With These Bloodshot Eyes

I lay awake in my bed, a sigh in my heart. Since Harry and I had had what seemed to be one of the best nights of my life, he had been ignoring me. I felt like a plague, like a disease that he would die if he caught. Maybe I was. Maybe he just didn't want to see me any longer. My other had always told me, that even wizards were really only after one thing and now, Harry got that thing. It made me nervous and I had been fidgeting all day, through all my classes.

What was I to do? I was losing my friends, my sister, and my boyfriend all at once. Harry was so amazing, and I couldn't find a single flaw, but it seemed he found one in me... I had been losing Ron to Hermione and Hermione to studying, though that was hardly new.

But my sister seemed to be the loss that scarred my most. How could I lose the only one who even spoke to me in my family? I couldn't help but think it was my fault, as well. After all, I made her choose...

But, if she was a good sister, she wouldn't have chose what she did, right? Oh, god. My head was starting to hurt. He raised my tired arm and pressed my thumb and index against my temples. How could so much happen in only my sixth year? I just wanted to join the order, to work against Voldemort- why would my sister ever want to work with them?

It was getting too hard to be the black sheep of the family and no matter how any parts of my body ached, my mind continued to race. I could keep a hold on myself and I was sure anyone who stayed around me long enough, they could definitely tell. But no one stayed any longer.

Perhaps... I should follow in the steps I'm meant to. Maybe I should stop trying to be the contradiction, the one wizards and witches admired, and just blend in. It would sure be easier that way...