A Mass Hysteria In The Modern World

Jason White's POV. Two weeks later.

I laid in bed, bored, and thinking of what I could do for the day. I grabbed my cell phone off the night stand and went through the names of the phone which consisted of the band, their wives, their kids, Aaron Cometbus, Bill Schneider, and some of the band members of The Influents. But not The Network. I didn't have a wide variety of friends. I had none from high school. I closed my eyes and pressed a random letter on the phone and I opened my eyes again to see that I had pressed 'B'.

"Billie and Bill," I said and laughed to myself. "I'll call Billie." I pressed the 'send' button and waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" Alyssa's voice came through the phone.

"Hey!" I said and sat up in bed. "It's Jason."

"Hey! What's up?"

"I'm bored," I whined. She laughed.

"You sound like Abby on a bad day."

"Can you and Billie come over?"

"Oh," she paused. "Marty and Tre and the kids are over here. But you could come over if you'd like to."

"I'll do that," I smiled. "I'll see you in a few minutes. Bye."

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"Hey Jason!" Billie said, welcoming me in. I walked in the house, took off my shoes and coat then went into the living room where Marty, Tre, six month pregnant Alyssa, and the kids all sat.

"Jason!" The kids yelled and came charging at me. I laughed and hugged them all back. Alice and Abby were so grown up now. Klaus was only ten.

"Why do they love me so much?" I asked, looking at the three kids.

"Beats me," Alyssa said with a laugh and went into the kitchen.

Tre's POV.

"Can I give this to you now?" I asked. Marty was eating her food like she hasn't eaten in three weeks. Even the kids looked at her funny. She looked up with her mouth full.

"Give me what?"

"Could you talk with no food in your mouth, please?" I laughed. She began to open her mouth and lean her chin towards the plate. "Not on the plate!" I laughed even more. She chewed it up and got rid of it.

"You're disgusting," I laughed.

"Shut up, you are too."

I smiled and then shook my head, reaching into my jacket pocket to get the necklace that I bought from the psycho Japanese woman. Alice was sitting next to her and Klaus was next to me.

"Daddy has something!" Klaus said.

"I think it's time you start saying 'dad' instead of 'daddy'," I whispered to him.

"And why not? He's only ten," Marty said, standing up for him.

"He's going to be in 5th grade, Love. Then it's middle school after that. He can't be saying 'daddy' anymore. He'll get made fun of."

"I'll get made fun of?" Klaus asked, getting teary eyed. Marty looked at him and glared at me.

"Look what you've done," she sighed. Alice kept eating her food, staying out of the arguement.

"Klaus, I didn't mean that. You can call me whatever you want," I said to him.

"Even asshole?" He asked, not knowing what it meant. Alice smiled to herself, and Marty choked in her food laughing while my jaw dropped to the ground in shock.

"Klaus," I sighed. "That's a bad word. Where did you hear that?"

"From when you and mommy fought one night."

Marty and I looked at eachother and both sighed, then looked down at the table.

"But you shouldn't be saying that, okay?" I said, soothingly. Klaus smiled and nodded, then went back to eating his salad.

I smiled and put a small box on the table. She stopped eating and looked at it.

"Open it," I said. She eyed me suspiciously and then took the box, opening it. She pulled out the necklace.

"I don't normally wear necklaces that much anymore," she said, putting it on and looking at it. "But this one I'll wear." She smiled at me. "Thanks."

Randi's POV. Later that night.

I walked into me and Mike's room, ready for sleep. When I noticed that it was abnormally dark in here. I looked around, confused, and I heard a noise from across the room.

"Mike?" I asked aloud. The lights went on and I saw that the room was clean, there were a few candles, and I saw my favorite type of flowers sitting on the bed.

"What is this?" I asked, staying as far away from the bed as possible.

"It's me being home. I've missed you, Miranda," Mike said and hugged me with his arms around my waist. I put mine around his neck and hugged him back.

"So, have you thought about it?"

"About...?"

"Kids," he whispered.

"I've decided that I'll do whatever you want to do," I said and smiled at him.

"So you're for kids?" He asked, getting excited. I nodded my head with a smile. "Thank you!" Mike squealed and hugged me. I laughed and hugged him back.

"Let's go!" He said, and dragged me to the bed.

"Mike!" I screamed, laughing. He pushed me down and I couldn't stop laughing, and neither could he. Mike looked at me and pushed my weirdly cut bangs out of my face and just stared at me.

"I love you, so much," he sighed. I smiled and kissed him. "I would never do anything to hurt you."

"Unlike those other guys..."

"Hey," he said and brought my face up. "That was a long time ago, Miranda. They were stupid and they only used you because they're not good enough for you and they can't keep a steady relationship."

"I hate them," I said, getting teary eyed.

