Seuss!

Gerard could only stare as the Cat jumped to its feet and quickly placed the striped hat back on its head, acting like nothing had happened.

“Doctor Dake?” Gertrude asked. The Cat nodded. “Oh, please, you have to help me! My tail is so short and pathetic. Is there anything you can do?”

The Cat took a pair of glasses from the pocket of its doctor’s coat and placed them over its eyes. It knelt to the floor and examined Gertrude’s single blue tail feather. “Zis leetle tail is right for your kind of bird,” it said in a heavy German accent. Gerard could hardly believe what he was seeing.

“No! That can’t be true!” Gertrude cried, flying up and hovering in front of the Cat’s face. “You have to do something! I’m sick of this stupid little tail! Do something to make it better!”

“Alright, alright,” the Cat said, trying to calm the bird down. It turned and called over its shoulder, “Bring ze Pillberry Bush!”

Two short cats, each wearing hats just like the Cat’s, carried a short tree with purple leaves into the room. Round, pink berries hung on every branch. The Cat plucked several of them off of the tree and tossed them into the air, where Gertrude swallowed them, one after another. After eating twenty or so, she landed on the floor, looking extremely sick. Gerard picked her up.

“Take her outside,” the Cat said, still holding on to the ridiculous accent. Gerard wanted to say something about it, but Gertrude looked like she needed fresh air, so he obediently carried her outside and closed the door behind him. Gertrude twitched violently in his arms.

“Are you okay?” he asked, struggling to keep her from falling.

“My tail itches,” she said weakly. “Can you put me down?”

He carefully placed her on a thick tree branch. She twisted around to look at her tail. Her eyes widened, and she still looked too dizzy to stand properly, but enthusiasm was evident in her small eyes.

“Look! I’m growing feathers!”

It was true. Long, colorful feathers were appearing around the single blue one, some of them striped and spotted. Gertrude squealed in excitement.

“This is wonderful! I’ll have the best tail ever!”

She seemed alright for the time being, so he went back into the doctor’s office to have a word with the Cat. He saw the creature not far away, and he jogged over to it.

“Why did you bring me here?” he asked.

The Cat shrugged. “Oh, don’t try and tell me you’re not having fun!
Why, since you’ve been here, can’t you see what you’ve done?
You’ve spoken to Horton and monkeys galore,
Saw Vlad and the birds, oh! But who could ignore
That you found little Gertrude and helped her prevail
In her quest to have more than a one-feather tail!”

“Alright, I’ve had enough.” Gerard grabbed the lapels of the Cat’s coat with both hands. “Let me go home. Now. I’m sick of this place.”

Instead of replying, the Cat grabbed his wrist and snapped its gloved fingers again. Gerard felt the same powerful gust of wind as he flew through the air and lost sight of the ground. A rush of pink filled his vision for a moment, but before he could see where he had landed, his head collided with something, and he blacked out.
-
A cool shadow fell across Gerard’s face, blocking the harsh sun from reaching his eyes. He slowly opened his eyes and saw a crowd of people standing in a circle around him, curiously staring down at him.

“Hey, he’s awake!”

“Let me through, let me through!” A hurried voice met his ears, and he slowly sat up to see what was going on. He quickly realized that he wasn’t surrounded by humans. They appeared similar, but they had longer, skinnier arms and legs, and their eyes were set wider apart with rounded noses between them. Their bodies were all long and oval-shaped, covered in brightly colored fur. Gerard glanced down at his all-black ensemble and decided he wasn’t going to fit in very well.

“Are you alright?” the same voice asked. One of the creatures was standing next to him and offering a gloved hand to help him stand up. He took it carefully, hoping he wouldn’t break the creature’s flimsy-looking arm in the process.

“Yeah, I think so,” he said, still taking in the surroundings. He had landed in the middle of a city, but it was unlike anything he had ever seen. The buildings looked like they were barely able to stand on their own, more like pieces of modern art than sturdy structures. Staircases wound around them and led to precariously placed doorways. Windows were shaped like everything but squares. He saw a few things that looked like cars, but it all looked so alien that he wondered how any of it was possible.

“Where am I?”

“Why, you’re in Whoville!” the creature told him, “and we are the Whos. I’m the mayor. Mayor McDodd.” He animatedly shook Gerard’s hand with surprising strength. “Who are you?”

“My name’s Gerard,” he answered hesitantly. “Hey, where’d that Cat go?”

“What cat?” the mayor asked. “You fell out of the sky, all on your own.”

