A Mass Hysteria In The Modern World

[Month #9 - Alice's POV]

"Alyssa! Smile!" My mom yelled, taking a picture of her standing sideways. Alyssa was going to pop any day now and she still looked great. Somehow, she had gained only a few pounds the past few months so she still looked like herself. Billie was getting the kids to play with each other in the play pin; Abby and I sat on the couch in the middle of the living room.

My mom handed a few more presents to her for her to open. Once Billie got the kids settled, he came out and sat next to me and Abby. Miranda and Mike were standing in the corner next to us. They were taking pictures also. There were a lot of people here. Billie's brother came over and sat on the arm rest next to him.

"I'm really glad you invited me, B.J."

"Don't call me that," Billie laughed, shaking his head.

"Oh, why not? I always called you that."

"That was when we were kids, David."

"Whatever," he laughed. "Seriously, it's great to be here. We haven't talked in forever."

Billie scratched his head. "Yeah, Alyssa and I sort of got into it one day about it. She mentioned how I didn't make any effort to talk to my family and it made me realize how much of a jackass I was being."

"Billie!" I said. "There are kids here!"

He turned back to David and ignored me.

"I didn't expect you to be having your third kid already, let alone your oldest being almost sixteen."

"Yeah, well... time goes by fast."

"It's a shame our sisters and brothers couldn't make it," David sighed.

Billie shrugged his shoulders. "I'll make sure we all get together sometime soon."

Alyssa opened the last present and held up a bib that read, "Mommy and Daddy love to fight over me." Everyone laughed and a whole bunch of cameras went off. She stood up and thanked everyone for the presents.

"Who's up for some games?" She asked, holding up a roll of ribbon and a bowl of bubble gum. Everyone raised their hands and the one's who didn't, went into the kitchen to chat it up. My mom and dad sat on the floor with Klaus in front of me and Abby, Miranda and Mike came and sat next to them, David stayed where he was, and Billie sat between me and Abby.

"Okay, everyone take this roll, make it a length that you think that my stomach is from my belly button and all the way around," she said, handing the roll to Mike. He unraveled it until the ribbon hit the ground and kept on overlapping itself.

"Thanks a lot, Mike. I'm not that fat!" Alyssa laughed. We all laughed too. Everyone cut off their length and it eventually got to me. The ribbon was pink and white and it said, "How Big Is Mommy?" on it. I studied her stomach and cut the ribbon off at where I stopped unraveling it.

"One at a time, come up to me and put it around my waist and whoever wins can get a prize from this table," she said, pointing at a table next to her with a pink table cloth on it. Mike, Miranda, and Abby all lost and it was my turn. I put my arms around my 'aunt' and I put the tape around her stomach... I had lost too. Everyone 'aw-ed' as I sat back down. It was Billie's turn.

"Control yourself, man!" David yelled and we all started cheering and laughing at David. Alyssa laughed and rolled her eyes as Billie glared at all of us. He did what I did and he ended up making the ribbon overlap itself, showing that he had guessed too much.

"Thank you, husband of fifteen years, for making me look like a fatty," Alyssa laughed, grabbing the ribbon from Billie. He sat back down in shame. David went up and ended up winning.

"Are you serious?!" Billie yelled and crossed his arms. Alyssa and David high-fived and went to grab a prize off the table. David sat back down with a bag of animal shaped bracelets. Billie gave him a weird look.

"It's for my daughter... she loves them."

For the next game, we all received a piece of gum. The game was that we had to hold the piece of gum above our head for a minute and make the shape of a baby as best as we could.

"Ready... set... go!" Alyssa said, starting the stopwatch at zero. We were all laughing and looking at each other as we tried to make the shape of a baby.

"Time!"

Everyone sat their arms down on their laps and began cracking up. We all pointed at each others 'babies' and laughing. Alyssa came around and studied each and every one of us and announced that Martena had won.

"Yes!" She yelled as she threw the gum-baby down and went to the prize table. A few minutes later, Alyssa got everything cleaned up and went into the kitchen. She then brought out a cake, sitting it on the table in in front of the T.V.

"I could have gotten that, babe," Billie said, going over to her and putting his hand on her lower back. She winced in pain then rubbed her stomach.

"It's fine, I don't need to be any more of a couch potato than I already am."

"You're nine months pregnant, Lyssa. You're supposed to be a couch potato," Martena said. Everyone laughed.

On the cake, there were little blocks with an 'A', a 'B', and a 'C' on it with little footprints around it. The cake read, "Welcome to the World, Jenna Elaine."