"Please don't cry," he whispered and kissed me again. "It was their loss." I nodded and forced the tears back that I've held in since I was fifteen.

"I love you, too," I said and kissed Mike. I could tell he was smiling and he slowly took my shirt off, revealing a black tank top that I had on underneath. He laughed.

"Why do you wear so many shirts?"

I shrugged and took his off too.

Alyssa's POV. 2 months later.

"So, you're two months?" I asked Randi as her, Marty, and I sat on her and Mike's backporch. It was just us three. The guys had kept the kids at home.

"You never seemed to want a kid," Marty said.

"Well, neither did you," Randi argued.

"I didn't want one! Or two for that matter!"

I laughed to myself and tried to cover my face. Marty sighed and leaned back in her chair.

"And... you're having a boy," she said and looked at me. Randi went through her phone and texted one of her friends back.

"Yup! In two months," I smiled.

"I take it Billie's excited?"

"Mhm!"

"Well he had to have been in order for this to happen..." she whispered.

"Obviously," I laughed.

"Or maybe he was just thinking about his boyfriend," Marty told me with a smirk on her face. I gasped then glared at her.

"He's married to a girl!"

"As far as he knows."

"Uh... that doesn't make sense considering she's pregnant?" Randi said, sounding a bit disgusted.

"Right," Marty laughed. "Ew."

"Oh shut up, you both are a bunch of hypocrites," I told them.

"I want food," Marty said, completely changing the subjects. "Do you guys want Subway? I do."

"Subway sounds good," I said. "Randi?" Marty and I both looked at her. Randi looked up at us and shrugged her shoulders.

"Sure, why not," she said. Marty got up quickly, grabbing her car keys and ran back into the house with Randi following after her.

"Wait up!" I yelled, getting up and holding my huge stomach. "It's not easy being eight months pregnant!" A few minutes later, I finally got out to the front where the car was and they both expected me to sit in the back seat.

"Oh, no," I said and glared at them.

"You know, you're kind of funny when you're mad and pregnant," Randi said and they both started laughing. I stuck my tongue out at them and got in the back seat.

"If this baby comes out retarded, I'm punching the both of you."

"You can't punch, Lyssa. You're weak," Marty said, driving off to Subway.

"I'll get Billie to punch you."

"He's weak, too."

"Jason?"

"Which one?" Randi asked.

"White," I said. Marty rolled her eyes.

"I'm guessing he's weak," Randi whispered.

"Oh! How would you know?" I asked.

"I've been on tour with them."

"So have I!"

"Shut up," she said bluntly, stopping at a red light. I sighed but half laughed and I could tell she was smiling too. Randi just laughed to herself while she texted another friend of hers.

Tre's POV.

"Billie!" I yelled, holding Klaus on my lap. Mike was pushing Klaus' hair out of his face. Billie came running in.

"What?"

"What's wrong with Klaus?" I asked, holding his head up. His face was hot and he was really tired.

"Tre," Billie said, looking me in the eye. "That's called a fever."

"Is it deadly?"

"Well, yes," Billie told me. I got wide eyed. "But only in the 1950's and shit like that. I don't even remember exactly when. But it was some crazy disease."

"What do I do?"

"You're the one with two kids, you should know," Billie said and walked away.

"You're about to have two kids! Help me! You too, Michael."

"What do you think I'm doing?!"

"I think you need help, Uncle Tre," Abby told me while playing her Playstation. Alice sat back and laughed.

"Alice! Why are you always laughing at me? I'm your father!"

"I'm your daughter, I'm supposed to annoy you and laugh at you. Aren't I?"

"You sound like your mother," I mumbled.

"Okay, Tre, here's a cold washcloth, put it on his forehead and here's a blanket, just put it over him. Klaus is sick, he's fine," Billie said, handing me the washcloth and blanket."

"Thanks, Bill," I said, putting the blanket over my son. "Even if I am stupid sometimes."

"Don't worry about it," he said and waved his hand then sat on the couch across from his daughter.

"I can't believe you're fourteen already, Abby," Billie whispered. Abby looked over at him, smiled, then went back to playing her game.

"And I can't believe I'm about to have a baby brother," she said, almost sarcastic. Abby still wasn't accepting the fact of her not being an only child anymore.

"You're going to love him, Abby," Billie told her. Abby kept her eyes on the TV.

"Hey, Abby, it's okay," Alice said, trying to convince her, too. "I had to deal with having a little brother, too."

"But you were four, I'm fourteen. There's a difference. I'm going to remember this."

"Actually, I do remember when we brought Klaus home."

"How?"

"He wouldn't stop screaming," Alice said, looking at the floor. Billie and I laughed and he started walking downstairs.

"Where are you going?" Mike asked. I looked up at Billie too.