“Huh…never mind. Do you have a phone or something? I need to try and get home…”

“Of course, of course,” said the mayor. “But first, I insist you join my family and me for dinner. You’ve got to try the Whosagna.”

Gerard was about to insist otherwise, but his stomach growled. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he’d eaten. He glanced up at the sky and saw that the sun was setting, and he didn’t want to be wandering around once it got dark, so he nodded in acceptance. “Okay.”

The Whos parted to let them through, and Gerard followed Mayor McDodd to a mansion that looked just as surreal as everything else. When the mayor opened the front door, Gerard almost didn’t want to go inside. He saw countless kids running around, chasing each other, drawing on the walls, and generally causing chaos. As soon as the children had realized that the door was open, all of them froze and went silent for a single second.

“DADDY!”

Gerard got out of the way as a flood of miniature Whos crowded around and climbed on the mayor, giggling and trying to tell him what had been going on in his absence. He finally edged his way inside and got most of them to settle down.

“Dinner’s ready!” called a voice from elsewhere in the house. The mass of kids ran towards the sound just as quickly as they had overtaken the mayor, and he managed a small laugh.

“Ninety-six girls,” he said as he and Gerard walked to the dining room. “Sometimes I wonder how we manage.”

Gerard’s jaw dropped. “How can you have ninety-six kids?”

“Ninety-seven, actually,” the mayor corrected. “The oldest is my son, Jojo. He, uh…” He seemed embarrassed, unsure of what to say. “He’s…different.”

Gerard chose not to press the subject, instead letting himself be awed by the sheer size of the dining room. Instead of the table being regular and rectangular, it wound around the room in a complex series of twists and turns. The girls chattered animatedly as they ate, and the smells of fresh pasta and tomato sauce filled his lungs, making him even hungrier. He followed the mayor into the kitchen, where another Who was pulling a tray of cookies from the oven.

“Ned, you didn’t tell me we were going to have company!” she cried upon seeing Gerard standing awkwardly nearby.

“I didn’t know either,” Ned said sheepishly. “He just got here.” He turned to Gerard. “Gerard, this is my wife, Sally. Sally, this is Gerard. He’s from…out of town.”

“Lovely to meet you,” Sally said warmly. “If you want anything to eat, help yourself. I’ll be back in a second; just have to see if Jojo wants dinner…” She picked up a plate of food and hurried down a nearby hallway, then quickly disappeared up the stairs. Ned gave a single forced laugh.

“Jojo’s probably working on his homework or something…so busy he forgets to eat sometimes…”

“I get like that too,” Gerard noted. The Cat’s many sayings flickered in the back of his mind, but he didn’t want to admit that the strange creature could have been right about him. His statement seemed to reassure Ned, and he smiled a little. His stomach growled again. He barely gave his host time to pile the food onto a plate before he hungrily attacked it, shoveling it into his mouth and completely forgetting his manners.

‘Lyn would be ashamed of me,’ he thought with a wry smile. His thoughts gradually grew more depressed as he thought of her. She had no idea where he was – not that he knew any better – and he wanted more than anything to go home to her. What if something happened to her while he was lost in this strange world? What if something happened to the baby? He could hardly stand to think about it.

“Is something wrong with the food?” Sally asked, sounding worried as she hustled back into the kitchen and set Jojo’s rejected dinner plate on the counter.

“Huh? …No, it’s delicious,” Gerard said quickly.

“You stopped eating. Somewhat suddenly, I might add,” Ned pointed out.

Gerard sighed. “I’m just thinking of my family. I miss them a lot…”

“Did something happen?” Ned asked.

“That’s just it,” said Gerard, dragging the splayed tines of the fork through piles of tomato sauce on the plate. “I have no idea. I haven’t seen my wife in…I don’t even know how long. A day? A week?”

Sally and Ned shared a confused glance. “Maybe you should start from the beginning,” said Ned.

Gerard explained everything as best as he could, but he could tell that the two Whos weren’t going to believe him.

“…and then when I tried to ask that stupid Cat what was going on, it sent me here and disappeared again,” he finally finished. “I don’t know why, but it seems to like making my life miserable.”

“That’s…er…quite a story,” said Sally. She smiled, but Gerard thought it looked more like a wince, and he instantly knew they thought he had to be crazy. “Very interesting.”

“What’s an elephant?” Ned asked.

Gerard just shook his head. “Never mind. Can I just use the phone?”

He dialed Lyn’s cell number first. His mind drifted off again as he wondered what he was going to say to her. Maybe she didn’t have to know anything was wrong. He could just say he was checking up on things. Was it even the same time there?

