Don't Blame Me for Being Me

Chapter 70
You're just doing your own thing and some one comes out the blue (Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight)
Jack’s obviously not gonna rid off of me easily xD. I’m dressed up and ready to go to All Time Low show here, in LA. The way he pleaded me to come could just make bricks cry. Just a metaphor. So, I put all my deals away for some hours and gave him my agreement.
Riding in a taxi I got caught by Gerard’s call. I couldn’t help but smile before picking up.
“Hello!” I said joyfully.
“Hey, how are you?” he asked.
I could tell he wasn’t as cheerful as me.
“Fine. And you? You sound sad”, I worried.
“I’m okay. Just tired a little. And I have some sad news for us”, he replied.
“Okay, what is it?”
“The band is going to UK for a couple of days, so you and me postpone our meeting. And it sucks. As for me”, he said.
His last words were said with a little query. In me? Of course, it was sad news. Not that I was counting days to his arrival, but still… I wanted to see him as soon as possible.
“Yeah, it sucks. Very much”, I sighed.
“And I’m still unsure about when I’ll make my way to LA, so… I’ll keep you updated”, he said. “How was your day?”
“So usual that I barely have something to tell”, I chuckled. “But now I’m going to All Time Low show. Alone”.
“Nobody from your friends wanted to go?” he smirked.
“I didn’t ask anybody. Just I was invited to come by Ja-”, I stopped ‘cause I recalled that Gerard had only one memory about Jack Barakat and me.
“Jack? Jack Barakat? Why the hell he invites you to his shows?” Gerard got a little bit rowdy.
“I understand what you feel now, but him and me, we just hang out together. Honestly. There’s nothing going on between us”, I explained though I disliked it. Much.
“I just… well, it’s not easy thing to accept after knowing you two-”, he was loss at words.
“Gerard, believe me, I’m not a type of girl who cheats around. I hoped YOU KNEW”, I said firmly.
“Okay, I have to go”, he told.
A. Weak. Excuse.
“I’ll pretend I bought it. But don’t even dare to make up something about Jack and me in your perverted mind”, I warned him.
“What? Why my mind is perverted?” he scolded.
“You got what I told you”, I simply said and ended the conversation.
I had an awesome time at All Time Low show. Them playing live is a real thing. They sounded just great. They were funny and talkative between songs (as usual, I suppose). And as I’d promised Jack before, I was patiently waiting for him backstage.
“Why am I supposed to sit here and wait for your priceless person?” I asked Jack with a smile on my lips when he and the rest of the band were coming up.
He just hugged me as a greeting and took a bottle of water I gave him right then.
“Hello, Alex”, I said not being sure I was in his memory.
“Hi. So it’s you whom Jack disappear with sometimes”, he told taking another bottle of water from a big box standing there.
I nodded approvingly and glanced at Zack and Rian, both shirtless and with white towels around their necks.
“Shower was good?” I asked them smiling. “I’m Ira”, I extended my hand for whoever of them to shake it.
“She’s my friend”, Jack added as we three greeted each other.
“Another example that sex can lead to a friendship”, Alex said.
We all looked at him. My cheeks immediately turned pink, this I could say at least. Though I felt like I should stand up for myself. But there were his three friends who knew that was a little bit harsh. So I just shrugged off my shoulders and took a sip of water from a bottle I chose for myself.
“Dude, mind your own business”, Jack told with a pretty serious look on his face.
“Sorry. It just slip out. Sorry, Ira”, Alex turned to me.
“It’s because of our discussion about your music videos and some of your songs then? Yeah, I wasn’t very polite, but it was what I thought, my opinion. You just took it too closely to your heart, Alex. But I’m ready to take some of my words back, ‘cause you’re great live. The set was fantastic. I’m your new HUGE fan, so welcome me”, I grinned.
“Okay, deal”, he hugged me smiling at my speech.
“Everything’s cool now?” Rian asked.
We nodded.
“I have a surprise for you”, Jack said.
“Oh, really?” I mumbled wiping his face with a towel.
“Thanks, honey”, he smiled.
To that time the rest of the band excused themselves and walked away having their own deals.
“So is this a self-coming surprise or you have to kinda carry it to me?” I asked.
“Let’s go”, he grabbed my hand and led me through a labyrinth of corridors of backstage area.
We made our way to some dressing room. Meaning to make that surprise be surprising Jack closed my eyes some feet away before the room so I couldn’t read of what band the room was. Though I remembered perfectly it was only All Time Low gig that evening. Well, he directed me to walk in there and with words “Ta-dah!” took off his hands from my eyes. Inside the room I found Dan, Drew, Hunter and Travis from We The Kings. I laughed a little.
“Hello, guys”, I said and waved my hand to them. “Jack, it’s not a surprise. No offence, guys”, I turned to Jack who was standing a little behind. “We were talking about We The Kings for the past four days. How the fuck it can be a surprise for me?” I smiled.
“So I failed?” he asked.
“Absolutely”.
“Then introduce yourself to them”, he said.
My facial expression turned to “what the fuck, Jack?” kind of. I heard a stifled laugh coming from inside of the room. But in some seconds I was smiling politely and shaking hands with Travis, Dan, Hunter and Drew. So Jack failed twice xD.
“Jack wanted us to meet you so much and had been talking about you. I think he was planning it for so long”, Travis leaned down to me and said that like he was sharing a secret.
