Your Love is a Lie
One.
My mom always told me that two wrongs never made a right.
"Sorry Mom, but today I have to ignore you," I muttered to myself.
I called Ashley to give her some "rather unfortunate news." She answered on the third ring.
"Hey. Baby, look, I'm not going to be home in time for our movie night," I lied.
"Aw! No!" Ashley whined.
I could picture my girlfriend's big blue eyes winking at him while she faked her unhappiness.
"Yeah, I know. Valerie here at work called in late, but she should be here by nine. One of her kids got sick, so she has to take them to her sister's, about an hour away." My jaw clenched while I told story after story. How could Ashley like lying?
"Well tell her I hope they feel better. I may go out with Ryanne since you'll be home late, okay? The house feels so lonely without you."
And then almost as if he was cued, I heard him clear his throat.
"That's fine. I'll see you later, my love."
"Bye! I love you!" She kissed the receiver with a loud "mwah!" sound, then hung up.
In truth, I was already on my way home, now that I had given her a green light to leave.
As much as it hurt to do so, I pulled out the note I had found hidden in Ashley's guitar. When I had first found it, I assumed that perhaps she was using it to write a new song. She went on and on about a boy, which I assumed was me until she wrote the name. Steven. Once I had read that, everything clicked. The sudden need for nights spent with her sister Ryanne. The desperate need for absolute privacy when she was on the phone. The sudden lack of interest for reading books and the desire to always have new ones.
Tonight was it--I couldn't hold my tongue any longer.
I pulled up to our apartment about a half hour later. Her car was gone, as I had expected it would be. The inside was spotless, as usual. The bed was unmade. I couldn't remember if it had been made before I left, but something told me that it had been made. My stomach churned, mostly out of depression.
Ashley was not my first love, but she was the first girl I had ever lived with. She meant the world and more to me, but she was killing me. I wanted to stay, but it was a little late to confront her in any other way besides ending it.
My head started spinning, my world felt like it was ending, my heart was being ripped from my chest. I stumbled to the couch and forced myself to close my eyes, shut out the world, and just sleep.
The door slammed shut, causing my heart to jolt me awake. Sweat trickled down my body and plastered my hair to my face. I took a deep breath and stood up to check the clock. It was 2:04 AM. Ashley was just now getting home.
Water was splashing in our bathroom; a desperate attempt to cover the evidence. I patted the note in my pocked and grimaced while I waited for her to finish.
When she finally emerged from our bedroom, I was seated on a barstool with the note in my hand. The kitchen was lit up and facing across from our room, so I knew she saw me. Her ocean-colored eyes dropped to the floor while she walked past.
"You're up late," she said quietly.
"Where have you been?" I asked her.
"At Ryanne's. I was helping her sew new curtains for her nursery."
Ashley looked so innocent. Her dirty blonde hair was pulled back into the braided bun that she usually slept in. Her cream-colored nightgown was ethereal looking and brought out her star tattoos...which is a little strange, but gorgeous.
"It's hot in here," she announced, lifting the edge of her gown and shaking it to fan herself. Doing this, she exposed her more secretive tattoos on her tailbone and the set of three around her belly button. All of them were stars. She loved stars so much that she had gotten them permanently painted into her skin.
"Are you hot, Dawson?" she asked.
I shook my head no and kept staring at her while she fixed herself a glass of water. My heart broke, just knowing what needed to be said.
"Do you think about me when he fucks you?" I blurted out.
"Dawson! Could be you be more obscene with your language?!"
"How does it feel when you kiss him, knowing that I trust you? Huh?" My voice got louder with each sentence, but I couldn't control my rage any longer.
"Dawson! What are you talking about?!" she demanded, with a hint of guilt in her voice.
I took out the note and threw it onto the counter.
"Steven won," I said quietly.
Ashley touched the note, then touched my hand. I stared at the stars etched into her wrists while she talked.
"Dawson, baby. I'm sorry. I'll do anything....just please don't leave me. Let's just....let's just make this right," she pleaded.
I looked into her eyes, which were now glistening with tears. "Ashley?"
"Yeah?" She looked hopeful now.
"Your love was just a lie." Her face fell again. "Don't waste your breath, because it's too late." Her face fell even more. To be honest, it felt good to hurt her back after all the pain she had caused me.
"I want you out by midnight. This coming one," I informed her, standing up.
