause Dasha and I didn’t wanna loose any minute after arriving. We were supposed to take our bags and suitcases, catch a taxi and head to Chicago’s O'Hare. So when we all arrived at a venue’s parking lot, boys said goodbyes to us once more and left for the arena. Pulling our stuffs from a luggage sector of the bus Dasha and me couldn’t see that Patrick, Pete, Joe and Andy were behind us and were watching us with a big curiosity. When Dasha and me turned to rush for a taxi with bags and suitcases in our hands, we faced them. My heart skipped a beat and I’m pretty sure Dasha’s one did too. She even dropped her suitcase on a ground.
“Fuck, it’s impossible”, I said not loudly.
“Fucking lucky me”, Dasha whispered.
Pete walked up to us taking big and wide steps.
“What does it mean?” he asked looking directly at Dasha.
The rest of the boys slowly and carefully came up too, being followed by Andy – a person I’d prefer to meet after a very long time.
“Oh, Ira! I thought we wouldn’t see each other again”, Trohman said joyfully.
He obviously didn’t sense a tension in our atmosphere…
“You’re more cunning than I thought”, Andy spoke with a strict look on his face.
“What happened? We thought you were at home already”, Pat said.
“I ask once again. What the fuck on the earth does it mean?” Pete’s voice was louder now.
“Nothing extraordinary”, I replied as Dasha was speechless. “We had been in Indianapolis, at that train station. And we felt ourselves bad and miserable. Then Bob called. He was checking how we were. He was worrying about us. Unlike you. Nobody from you standing here called us to ask about our state then. I even got a call from Gabe and Butcher. Well, Bob suggested to save our money and to ride with MCR to Chicago”, I explained leaving behind some details. Many of them.
“We kinda have a tour bus too. And we didn’t kick you out”, Pat reasoned.
“We know. But in that morning Bob had such an idea. And we decided to spend some time with them instead of jolting in a train”, I replied.
“Pete, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I was with them. Firstly, I didn’t know how to tell you that and then my phone stopped working without any obvious reason”, Dasha said.
“How convenient!” Andy smirked. “I’ll go away – I can’t listen to these lies and bullshit”.
“We’re saying a truth!” Dasha and me protested.
“Yep. And I’m the English Queen”, he said with an irony.
Dasha gave him a killing glare but it didn’t hinder him to go away. At the same time Pete pulled Dasha aside for talking. So Pat, Joe and me watched as Dasha left her luggage beside me and followed Pete to the behind of MCR bus. I could say by her facial expression that she was scared of what was going to happen next. I blinked slowly hoping everything would be okay.
“So did you have a good trip? As I know My Chem schedule, they was supposed to be in Detroit yesterday”, Patrick said.
“Yes. We were there. Detroit was good”, I replied. “We had fun and had time to sleep our asses off. So now I feel myself fresh and nice”, I added watching Pat smiling.
“Oh really?” Joe smirked.
I turned my head to him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked him curling my lips. “That we slept with THE WHOLE fucking band?! They are our friends. As much as yours. They’re male but they’re still friends. The same like Spencer Smith is our friend, Jon is our friend, Patrick is our friend”, I said gradually losing my patience for that day.
“And you were kissing him”, Joe recalled.
I closed my eyes for a moment at this reminder.
“And I’d said sorry, right, Pat?” I said.
He nodded smiling.
“We’re friends, too”, Joe asked quietly.
“Yeah. And you’ve had no sexual thoughts about me. ‘Cause it’s normal for a friendship. So why other my friends should?” I asked him.
“But we-“, he spoke meaning to discuss our making-out some nights later.
“Don’t!” I stopped him. “This was just my revenge. As for you, it wasn’t that you wanted”.
Well, such a way I could prove to them a purity of Dasha’s and my behavior around My Chem guys though I really shouldn’t make that exposure of everything about myself. It was just a habit to excuse myself in front of him xP. Anyways, my efforts were all in vain. I realized that when Joe, Pat and me watched Pete fastly going away from Dasha, from us, away from the parking lot. Boys called out for him trying to stop him, but it didn’t work out. He didn’t want to hear us. Then Dasha walked up with forming tears in her eyes and an absent look.