I couldn’t help but laugh at poor Jack.
“Yeah, he’s kinda crazy about me and your video. It is totally and completely HIS idea”, I explained.
Somehow, I didn’t want them to think I was an eager fan. Whom I wasn’t.
“But you’re up to this idea”, Jack spoke up.
“Jack, you formed the band by annoying and stalking guys. Why it can be impossible for you to just convince me I’m up for this idea”, I joked.
“Because you really like this idea of mine”, he said.
“Yeah, but I’m not sure I’m that girl you’re looking for the video”, I told looking mostly at Travis.
“Why? Send your photos and may be you’ll be completely reassured”, he replied.
“I already did”, I updated them.
“Cool, then you’ll be officially an actress for the video”, Travis just shocked me.
“What?” I asked him with wide open eyes.
“We have a meeting with the director and cast direction tomorrow. If you’re not chosen by them, you’re definitely chosen by me”, Travis eyed me up and down for a brief moment. “And since it’s me who plays the main male part in the video, I have a voice here, I think”.
“Glad to hear”, I managed to say. Oh, and a weak smile.
“So may be we will meet again soon”, Hunter finished with all that unease.
After a small conversation about nothing in particular I said I had to go which was completely true.
“It was nice to meet you. Honestly”, I smiled to We The Kings.
“I thought you’d stay for more”, Jack whined.
“You’re getting used to my presence too fast, Jack”, I joked. “C’mon, let’s go, you’ll see me off”, I extended my hand towards him.
He slowly got up and stretched himself.
“Oh, please, hurry up. It’s kinda late already and I have not so quick ride to home”, I pulled him to the exit door. “Once again, guys – it was nice to meet you. Hope to see you again!” I said a bit louder as I already left them behind laughing at Jack and me.
Jack chased me in my fast walking and put his arm around my waist.
“You WILL tell me later if and what they say to you about me, clear?” I turned my head to him.
He grinned.
**********Soundtrack – Don’t Speak, Liar by We The Kings***********
“Don’t even dare to mock me”, I laughed. “I need to know”.
“I’m silent! Don’t you see?” his grin grew more only.
“Then stop smiling like this!”
He chuckled and pulled me to himself closer. I’ve never doubted all these gestures were friendly. I was accepting them that way. We made our way out from the building and let go of each other meaning to say bye soon.
“What do you think about –”, Jack started his offer.
But we heard some loud screams and yells, “Jack! It’s Jack!” and saw some flashes near us, which belonged to photocameras.
“Oh, shit”, we both cursed.
Jack pulled me to his side covering me by himself from fans’ cameras and we fastly walked to the main street to get me a cab.
“How will you make your way back?” I asked him worrying.
“Guys will pick me up somewhere here. Not a big deal”, he replied.
We stood there for some minutes in a complete silence. The road was with no signs of a desirable yellow vehicle.
“You kinda were asking me about something”, I reminded him breaking the quiet.
“I was asking you out”, Jack replied simply.
“Out? What kind of out?” nervousness came from nowhere. “Hanging OUT? Or out like a…”.
“Yes, date”, he completed my sentence.
I was silent for a good minute thinking about Jack and me, Gerard and me, about We The Kings, about… my wardrobe… But I decided to focus on Gerard’s words about his feelings. Yes, it was a right thing to do. To recall him. ‘Cause if what we both feel is a start of something serious, I wanna take it. And no dates with Barakat won’t ever replace it.
“Jack, this idea of yours is bad. I can’t go to dates with you when I date another man”, I finally answered.
“Oh, you have a boyfriend? I didn’t know. You never told before though”, he said.
“There’s not so much to tell. It was one dinner and sorting things out. We’ve known each other for some time but our interactions were sometimes strange and… like one day we were close, then distant. Then a good understanding again and etc. So we just start everything and I feel confused still ‘cause I can’t gain feelings to him while he’s not even in LA. And he’s not in LA. Tonight we had a bad phone conversation. Because of you, by the way. And this video. And I’m gonna lose my job soon. And something or somebody that constantly remind about us sleeping together. Like Alex today. And I envy Dasha ‘cause she’s got three fucking days to see her boyfriend. And I can’t have it”, somehow I just couldn’t stop that complaining rant. “So don’t put more on my shoulders, Jack”.
He silently hugged me.
“I had no clue, Ira”, he said. “Alex’s an asshole though”.
“Uh, he’s not a problem, Jack. Problem is that we had sex. And all that reminders make me regret it. And they cause small, tiny difficulties”, I told.
“I don’t know what to say. Just don’t let them go get to you”, he advised still holding me. “Why the hell I was a reason of your bad conversation with your boyfriend?”
I managed to snicker.
“Because I somehow forgot that Gerard knows you and me slept together and I just spilled out you’d invited me to the show”, I replied.
“Do I know this Gerard?” Jack asked me slowly.
I hit my head at his boney chest.
“Yes. It’s Gerard Way. He perfectly had seen us leaving a hotel room during that party. I understand him now though”, I said.
He let me go.
“Well, if We The Kings hire you for the video, I’ll be with you to the end there”, he promised smiling.
“It’s because you pity to me after all my complaints?” I gave him a faint smile.
“It’s because we’re friends”, he simply told.
I think my whole face lit up after him saying that. Finally, our status was determined.
“Thank you for everything”, I spoke quietly.