"We did good," Billie said and kissed Alyssa. "I really like the name."

She smiled at him before cutting the cake in different sizes and handing the small ones out to the kids. She gave me and Abby big pieces with a lot of icing. Alyssa kept grabbing her stomach and sat down.

"Lyssa, just let me do it," Billie said, taking the cake cutter away from her. He passed out the rest of the pieces and sat next to Alyssa. She lifted her shirt and was rubbing her stomach over and over with some lotion.

"Are you okay?" I asked, setting my plate down on the table in front of me.

"I'm fine, don't worry," she smiled. Her face changed and she looked like she was in pain. "Oh my God."

"Do I need you to take you to the hospital?" Billie asked. Everyone looked at each other and my mom immediately took out her car keys and held them up.

"No," she whispered, sitting back up normally. "Just another week or two and she'll be here."

[The next week - Alyssa's POV]

"Hey, babe," Billie said as he walked through the door, carrying a few grocery bags. I mumbled a 'hey' back as he went into the kitchen.

I changed the channel to Fuse then went upstairs to tell the kids that their dad was home. Abby nodded her head then went back to writing. Keith, on the other hand, smiled and held out his arms for me to pick him up. I went back downstairs holding my nine month baby belly and my one and a half year old son. I sat him on the couch and he immediately laid down.

Sighing, I leaned back on the couch and tried not to pay attention to all the pain that this child was giving me.

"Was I gone too long?" Billie asked, kissing my cheek. I shook my head, closing my eyes. "What's wrong, beautiful?"

Billie rubbed my large belly then kissed it.

"Yesterday, I was told something that I thought I would never hear," I sighed.

"What was that?" He asked and placed Keith on his lap.

"A few teenage boys were making fun of my large stomach and told me that my life was a fake and that my husband didn't love me."

He stared at me with the look of rage and with a look of sympathy.

"That's not true," he whispered. Billie went to kiss me; I turned away. "Are you going to listen to some stupid teenage boys?"

"After that deal with Adrienne, I-"

"Don't ever bring that up!"

"Please don't yell, I just-"

"I fucking love you," he said with tears in his eyes. "I need you."

"Are you sure?"

"I've been sure since the day I bought this ring," he whispered, moving my engagement ring on my left hand. "Don't listen to them, Love. That whole thing with Adrienne and Christian means nothing to me."

"Christian's your son..." I began to say. "That isn't with me."

"Lyssa, I- I know. I don't want to go the rest of my life remembering that."

"Then don't."

"Just please don't bring it up," he breathed, putting hair behind my ear. "Please."

"Do you love me?"

"I've loved you from the moment I knocked Starbucks all over your Operation Ivy shirt," he smiled then kissed me. "Why do I always have to convince you that you're my everything?"

"You're the first to ever love me like this."

"I'm the first and I'm never giving that up," he told me and gave me a hug. "Now, let me do something."

Billie stood and went into the kid's closet. He came back with finger paint.

"Lift your shirt," he said, sitting on the coffee table in front of me.

"This sounds like the beginning of a bad porno," I sighed.

"Trust me, there are no camcorders," he winked. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"I need to get closer," he said and pulled the table closer to me and sat between my legs.

"Hey!" I said and slapped his arm. He smiled a cheesy smile and began putting paint on my stomach.

"You should be used to me being here by now," he said.

"Billie Joe!"

He just laughed.

"Paint!" Keith yelled and climbed onto me and Billie's laps. Him and I looked at each other in amazement.

"Did Keith just say his first word?" Billie asked. I nodded. Billie handed him a small tub of yellow finger paint. "Where'd you learn how to say that, buddy?!" Keith just smiled and opened the tub.

"Not over the carpet, honey," I said and pointed at him. "Go into the kitchen and do that." He obeyed me and Billie went back to what he was doing.

"He's going to make a mess, you know?"

I just shrugged. "What are you doing, anyways?"

"Go look in the mirror?" He smiled.

I pushed myself off the couch and waddled my fat ass over to the bathroom and turned the light on. I smiled and went back out to my husband. He drew a heart in the middle and wrote our initials and our kid's initials in smaller letters.

"It's so cute," I said, kissing him. I put my hands on the back of his neck and his went on my stomach; I laughed.

"I swear, the moment she pops out, you're getting the best of me. Nine months is too long," Billie whispered and kissed me again.

"No I'm not! I'm resting for the first month," I argued and sat back down. He groaned and laid is head on my knee. "Go put that stuff away and clean up."

