Vampire Academy

Hide and Seek

Gerard's P.O.V.

I…I couldn’t stop screaming inside of my head. Why was this so hard? When my grandmother died it had been the hardest thing in the world for me, but that was because I loved her more than anything in the world. Why was the pain that I felt from losing my brother so much harder to take? I was beyond not close to him, as the entire world could see. We were universes apart, so why should I have even cared? I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe. When it came time for dinner, I couldn’t even bring myself to get out of bed and eat, despite Frank’s numerous attempts to “console” me. Frank had brought me food back from the dining hall, and when I tried to swallow a bite of the mashed potatoes I vomited right in the square wooden bowl.

I was now laying underneath the dense covers, my head smashed into the soaking wet pillow. I couldn’t stop think about everything that had been wrong with us. Suddenly everything I had ever said to him was coming back in a torrent of sound clips and video fragments. And when I thought about the things he’d said and done to me I could only feel sad instead of angry. I could only wish that things had been different, that I had talked to him once in a while instead of shutting myself off to him. It occurred to me that maybe he had needed me, his older brother, and he was reacting to the fact that I was never there for him. I thought about maybe if we had been closer, maybe, just maybe he would have come to the school with me, and then he never would have gotten hit by that car. Or maybe I would have chosen to stay with my little brother, to guide and to help him, and then I could have been there to keep him from getting hurt and maybe it could have been me who was hit, not my brother. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

It was well after midnight before my exhausted body finally let itself be taken over by sleep.

There were kids running around all over the playground, shouting and punching and laughing together. I looked around and finally a small, brown-haired, brown eyed boy with a Gumby t-shirt and sandals caught my eye. It was my brother. He was four years old.

“Come on Gewawd, where aw you?!” He shouted from on top of the jungle gym at the top of his little lungs. Another boy around the age of eight years old, with pale skin and dark hair came out from the trees.

“Boo!” I shouted, scaring the shit out of my four year old brother. Mikey jumped about three feet, or at least high enough to where he fell off the gym and down on the pebbles below. He started screaming the endless wail of an injured child. Fear replaced the boyish excitement in my hazel eyes and I immediately jumped down to help my brother. “Oh, man, are you alright? C’mon Mikey, where does it hurt?” Mikey sniffed and pointed to his knee. “Can you bend it?” He tried and could.

“It hurts…”He mumbled through tears, his little voice absolutely heart-breaking.

“I’m sorry Mikes…It’s just a scrape though, okay? Here, I’ve got a band-aid.” I pulled the plastic wrap off of the band-aid I had in my pocket and placed it gingerly on the scrape. Mikey winced but when it was all over he immediately stopped crying. “You okay?” I asked again, helping my brother up. Mikey nodded and then smiled.

“It wasn’t that bad.” He mumbled and then started giggling.

“Of course not.” I laughed and then gave him a hug. “Now, come on, I think I hear dad calling us.”

The image of years past faded away and suddenly I was in a small, perfectly white room. I was sitting on the floor, cross-legged. “That’s incredibly sweet.” I whipped around to see a girl who was around my age standing behind me, staring at the floor. She was quite a sight too see in this room. Her hair was as white as the walls and her eyes were liquid, cobalt blue. She was extremely pale, and wore a plain white dress. Her eyes met mine and I was completely entranced. “So, what brings you here?” She asks, padding over to me on bare feet and sitting next to me. Something about her voice was incredibly unnatural, but I couldn’t quite peg what made it so…

“I…I don’t know…I think I’m dreaming…”I couldn’t stop staring into her eyes. Swirling bits of white floated in the iris, accompanied by flecks of black. It was absolutely fascinating…

“Dreaming…” She laughed softly. “That’s what they all say.” I blinked, confused. “If you want an explanation, this is the center of all life, believe it or not. This is where the worlds of the living and the dead converge. You can’t see it, but hundreds and thousands of life forms are entering and exiting this room all the time. Some stay in this room for a very long time before they either go back to life, or pass through to death. I thought about this for a long, long while.

“Why…why are you letting me see this?” I asked finally, barely able to hear my own shocked voice.

“So you won’t be shocked the next time you’re here.” She said, gazing off in front of here.

“…d-do you mean when I die?” I ask timidly, not really wanting to hear the answer.

“No, no. You’ll come here several more times in life before you come in your death, if everything goes as planned, and I just thought you might need to see it, to understand.” I shook my head slowly.

“Why will I come here again? Am I…I mean…”

“I can’t explain that to you.” She said, smiling faintly. I sighed heavily. “But you expected that, didn’t you?” Suddenly she stood up and adjusted her dress. “In any case, I will see you very, very, very soon if events go the way they should. Until then, don’t be depressed, okay? And don’t go home. Continue your studies at the academy continue growing as a person and please don’t be affected. You’ll understand everything soon.” And with that she turned and began to walk off.

“Wait!” I shouted to my surprise. She turned around slowly, and smiled softly. “Are you the grim reaper?” She giggled under her breath, and I blushed at the stupidity of my own question.

“I have more names than you could ever begin to comprehend, but you may call me Ame. And yes I suppose I am this “grim reaper” of which you speak, but not at all in the way you see it.” And with that she was gone, perhaps to help the souls of those clinging to life decide their fate.