"I have an idea for a song, I need to write," he said and walked all the way down and we heard a door shut.

"Don't bother him when he's writing," Abby said, pausing the game to get something from the kitchen. "I've tried that before. It's like he doesn't hear you he gets so wrapped up in his own thoughts."

"We know, Abby," Mike said. She smiled and went to the kitchen.

Billie's POV.

"She is my drama queen," was all that I had written down so far, after twenty minutes of being in the studio. I couldn't figure out the next line, so I just skipped that line... for now, and decided to work on the rest of the song.

"There goes my drama queen. She dangles from her necklace."

I was starting to get somewhere with this, but where exactly? I didn't know. I thought of another line to add, so I quickly wrote it down before I forgot. I never wrote with things tied together yet, I always wrote them on different parts of the paper so I could eventually put them together.

"Daddy's little bundle of joy out of a magazine."

"I'm done," I sighed and went to the bedroom to think. My daughter is growing up, and she'll be a 10th grader, how insane is that? I'm guessing that's where the lyrics are coming from. Plus it could be put in both mine and Tre's point of view. Daddy's little bundle of joy. Abby and Alice are sure as hell not in any way little, besides the fact that they take after their mother's and are skinny and petite, but the meaning of 'little' is that she'll always be my little baby Abby. I love her.

Marty's POV.

"You know, over the years Subway has gotten better," I said as I chewed on my sandwhich. Alyssa had to scoot her chair out a bit further than Randi and I from her stomach being so big and I laughed everytime I looked at her.

"They have," Randi said, looking at her sandwhich.

"Ow," Alyssa sand and dropped hers. She grabbed her stomach in pain.

"What's wrong?" I asked, getting worried.

"It hurts for some reason," she winced. "He kicked and then something happened."

"You're not going into labor, are you?!" Randi asked. "I don't want to see this! I'm stuck with it for seven more months!"

"It was your choice, Randij," I told her.

"I don't think I am," Alyssa breathed. She started to calm down more but winced again.

"I really don't think you're okay," I told her. "Should I call Billie? The doctor? Dr. Phil?"

She and Randi laughed to themselves and I joined in, laughing with them.

"No, no. I'm fine. Just let Billie know, just incase, you know?"

"That's fine."

Mike's POV.

"Oh my God!"

Tre, Abby, Alice, Klaus, who was half asleep, and myself all looked up and saw Billie run past us and put his sandals on quickly while still in pajamas and a t-shirt.

"What's going on?!" Abby yelled.

"Your mom is going to pop!" Billie yelled. Mike and I tried our best not to laugh. We heard his cell phone ring and he read his text and got pissed off.

"Nevermind, it was a false alarm."

"Marty?" I asked. I could tell Tre was thinking the same thing. Billie showed us the phone and sure enough, she had played a prank on him. Billie began to text her back.

Billie's POV.

"You whore."

"Shut up, I'm not a whore. Your wife really was a bit in pain though."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it only lasted for a minute and she's fine now."

"Where are you?"

"Subway."

"My wife almost went into labor at Subway? >.<"

"I find it a pretty relaxing place to have a baby, don't you think? (:"

I shut my phone, not so angry anymore, but a bit releaved.

"Is she okay?" Abby asked me.

"Mom's fine," I sighed and sat down. "Being a dad is tough."

"Oh, you're in for it, Armstrong," Tre told me.

"I know, I know," I sighed.

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"Honey, I'm home!" I heard Alyssa's voice throughout the house. I turned the shower off and got out, dried my hair, and walked downstairs to the living room with a towel around my waist.

"Hey," I smiled and kissed my wife. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she smiled back and looked at me.

"Are you stressed? You never take showers at night."

"I was, but I'm okay now," I said and kissed her again.

"No man should stand in just a towel and kiss his wife repeatedly when she has a dome for a stomach," I said and slowly walked upstairs, holding onto the railing on the wall.

"And why shouldn't he?" Billie asked, holding my lower back, helping me up the steps. Once I finally got to the bedroom I laid on the bed and kicked my shoes off. Billie sat next to me.

"Because... various reasons," I smiled and kissed him again.

"What are those reasons?" he asked with a smile and laid next to me, holding my hand. Billie kissed my cheek and played with my hair.

"Think about it," I laughed and pushed him off the bed. "You need to get dressed."

"Why?"

"One, you're naked. Two, it has to be cold. Three, just do as I say."

"But I thought number one was perfectly fine to you," he smiled.

"If I didn't have a dome, it would be perfectly fine," I laughed again. Billie got dressed in his boxers and t-shirt quickly then laid in the bed next to me, pulling the blankets over the both of us.

"Where's Abby?"