Billie did as I was told. "Oh! Get the camera, too!" He groaned again and came out five minutes later with my Nikon D60. I stood up and went in front of a white wall knowing that the picture will come out better that way. He turned the camera on and I lifted my shirt.

"Now this is the beginning of a bad porno," he laughed, looking through the viewfinder. I laughed too and he focused the lens then pressed down on the shutter, causing the flash to go off. "Aw!"

"Delete it."

"No," he said, looking at the picture. "It's cute."

"Yes."

"No."

"Fine," I sighed. "Just take another where I'm actually ready for the picture."

Billie got prepared and I smiled, making sure I was ready.

"There's my 9-month-pregnant, sexy wife," he smiled.

"Oh, hush," I said, reaching for the camera. He pulled it away from me.

"Ooo, what's this?"

"What's what?"

He gave me 'the look'. "Our vacation we had to ourselves awhile back."

"Let me see those!"

Billie ran and sat on the couch.

"You're lookin' hot, Lyss," he said, pressing the side button. The next picture then showed up on the screen. "Your bikini top is off in this one."

"What?!"

I went as fast as I could to take the camera away from him.

"Don't worry, you were turned away and smiling at me. You were just teasing, I remember."

"I think you undid my top just to get this picture," I sighed.

"Maybe..." he confessed. "I like this one."

Total change of subject.

I turned the camera and saw a picture of us kissing at the beach.

"Let me see these," I said and grabbed it from him. I scanned through the rest and had to take a second look at the last one. "What the hell?!"

Billie looked at the screen and smiled. "That's going to be my wallpaper on my phone."

He whipped out his Blackberry and went to take a picture of it.

"No!" I yelled and moved away. "Why is there a picture of us making out and me on top of you?!"

"I wanted to catch the moment," he laughed. I rolled my eyes and turned it off.

"The kids are never to see these."

[Martena's POV]

Tre and I planned a special day for the kids. We both went upstairs; I in Alice's room and Tre in Klaus'.

"We're going to The Zoo," I smiled. Alice took after me for my love of the Zoo, Aquariums, and some other stuff. She quickly ran to her closet and picked out some 'summery clothes' to wear. I went back out into the hallway to see Tre standing with Klaus.

"Are you already done?" I asked. My son nodded his head. The three of us then went downstairs and Alice came running after us.

"I'm ready, I'm ready!" She yelled. I grabbed her arm, making sure she wouldn't fall down the steps with the flip flops that she was wearing.

"Are you sure you want to wear those?" I asked, pointing to her feet. "We're going to be walking around a lot. She nodded her head and ran out the front door. I sighed.

"She seems really excited," Tre laughed, grabbing the car keys from the hook.

"She takes after me," I laughed.

[Mike's POV]

"Is Jennifer asleep yet?" I asked as Miranda was coming down the steps. She looked exhausted.

"Yeah, I finally got her to calm down."

"Come here," I said, motioning her to sit on my lap... and she did. I put my arms around her and she kissed my forehead. "You're a good mother."

"And you're a great father."

"I know you hate my band-" I started to say; she rolled her eyes. "But, I'm so glad you stayed with me all these years."

"Mike, we haven't been married that long," she laughed.

"I know! But... I've never had someone stay with me this long."

"I love you," she said and kissed me. I smiled and hugged her tighter.

[Tre's POV]

"A monkey!" I yelled and ran with the kids to the money exhibit.

"Slow down!" I heard Martena yell after us. Knowing her, she was just going to walk instead of run. She hated running.

"Hey, we should hide from mom," Klaus said with a big smile. Alice agreed and they both begged me about it.

"I don't think she would like that," I added.

"So! That makes it even more fun!" Klaus whined. I high-fived him.

"Son, you definitely take after me and my crazy ideas."

Alice laughed.

"Okay, go!" I said and the three of us ran behind various statues. I saw Martena walk over to where we were and looked around. Nobody else was in here besides us. The monkeys kept making noises and it sounded like they were laughing. But then again, can a monkey laugh? I didn't realize that I had laughed out loud until I saw my wife charging toward where I was. Thinking I was slick, I tried running to where my kids were but Martena ended up tackling me to the ground.

"Get him, mom!" I heard the kids yell. I tried telling them 'no', but my wife kept me pinned.

"Was this your idea?" She laughed. I shook my head.

"It was mine," Klaus laughed, helping me off the ground. "Dad said that I took after him and his crazy ideas."

Martena began laughing.

"Why did you and Alice both laugh at that?!" I asked.

"Because! We don't need another Tre running around the Earth," Martena said.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Something that the kids shouldn't hear," she added and stood up.