I blew her a kiss like she had done to me so many times before. "Sweet dreams, skank."
"Sorry Mom, but today I have to ignore you," I muttered to myself.
I called Ashley to give her some "rather unfortunate news." She answered on the third ring.
"Hey. Baby, look, I'm not going to be home in time for our movie night," I lied.
"Aw! No!" Ashley whined.
I could picture my girlfriend's big blue eyes winking at him while she faked her unhappiness.
"Yeah, I know. Valerie here at work called in late, but she should be here by nine. One of her kids got sick, so she has to take them to her sister's, about an hour away." My jaw clenched while I told story after story. How could Ashley like lying?
"Well tell her I hope they feel better. I may go out with Ryanne since you'll be home late, okay? The house feels so lonely without you."
And then almost as if he was cued, I heard him clear his throat.
"That's fine. I'll see you later, my love."
"Bye! I love you!" She kissed the receiver with a loud "mwah!" sound, then hung up.
In truth, I was already on my way home, now that I had given her a green light to leave.
As much as it hurt to do so, I pulled out the note I had found hidden in Ashley's guitar. When I had first found it, I assumed that perhaps she was using it to write a new song. She went on and on about a boy, which I assumed was me until she wrote the name. Steven. Once I had read that, everything clicked. The sudden need for nights spent with her sister Ryanne. The desperate need for absolute privacy when she was on the phone. The sudden lack of interest for reading books and the desire to always have new ones.
Tonight was it--I couldn't hold my tongue any longer.
I pulled up to our apartment about a half hour later. Her car was gone, as I had expected it would be. The inside was spotless, as usual. The bed was unmade. I couldn't remember if it had been made before I left, but something told me that it had been made. My stomach churned, mostly out of depression.
Ashley was not my first love, but she was the first girl I had ever lived with. She meant the world and more to me, but she was killing me. I wanted to stay, but it was a little late to confront her in any other way besides ending it.
My head started spinning, my world felt like it was ending, my heart was being ripped from my chest. I stumbled to the couch and forced myself to close my eyes, shut out the world, and just sleep.
The door slammed shut, causing my heart to jolt me awake. Sweat trickled down my body and plastered my hair to my face. I took a deep breath and stood up to check the clock. It was 2:04 AM. Ashley was just now getting home.
Water was splashing in our bathroom; a desperate attempt to cover the evidence. I patted the note in my pocked and grimaced while I waited for her to finish.
When she finally emerged from our bedroom, I was seated on a barstool with the note in my hand. The kitchen was lit up and facing across from our room, so I knew she saw me. Her ocean-colored eyes dropped to the floor while she walked past.
"You're up late," she said quietly.
"Where have you been?" I asked her.
"At Ryanne's. I was helping her sew new curtains for her nursery."
Ashley looked so innocent. Her dirty blonde hair was pulled back into the braided bun that she usually slept in. Her cream-colored nightgown was ethereal looking and brought out her star tattoos...which is a little strange, but gorgeous.
"It's hot in here," she announced, lifting the edge of her gown and shaking it to fan herself. Doing this, she exposed her more secretive tattoos on her tailbone and the set of three around her belly button. All of them were stars. She loved stars so much that she had gotten them permanently painted into her skin.
"Are you hot, Dawson?" she asked.
I shook my head no and kept staring at her while she fixed herself a glass of water. My heart broke, just knowing what needed to be said.
"Do you think about me when he fucks you?" I blurted out.
"Dawson! Could be you be more obscene with your language?!"
"How does it feel when you kiss him, knowing that I trust you? Huh?" My voice got louder with each sentence, but I couldn't control my rage any longer.
"Dawson! What are you talking about?!" she demanded, with a hint of guilt in her voice.
I took out the note and threw it onto the counter.
"Steven won," I said quietly.
Ashley touched the note, then touched my hand. I stared at the stars etched into her wrists while she talked.
"Dawson, baby. I'm sorry. I'll do anything....just please don't leave me. Let's just....let's just make this right," she pleaded.
I looked into her eyes, which were now glistening with tears. "Ashley?"
"Yeah?" She looked hopeful now.
"Your love was just a lie." Her face fell again. "Don't waste your breath, because it's too late." Her face fell even more. To be honest, it felt good to hurt her back after all the pain she had caused me.
"I want you out by midnight. This coming one," I informed her, standing up.
I blew her a kiss like she had done to me so many times before. "Sweet dreams, skank."