“We should go, Ira”, she simply said taking her stuffs.
************Soundtrack – “Walking Alone” by Green Day*************
I grabbed my luggage and said farewell to the boys. Dasha and me fastly went outside of the parking lot to find a taxi to O’Hare airport.
*************************************************************************************
Dasha let her cry only in a plane. I tried to sooth her but she asked to leave her alone. And I should take her advice…
“Dasha, you know that it can’t be this serious”, I told her then.
“No! it’s fucking serious, Ira. He doesn’t wanna see me, hear me, meet me any-fucking-more”, she replied angrily and still sobbing. “He broke up on me. Due to all these lies”.
I took her hand but she tore it away.
“It’s your fault”, she hissed. “You and your fucking MCR”.
I felt a forming lump in my throat and turned away to a window. I knew she was just too upset to understand what she was talking. She didn’t want to feel any guilt for herself. But I really hadn’t forced her to go to My Chem’s bus and spend time with them. So I just say nothing to her, switched on my iPod and let music to filling me while I was falling asleep…
Is our secret safe tonight and are we out of sight? (Why do we put ourselves in these situations?)
At 11 p.m. the band returned. As Dasha and me gave up on everything and slept the whole evening – something we couldn’t afford for a long time – we invited guys to go to the swimming pool. We went there first, as Bob, Mikey and Gerard joined us later.
There were not much people in such late time. And after some minutes we even were alone in the pool. Bob and Dasha were making much noise and just a chaos in water by splashing each other. So I was quietly swimming pretty far from them with Mikey who was near. Then he got involved in Bob and Dasha’s game and I decided to go out. ‘Cause they three were filling the whole pool xD. When I was getting out I met Gerard who handed me a towel.
“Thank you”, I said standing in from of him and wrapping the towel around my waist.
“Already out?” he asked me in his blue boyshorts.
“No! You won’t take me!” we heard a deafening scream of Dasha and then a loud laughter.
“I understand why”, Gerard smirked.
I smiled nodding. But noises of our rowdy friends didn’t scare him as much as me. So I was left alone on…a bank watching them all jumping and diving in, swimming and splashing, running and chasing each other. Well, I was waiting for them to get tired. I sat on the edge of the pool wrapping my towel around my shoulders and swinging my feet in the water. At the same time guys began “chicken fight”. Dasha was atop of Bob and Gerard was on Mikey’s shoulders. I was laughing all the way of their “fight”. It was such a sight to see! Being so high and meant to push Gerard, Dasha got scared suddenly. She was asking Bob to run away and take her down, while he was walking towards Mikey and Gerard was trying to pull Dasha down. But after accidentally crashing into the water himself, Gerard had to see a victory dance performed by Dasha and Bob xD. So they all finally got separated and began just swimming ordinary. Gerard floated to me.
“It was hilarious!” I said.
“It’s not my fault! Mikey’s not a very reliable holder”, he excused himself grinning.
I just kept silence looking at him with a smile.
“Why you didn’t join us?” he asked taking a seat next to me (and that surprised me).
“I don’t like such an activity on water”, I replied.
And I meant it. I swim very carefully and I think I have a fear of a depth xD.
“I’m not a good swimmer and swim despite all fears I have”, I smirked.
“Clear. What you were doing all day long?” he asked.
“Jacuzzi and champagne”, I grinned looking at him. “And then we just fell asleep till 10 p.m. And how your show was?”
“Good as usual. It was a small venue and we liked it for a difference. Just the band, the songs and the fans”, he replied.