The operator’s voice came through the speaker, saying the number didn’t work. He tried it again, then his brother’s cell, his parents’ house, and even 911. None of them went through. He hung up the phone with a heavy heart.

“I guess they’re all asleep,” he said, managing a small laugh.

“If you need a place to stay, you’re welcome here,” said Ned.

“He’s gonna stay with us?” a much younger voice asked. Gerard glanced toward the dining room as five or six of the girls bounded into the kitchen and surrounded him. One of them squealed.

“It’ll be like a sleepover!”

“Now, girls, don’t bother him,” Sally said firmly.

“Aww, we just wanna play hide and seek one little time,” another girl said, pouting convincingly.

“Pleeeeeeeeease?”

Gerard smiled. “I’d love to.”

The girls told him to count to a hundred while they all found hiding places, and though he played along, he was hardly paying attention. He wandered the halls of the mansion, finding one of them in almost every room. He finally came to one at the end of the hall on the highest floor. It caught his eye simply because it wasn’t brightly colored or oddly shaped. It was a plain, regular, wooden door. He almost knocked on it, but it opened just before he could. A Who barely half his size stood on the other side, with black hair and a sad, distant look.

“Oh…hello…you must be Jojo,” Gerard guessed. The boy nodded once and retreated back, not bothering to close the door. Gerard opened the door further and carefully stepped inside. What he had assumed was a room turned out to be a hallway leading to a flight of stairs leading higher up into the house. He climbed the winding staircase to the very top where it opened into a room. Various drawings covered the walls and the floor, creating a path of pictures leading back to the overflowing desk where Jojo sat, hunched over something and silhouetted by a dim lamp. Gerard genuinely smiled.

“Are these all yours?” he asked, looking around at the pictures of fantastic creatures and places. “They’re really good.”

Jojo said nothing. He acted like Gerard wasn’t even there. The tap of a rock on the window suddenly caught his attention, and he ran to see what it was. He smiled, then ran around the room and shoved various papers and supplies into a backpack. He opened the window and gave Gerard a quick glance before jumping out. Gerard ran to see if he was alright. Jojo had landed in the top branches of a tree, and he was easily sliding down the trunk to the ground. Another Who child stood at the bottom of the tree, holding a few pebbles in his hand.

Gerard smiled again and walked over to the desk to get a closer look at some of the drawings. He found a blank sheet of paper and a pencil, so he sat down at the desk and began a sketch, thinking Jojo wouldn’t mind. The drawing quickly took shape since he had had so much practice with it before. A few short minutes later, he dropped the pencil and picked up the paper, where a portrait of Lyn was smiling back at him.

A knock at the door startled him, and he soon heard footsteps on the stairs. “Jojo, time for bed…oh, hello,” said Sally as she stepped into the room. “Have you seen Jojo?”

“He went out there.” Gerard pointed toward the window.

Sally rolled her eyes. “Of course. He’s always sneaking out.”

“He’s a great artist,” said Gerard, picking up several of the drawings from the floor and piling them on the desk.

“He certainly is creative,” Sally said before she went back down the stairs and closed the door. Gerard carefully folded the piece of paper and slid it into his pocket. He wondered where Jojo had gone. Deciding he had nothing else to do, he climbed through the window and jumped down to the tree, then wandered off down the path he had seen Jojo and his friend take. He realized he was slowly traveling uphill, and he glanced up to see if the path led anywhere. A huge stone building with a round roof was on the very top of the mountain. He climbed higher still until he was almost out of breath. It was almost completely dark by then.

He heard voices from inside the building, but they echoed too much to be discernible. Suddenly, the roof began to open up, and he saw a gigantic horn facing the sky. He quickly found the door of the building and went inside.

“Do you think it’ll work this time, Jojo?” asked one voice.

“I know it will. There has to be something out there that can understand us. Then everyone will believe me.”

“Okay. Do you think whatever it is will like green eggs and ham?”

“…I have no idea, Sam.”

Gerard crept closer and saw that the dark, narrow hallway opened up into a single wide room. He saw Jojo and Sam standing at the base of the huge horn. Jojo turned to face it and leaned close to the small opening that looked like a mouthpiece.

“Hello?” he called into the horn, voice echoing through it and up into the sky. There was a long pause of complete silence, so he tried again. “Hello?”

“Who’s there?” The voice shook the metal horn and startled Jojo.

“I’m Jojo,” he answered, shaking. Gerard finally walked out of his hiding place. Before the voice or Jojo could say anything else, he walked up to the horn and spoke into it.

“Horton?”