"She's staying the night with Alice, I told her it was fine since she hasn't been out in awhile," he said and got comfortable, turning the TV off. "Is that not okay?"

I smiled. "Of course it is. I'm not going to shelter my daughter away from all of humanity, Billie." He smiled back at me.

"Goodnight, Love," he said and kissed me gently. I kissed him back and tried to get comfortable, not being able to roll on either of my sides.

"Goodnight," I whispered and felt sleepy all of a sudden.

1 month later. Billie's POV.

I woke up to something hitting me over and over and I tried to roll over and stay asleep. It was three in the morning and I didn't want to be bothered.

"Billie!" Alyssa said, gasping. I shot up and turned on the light that was on the night stand and looked at her.

"What?!" I asked, sitting on my knees, scared to even touch her. She was much bigger than last month, more than I remembered her to be from when she had Abby.

"I think this is it..." she breathed, holding her stomach. "Can you go awake up Abby?" I got out of bed and quickly ran down the hall to Abby's room. I opened the door and saw her sleeping peacefully. I shook her until she groaned and woke up.

"What, dad?" She groaned some more.

"Your mom needs to go to the hospital, now."

"Is she okay?" Abby asked, sitting up quickly. "Is it finally time?"

"Yes," I whispered. "Hurry up and get some kind of shoes on, we don't want to make her wait."

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We were finally on our way to the hospital and Alyssa was staying surprisingly calm, but was still holding onto the arm rest extremely tight. Abby was falling asleep in the back seat.

"Hurry," she gasped, doing her best to stay calm and to not go psycho bitch all up on me.

"I'm sorry, I'm going as fast as I can."

"Then break the speed limit!"

"Do you want me to get arrested?"

"Dad! Stop!" Abby yelled.

"What am I doing?!"

"You passed the hospital..." she said and slumped back in her seat.

"Billie!" Alyssa practically yelled at me.

"I'm sorry!"

"I'm going to be hearing this all night, aren't I?" She groaned.

I parked the car in the first place that I saw closest to the hospital doors. I turned the car off, got out and ran to Alyssa's side. She opened the door and I gently helped her out. Once she stood up, she wobbled to side to side as she took baby steps to Abby's side.

"No, I'll get her. You go," I said, opening Abby's door. Abby got out and slammed the door.

"Why are you so angry?" I asked.

"Because mom needs to hurry up and get in there," she snapped at me. I sighed and rolled my eyes, then helped my wife to the doors.

"Can somebody get a wheelchair?" I yelled once we got inside.

Three nurses looked over, dropped their clipboards, and quickly rushed over to Alyssa.

"How are you feeling?" One of them asked her.

"Well, have you ever had a child?"

"No, ma'am. I haven't."

"It's a lot of pain and you feel like strengling every person you see," Alyssa smiled at her. "I'm just staying calm for my fourteen year old daughter and my husband who seems to be almost having a panic attack and I don't want him to end up in a hospital bed hooked up to IV's either."

Abby and I somewhat laughed to ourselves and told Alyssa that we loved her and the nurses took her away.

"Now what?" Abby turned and asked me. "I'm kind of hungry..."

I pulled out my wallet and saw that I had twenty bucks.

"Me too, do you want anything?"

"Duh!" She said, and took my money, laughing as she ran away to the vending machines.

"Be careful!" I yelled, and started to quicken my pace so I could catch up with her.

Alyssa's POV.

"Mrs. Armstrong, you're going to need to relax," a nurse said.

"I am relaxed," I said, clenching my fists. She looked down and saw my hands. I let them go and I let out a long breath. This was going to be a long night.

"So, you're having a boy?"

"Yes," I smiled. "My first one."

"You have another kid?"

"A fourteen year old daughter named Abigail. She's out in the waiting room with my husband."

"I noticed you're married to Billie Joe...?"

"Yes, I am."

I smiled even more, thinking about my new son, my daughter, and my husband. We were a proud and happy family and I was so lucky to have that.

"Phew," she said and wiped her forehead and shook the collar of her uniform. "Your husband is very, very attractive."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry, I should be doing my job."

"Yes, you should. And you shouldn't be talking to me about how 'attractive' my husband is. So if you could just do me a huge favor and get this kid out of me, that'd be great."

"Please, Mrs. Armstrong. We're all trying our best. Do you want to have this child the normal way or do you want to be passed out for it?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Yes, but it depends on your health, too."

"Just do whatever is quickest."

"Alright, we'll knock you out for this then," she said and pulled out a big needle.

"Where is that going?" I asked in a whisper.

"In your back, into your spine."

"Fuck no! Get that away from me! I'll have this kid the normal way!"

The nurse laughed and put the needle away.

"I always get that answer when I show them the needle," she smiled. I got angry and imagined myself stabbing her in the back with the damn needle.