We were interrupted by Bob who swam up to us and grabbed my legs. I squealed catching Gerard’s arm or whatever to keep myself on the edge. But Bob strongly pulled me down wrapping his arms around my knees. And we all were in water. I was holding on Bob, cursing him and beating his chest. It all caused a new wave of crazy games and splashes. But now Gerard and me were in one team. Actually we were all going on Bob who was beating off of us and simultaneously making fun of me or Dasha xD. After some time she walked out of the water and established herself on the edge of the pool drinking a glass of juice. Bob and Mikey began jumping from high spring-boards. And somehow two big waves they caused got me underwater. Trying to come for air, I was caught and pulled up by Gerard.
“You’re okay?” he asked me while I was coughing out the water from my throat.
I nodded holding on him strongly as we found a safe place. After short time I was completely okay (I was just some seconds under the surface), but still in Gerard’s arms. I thanked him finally looking into his eyes. His glance was drawn to my face. I couldn’t believe he was amazed by drops of water falling down from a tip of my nose xD.
“You’re welcome”, he said and almost not noticeably pulled me closer to him.
Somehow I heard only us, not sounds of splashing water or our friends’ voices. I looked down at the spot where my breasts in a swimming suit were touching his pale chest. Every my or his breath were causing more intense contact. We were together in water again xD. And it felt comfy.
“I’d better get out”, I finally said floating away from him.
After finding my towel and stuff, I began gathering along with Dasha as Bob walked up.
“I’ve not checked the Jacuzzi bath yet”, he said.
“Now?” Dasha asked.
“When else? We’re leaving in the next morning”, he replied.
“Of course, you can take the bath, Bob. You, guys, pay for this room. You can do everything you want”, I said.
“We don’t mean to bother you”, Mikey came up. “If you wanna sleep…”
Dasha and me laughed lightly.
“Dude, they slept the whole day while we were at the venue”, Gerard replied to their questionable looks and winked at me.
“Then you can be up all night. It’s great!” Bob exclaimed joyfully.
“You can occupy our bath, but then we’ll take showers in your room”, I advanced a condition.
“I agree, if you’re not against of two techs’ presence”, Bob smirked.
I frowned my eyebrows.
“Whose room is empty?” I asked.
“Ours”, Mikey and Gerard both said.
I sighed deeply.
*************************************************************************************
Being dressed in my night apparel and wrapped in a bathrobe and leaving Dasha in the guys’ room to take a shower next, I returned in that huge posh suite where I found Frank, Gerard and Mikey.
“We’re just waiting for Bob. He’s in the bathroom”, Mikey answered to my surprised look.
“I see. Frank even gave up on a sleep”, I said.
Frank grinned.
“We’re hanging out here. Wanna pick a movie?” he asked.
Oh, we’re gonna watch a movie tonight. Well, anyway I don’t wanna sleep.
“No. You do this, boys. Just let’s watch something funny”, I replied and went to my bedroom leaving the door open.
Entering it, I heard Bob’s singing “Pretty Woman”. Firstly I laughed enormously, then came up to the bathroom door.
“Bob, sweetie, you’re a great drummer! Leave a vocal part for Gerard! He does it good actually!” I yelled loud enough for him to hear.
We all laughed at the situation as Bob was singing even louder. I shook my head taking my laptop and bringing it to the living room. I took a seat between Frank and Gerard opening a browser. First of all I intended to check my e-mail. Simultaneously speaking with guys I opened a letter from my bro. And it contained a very good news. I couldn’t curb from a little squeal. I was grinning like an idiot and clapping my hands.
“This is amazing! This is fucking awesome! This is great!” I was almost yelling.
While the rest of the guys was asking what was so “fucking awesome”, a smart Gerard just read the letter itself and found a reason of my elated state. And we together explained to the guys that my bro was accepted to the Arsenal Youth Academy (Youth Academy of English FC Arsenal, London). His dreams came true, my hopes for his future came true. I’m sure all our family are happy for him now. Me exactly. Guys gave me hugs and said congratulations telling me to send them to my brother. So I finally settled down and tried to type a reply. But then Dasha returned and I got excited again telling her those good news xD. After some minutes of non-stop talking I calmed down myself again. I even typed “I’m so happy for ya”. But then Bob came out from the bathroom.