There was a gasp. “Gerard? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he said, ignoring the looks of confusion and shock from Jojo and Sam.

“How did you get all the way down there?”

Now Gerard was confused. “Down where? I’m not anywhere. How did you get up in the sky?”

“I’m not in the sky,” Horton insisted. “I’m talking to the speck. On the clover. Remember?”

Gerard went completely silent as shock flowed through him. He tried to piece everything together. He was in Whoville. Whoville was on the speck. The speck was on the clover. And Horton was currently holding it. “Oh…”

“How do you know this…this Horton?” Jojo asked Gerard.

“I…well, he saved me…and I was in the jungle…and then the Cat…and…” He sat down on the floor and held his head in his hands. “I think I’m going insane. I can’t be on that clover. I would have to be microscopic.”

“Well, you are,” said Horton, still sounding cheery as ever. “Who else was I talking to? Jojo, was it?”

“Yep.” Jojo actually smiled, looking excited. “This is great! I’m not crazy! There are other creatures out there!”

“What were they saying about a speck?” asked Sam. “And a clover?”

“Well, you see,” Horton began, “This morning I found this little tiny speck of dust floating through the air, and I thought I heard a cry for help, so I caught it on a clover. Gerard was there, too, but now he’s there. With you.”

Jojo left the horn for a moment and went over to Gerard. “Is that true? Were you really…up there?” He pointed at the sky.

Gerard nodded. “I must have been.”

“Hey!” Sam cried into the horn. “Do you like green eggs and ham?”

“What’s ham?” asked Horton. Sam looked at the floor sadly.

“It’s okay, Sam,” Jojo reassured him. He motioned toward Gerard. “Maybe he’ll eat them.”

Sam looked excited all over again and ran off, returning a few moments later with a plate holding two green eggs and a small green ham. He offered it to Gerard. “Hello! I am Sam. Sam I am. Do you like green eggs and ham?”

“I’ve never tried it,” Gerard admitted. He was still trying to make sense of everything. Sam handed him a fork.

“Try them! Try them!” he cried. Gerard cut off a piece of ham and skewered it, then stabbed one of the eggs. He placed the food in his mouth and chewed. “Well? Do you love them?”

“They’re awesome,” he said. Sam practically danced around as he snatched the plate away from Gerard and devoured what was left.

“Are you going to come back?” Horton asked Gerard.

“I don’t know…only if that Cat finds me again, I guess,” he answered sadly, thinking again of his home and how much he wanted to be there. He pulled the sketch out of his pocket and stared at it, unaware that Jojo was looking over his shoulder.

“I didn’t know you were into art,” said Jojo. Gerard nodded. Jojo pointed at the drawing. “Who’s that?”

“Lindsey…my wife,” Gerard whispered. “I wish I could go home.”

Jojo put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll get there soon.”

“Hey, what’s that?” Sam asked suddenly, pointing to something near Gerard. It looked like a wristband. Sam picked it up and put it over his small hand, but it quickly slid down to his elbow. “Aww, it’s too big.”

“Here, let me see,” said Gerard, placing it on his wrist. He noticed a square panel on one side with two different buttons, one yellow and one bright blue. He pressed the yellow button, but nothing happened. “Hm. Maybe it’s broken.”

“What about the other one?” asked Jojo. Gerard pressed the blue button. He was suddenly lifted from the ground and hurtled through the air, and moments later he landed on what he thought was a huge, gray rock.

“…ow…”

“Hey, you’re back!” Horton said brightly, turning his head to look at Gerard, who had landed on his back. “How was it? Was it awesome? Tell me!”

“I think I’m going to be sick if that happens again,” Gerard said to himself. “Hey…how did I get back here?”

“Oh, I don’t know. But you’re here!” Horton picked Gerard up with his trunk and hugged him tightly, forgetting that he needed to breathe. “Oh, hold on. What’s that?” He dropped Gerard on the ground and listened closely to the clover. “Jojo says you’re gone.”

“Tell him I’m fine…relatively speaking,” Gerard said as he picked leaves and sticks out of his hair.

“Okay. I’m going to go to sleep now. Goodnight!” Horton tucked the clover safely under one ear and practically fell over sideways, falling asleep instantly. Gerard looked up at the darkened sky, surprised at how many stars he could see. He still didn’t trust the jungle very much, but he was too tired to try and find a better place to sleep, and the sound of the river flowing by helped calm his nerves. Moving away from Horton so he wouldn’t get flattened, he spread several leaves out like a pillow and lay down on them, yawning. Moments later, he was fast asleep.