Don't Blame Me for Being Me

Chapter 69
All that's left is to believe… Less talk, less talk and more walk (When a stranger calls)
I was having a lunch in my office’s catering with some of guys I work with, when my phone buzzed. A private unknown number. I fastly swallowed a piece of an apple I was chewing before and picked up.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Ira? Is it you? I was given a right number, I hope?” a familiar male voice asked me.
“Yeah, it’s me. And who you are?”
“Fuck, it’s Jack. Jack Barakat. I thought I was unforgettable”, he cracked a laugh.
I snickered sheepishly.
“I guessed it’s you. And yes, you were, so stop worrying”, I said and immediately checked my hey-we-already-turned-red cheeks.
“Oh, thanks… and how unforgettable I was?” he asked obviously not being bashful at any sense.
“Um… you’ve called me to talk about THIS?” I couldn’t think up anything smarter.
“No, I’ve called you to… call you to take a part in filming a music video for a band”, he told and sounded like he ended that sentence.
“A band called?...” I tried to get more information.
“I keep it a secret until you give me your answer”, he said.
“You don’t think that the band’s name can be one of the main factors that will influence my answer to you?” I asked.
“One of, but not the most important”, he snapped.
“Okay”, I groaned. “So may be other details?”
“I don’t know much of a scenario. Just some romantic story. Los Angeles as a background”, he replied.
“And me who, for sure, is a inherent citizen of LA”, I interrupted him with an irony.
“Just my friend asked if I know a pretty brunette girl of a medium height, not very skinny, with a shining smile – it’s his words – with a good sense of humor and kinda artistic. I thought about you”, Jack told.
“Why the fuck he needs my sense of humor?” I mumbled.
“I don’t know. They just try to find somebody natural amongst all actresses who send them their portfolios”, he replied.
“So I need to send them mine, right?”
“Yeah. And come to a casting”.
“Oh, so what gives me your call then?” I asked.
“At the casting you’ll be as recommended by Jack Barakat, silly”, he replied.
“Does it mean something good?” I teased him.
He laughed.
“Well, last question – what song’s for video?” I wondered.
“In-N-Out”, he answered unaware.
“I’ve got you!” I yelled not caring about that fact I was in public place. “It’s We The Kings. You failed in keeping secrets”, I told quieter.
“Fuck. You’re sly, I hope you know”, Jack moped.
“Yes, I am”, I said proudly. “So I say yes, I’d be glad to be in their video. If they decide I suit them, it’ll be just fine”, I said. “And call me later for details about the casting and other ‘cause for now I have to go back to work”, I added gathering my stuffs as my friends were already leaving our table.
“Sure”, he agreed.
“And I just wonder… Jack, does sleeping with you help me to get these things?” I TRIED to sound jokingly.
“Well, I honestly don’t know what to say. Like I told you before, I recalled you when Travis was talking about a type of girl they need for the video. I recalled you. That’s all”, he replied.
“Ah, man, relax. It’s not a big deal. If we were JUST hanging out together, you could remember me too, right? Who’s the blame if we ended up another way. I just wanna say that I really appreciate your call now. Thanks, Jack”, I said.
“You’re welcome. Glad to help. It’d be great to meet you somehow and JUST hang out”, he mocked me.
“Sure. Call me later, okay?” I said after a little snicker.
“K, bye”.
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To the evening I vaguely remembered Jack’s call and my who-knows-if-it-will-ever-happen participation in that music video. Due to a huge pile of problems in the office. Actually I tend to believe they’ll fire me soon ‘cause of financial problems in my company. And not me alone, of course.
Well, when I was scrolling up and down my playlist at my laptop trying to pick songs for my mood then, my eyes caught the name of We The Kings. I smiled widely and decided to form a portfolio for the casting. Thanks Lord, I have more than enough photos of me. So the rest of the evening I spent in front of a screen of the laptop and different images of me choosing good and appropriate ones. Last thing before going to sleep was to check my twitter. I recalled that Jack wanted to hang out with me, so I quickly checked any events upcoming in theatres, stadiums or wherever. After that research I left Jack a tweet – “Anaheim Ducks vs. NY Islanders this Saturday evening. I think we should go”.
I wasn’t in any hurry to call Gerard with news about We The Kings’ video. May be it’ll be nothing to worry about. I’m not there, so… why he should know that I’m just going to take a try?
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“Hey, bro!” I called my younger brother Alexander (shortly Alex or Sasha in Russian).
I was going to bed already but I knew it was already a morning in London.
“Hey, sis”, he cracked a laugh in his ordinary morning voice.
“Yes, it’s time to wake up”, I laughed. “How’s everything going?”
“I’m fine. I feel pretty comfortable here but still adopting to the conditions and people. If you asked me about Arsenal Academy”, he replied.
“Yeah, that’s what I needed to know. How about trainings?”
“Good. Hard, but good. Don’t worry, I understand their importance”, he hurried to add.
“So it’s not like it was back in Bolton summer school a couple of years ago? No complaining over a phone?” I teased him.
“Of course, not”, he laughed.
“Good. You’re in Arsenal Youth Academy. Don’t even try to complain about hard trainings and tiredness”, I threatened jokingly. “Hope you know that the whole our family is proud of you. All you need is to practice and keep your talent and skills high”, I added more seriously.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, thank you. So how are YOU?” he doesn’t like much attention on him, I’ve always known it.