“Bob! I’ve got so great news from my brother!” I yelled rushing to him xD.
Well, guys ordered some Chinese food and picked a movie. We all agreed on watching Home Alone. No matter how many times we’ve seen it, it’s always worth of watching again. Dasha was sitting in an arm-chair giving herself a manicure. Bob and Frank were on a comfy sofa while Gerard, Frank and me were occupying a couch. Before the funniest things in the movie didn’t started I finally ended a letter to my bro and wrote one more to Cesc. Pretty sure they two would contact soon. Then I rested my head on Gerard’s shoulder. Actually I didn’t leave it till the end of the movie. And it felt so good and naturally. After realizing it and admitting to myself that it was comfy, I finally relaxed bringing all consuming me thoughts to the back of my mind. Well, laughing when the film was funny and being quiet when it was serious, we all ended our movie-night. Boys left our room and Dasha and me crashed on our king-sized bed. At around 3 a.m.
*************************************************************************************
The next morning started for us with my ringing mobile. I jumped out from the bed rushing to pick it up. The display showed me it was Frank.
“Fuck you, man! It’s too fucking early! What do you want?” I wasn’t very polite.
“Open the door. We’re here. We ordered a big breakfast into your room. For all of us. Sorry”, he updated me.
I threw my phone on the bed, told Dasha to got up and dragged my sleepy body in oversized ‘I Love NY’ tee and red matching boxers to the door. I let Frank, Mikey, Gerard, Bob and Ray inside.
“Feel yourselves like at home”, I mumbled and crashed on a sofa.
“Sorry for waking you up, but this breakfast will make you feel definitely better”, Mikey said.
I smiled to him noting he was the one to apologize for their early visit.
“I hope. When we’re leaving?” I asked whoever would answer me.
“In three hours”, Gerard replied. “And in some more hours you’ll see Chicago”.
“The main problem is NOT to see or to BE SEEN by Fall Out Boy”, Dasha said coming into a living room.
But we all said to her to put her worries away. Soon our breakfast arrived and I must say that guys were right. Firstly, it consisted of so much food – fruits, toasts, different kinds of juices (boys didn’t know what ones Dasha and me like xD), omelet, beefsteak, a few salads, even a chocolate pie. And guys couldn’t resist to order a bottle of champagne xD. Oh, and coffee, of course. I liked that breakfast. Not only because of that amount and variety in food, but ‘cause it was warm and a lot of fun. Nobody wanted to end it for a leaving for another city, even for such a fabulous city as Chicago. Though Bob was glad to be home for a day, naturally.
*************************************************************************************
A hearty farewell scene between My Chem and us was spent in their bus when we were already in the city. ‘Cause Dasha and I didn’t wanna loose any minute after arriving. We were supposed to take our bags and suitcases, catch a taxi and head to Chicago’s O'Hare. So when we all arrived at a venue’s parking lot, boys said goodbyes to us once more and left for the arena. Pulling our stuffs from a luggage sector of the bus Dasha and me couldn’t see that Patrick, Pete, Joe and Andy were behind us and were watching us with a big curiosity. When Dasha and me turned to rush for a taxi with bags and suitcases in our hands, we faced them. My heart skipped a beat and I’m pretty sure Dasha’s one did too. She even dropped her suitcase on a ground.
“Fuck, it’s impossible”, I said not loudly.
“Fucking lucky me”, Dasha whispered.
Pete walked up to us taking big and wide steps.
“What does it mean?” he asked looking directly at Dasha.
The rest of the boys slowly and carefully came up too, being followed by Andy – a person I’d prefer to meet after a very long time.
“Oh, Ira! I thought we wouldn’t see each other again”, Trohman said joyfully.
He obviously didn’t sense a tension in our atmosphere…
“You’re more cunning than I thought”, Andy spoke with a strict look on his face.
“What happened? We thought you were at home already”, Pat said.