“I’m good. Have a normal life for a change – no roads, no shows, no blasting music, no buses, no Fall Out Boy around”, I said in a kidding way. “Have some problems at work, but they’ll disappear soon with the job itself”, I added.
“You mean?”
“They’ll kick me out with the first wave of mass personnel dismissal”, I cleared.
“Oh, it’s bad. May be you should find another job? Oh is it necessary at all?”
“I have to pay bills and buy food, so yeah, job is a necessary thing”, I smarted.
“You chose to move to USA yourself. I would like to help, you know”, he said.
“Yeah… I think everything’s gonna be alright. Well, I’m going to an ice hockey to Anaheim Ducks home arena tomorrow with a friend”, I told.
“Yeah? Cool. What friend? Do I know him?”
“Oh, just a friend. Jack Barakat from All Time Low. Was introduced by Pete. Who, by the way, dumped Dasha. But she’s not alone and sees Mikey Way from My Chem. It’s all confusing for me. She had such strong feelings to Pete…”, I said.
“It’s her life. So she decides”, my bro has wise words to say. “So what game? It’s NHL?”
“It’s Ducks vs. NY Islanders. Actually, one of my reason to call you was to ask what I should wear tomorrow. Imagine a pretty hot LA evening and cold inside the arena. Plus Jack who’s a man. And I’ve not been in ice hockey arenas for so long”, I said with a pouty girlish voice.
“Dress whatever you want, just be prepared to grab a hoodie or anything warm. Because, yeah, it’s cold inside”, he replied.
“I think about it too. Actually I do think about it all the fucking day!” I even threw my free hand up.
“Nah. Don’t worry this much. If only Jack is not just a friend”, he half-asked.
“He IS! But it doesn’t mean I’m gonna look ugly. And I have a boyfriend, by the way. Well, it’s only…like…getting started and he’s not in LA for now”, I replied.
“Oh, cool. I have a new name to remember. And new stories to be told ahead of me. Who’s he?”
“It’s Gerard Way, vocalist of My Chem. We met on this summer tour”, I answered with a quieter tone, strangely.
“And before it was Brendon Urie from Panic!, right? Who’s next? Mick Jagger?” he joked.
“You consider Gerard’s so old that only Jagger can be my next? Very funny, boy”, I scolded though.
He laughed at me.
“I’m only kidding, you know. Wish you luck in this relationship”, he said knowing much about my past.
“Thanks. I’ve wanted to ask if Cesc comes to your trainings or sorta?”
“Yeah, he comes. Not just for me. He and other players from Arsenal do master-classes pretty often. Sometimes our coaches invite Arsenal past legends. They speak with us about games they had, you know, about their old times. It’s incredible. It makes you feel much better, stronger spiritually. And you learn Arsenal history from the persons who had been creating it for long time. It’s great”, he replied.
“Oh, how much I miss London…”, I sighed.
“Our football London”, my brother added.
“Yes, bro. I miss that time. Hey, did Cesc tell you about my great review of my summer adventures I sent to him? I sent a long letter and a pile of photos, but he did nothing in response”, I changed topic of the conversation.
“Yes, he told. His actual words were the next – your sister had much fun in that tour. She was on the edge of losing any morals sometimes. And sometimes she had noting to do but lose it. The end of the quote. So I’m really intrigued about how immoral you acted”, he chuckled.
“He made wrong conclusions. Really. I wasn’t immoral. In a common sense”, I protested. “I hadn’t been trying drugs or prostitution or even free sex life”, we laughed. “Drinks? Yeah, they had a place. But in a good company”.
“Clear. Send me more pictures. Those 5 you mailed me before are not enough, hope you guess”, he said.
“Yeah, sure. I just got busy recently. How’s Mom? Dad?” I asked.
“They’re all fine. You can contact them for a change, you know”, he made me feel a little guilty.
“I e-mail them one time in 3 days. I call Mom regularly. And when I just miss her, I call her in an instance”, I fend for myself. “Only that tour kept me from doing it as frequently as they wanted”.
“Okay”, he said.
“Yeah, okay. I’m going to bed actually. So have a nice day, boy”, I wished him.
“Sweet dreams, sis”.
“Bye”.
“Bye-bye”.
I laughed at his boyish tone in the end and we hung up. Bro was right. Traveling along USA I had been forgetting to contact my parents. And plus they were a little bit offended that I wasn’t gonna show up in Belarus this summer. That tour (due Joe Trohman) had changed my plans, of course. It’d changed many things in my life.
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Well, Ducks shamefully lost. Jack and me, not being fans of any of two clubs, just watched an interesting game and spent good time together. I told him I’d already sent my portfolio to the cast director of We The Kings. Jack told me that he’d already spoken to Travis Clark & Co.
“I told them you’re the only choice they can ever make”, he said when we were out from the Honda Center.
We were walking down the street and trying to hail a taxi.
“Pff, and they are really going to listen to your advises?” I teased him.
He gave me a glare.
“Okay, okay! I just still can’t get why you’re so pushy about my actress career”, I smirked.
“Consider it just as my crazy whim. I want to see you in a music video”, he replied.
I shook my head being not satisfied with his answer.
“I really appreciate this, but I don’t understand it. At all”, I said.
He just smiled widely in a sorta of response.