“I ask once again. What the fuck on the earth does it mean?” Pete’s voice was louder now.
“Nothing extraordinary”, I replied as Dasha was speechless. “We had been in Indianapolis, at that train station. And we felt ourselves bad and miserable. Then Bob called. He was checking how we were. He was worrying about us. Unlike you. Nobody from you standing here called us to ask about our state then. I even got a call from Gabe and Butcher. Well, Bob suggested to save our money and to ride with MCR to Chicago”, I explained leaving behind some details. Many of them.
“We kinda have a tour bus too. And we didn’t kick you out”, Pat reasoned.
“We know. But in that morning Bob had such an idea. And we decided to spend some time with them instead of jolting in a train”, I replied.
“Pete, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I was with them. Firstly, I didn’t know how to tell you that and then my phone stopped working without any obvious reason”, Dasha said.
“How convenient!” Andy smirked. “I’ll go away – I can’t listen to these lies and bullshit”.
“We’re saying a truth!” Dasha and me protested.
“Yep. And I’m the English Queen”, he said with an irony.
Dasha gave him a killing glare but it didn’t hinder him to go away. At the same time Pete pulled Dasha aside for talking. So Pat, Joe and me watched as Dasha left her luggage beside me and followed Pete to the behind of MCR bus. I could say by her facial expression that she was scared of what was going to happen next. I blinked slowly hoping everything would be okay.
“So did you have a good trip? As I know My Chem schedule, they was supposed to be in Detroit yesterday”, Patrick said.
“Yes. We were there. Detroit was good”, I replied. “We had fun and had time to sleep our asses off. So now I feel myself fresh and nice”, I added watching Pat smiling.
“Oh really?” Joe smirked.
I turned my head to him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked him curling my lips. “That we slept with THE WHOLE fucking band?! They are our friends. As much as yours. They’re male but they’re still friends. The same like Spencer Smith is our friend, Jon is our friend, Patrick is our friend”, I said gradually losing my patience for that day.
“And you were kissing him”, Joe recalled.
I closed my eyes for a moment at this reminder.
“And I’d said sorry, right, Pat?” I said.
He nodded smiling.
“We’re friends, too”, Joe asked quietly.
“Yeah. And you’ve had no sexual thoughts about me. ‘Cause it’s normal for a friendship. So why other my friends should?” I asked him.
“But we-“, he spoke meaning to discuss our making-out some nights later.
“Don’t!” I stopped him. “This was just my revenge. As for you, it wasn’t that you wanted”.
Well, such a way I could prove to them a purity of Dasha’s and my behavior around My Chem guys though I really shouldn’t make that exposure of everything about myself. It was just a habit to excuse myself in front of him xP. Anyways, my efforts were all in vain. I realized that when Joe, Pat and me watched Pete fastly going away from Dasha, from us, away from the parking lot. Boys called out for him trying to stop him, but it didn’t work out. He didn’t want to hear us. Then Dasha walked up with forming tears in her eyes and an absent look.
“We should go, Ira”, she simply said taking her stuffs.
************Soundtrack – “Walking Alone” by Green Day*************
I grabbed my luggage and said farewell to the boys. Dasha and me fastly went outside of the parking lot to find a taxi to O’Hare airport.
*************************************************************************************
Dasha let her cry only in a plane. I tried to sooth her but she asked to leave her alone. And I should take her advice…
“Dasha, you know that it can’t be this serious”, I told her then.
“No! it’s fucking serious, Ira. He doesn’t wanna see me, hear me, meet me any-fucking-more”, she replied angrily and still sobbing. “He broke up on me. Due to all these lies”.
I took her hand but she tore it away.
“It’s your fault”, she hissed. “You and your fucking MCR”.
I felt a forming lump in my throat and turned away to a window. I knew she was just too upset to understand what she was talking. She didn’t want to feel any guilt for herself. But I really hadn’t forced her to go to My Chem’s bus and spend time with them. So I just say nothing to her, switched on my iPod and let music to filling me while I was falling asleep…