You Call it Misery, I'll Call it Love
Always the Victim, Never the Accused
“All I know is that he hit her! I never knew he raped her!” my mother protests. “Never!”
“Oh really, then how do you explain how your DNA got on the comforter we found that contained traces of your husband’s sperm and your daughter’s blood?” a prosecution lawyer asks my mom.
“I, I don’t know,” she answers sadly.
God! She must have known something! She was in the house that night! I think to myself.
“Well, if you knew that he hit her, then why didn’t you try to stop him?” the lawyer asks.
“Because, my husband is an addict to alcohol. He’s terribly hard to control when he’s drunk. He’s an angry drunk! He has no idea what he does to his daughter! I swear!” my mom says
“If he’s an addict, then why didn’t you try to help him? Or at least move out of the sake of your daughter?” the lawyer asks.
“I never thought it would go this far,” my mom says, staring at me.
“Well, it did. And by all means, why didn’t you try to help him? You didn’t answer my question,” the lawyer presses.
“Because he’s a drunk! What was I supposed to do? Get hit myself! Better her face then mine!” my mom says.
“That’s all for today,” the lawyer says, turning around with a disgusted look on his face.
Yeah right! Dumb bitch! If you only knew my pain! And he does know what he does to me! Or did to me… she’s lying!
“Prosecution calls Mr. Ron Atwood to the stand.”
My dad crosses the courtroom with a swift movement. His shackles clink together, making an annoying sound. He holds his hands close to his waist as they are handcuffed tightly together. He has a angry and confused look on his face. He doesn’t dare look at me, the victim of his gruesome attacks.
A court officer swears him in under oath, in which he cannot lie under. He mutters the oath quietly under his breath so that no one else can hear but the court officer. After he is seated, the judge nods at the prosecution lawyer, the same one who had just interviewed my mom on the stand. He proceeds closer to the center of the courtroom and begins.
“Mr. Atwood, describe your relationship with your daughter.”
“Which one?” my dad asks.
God!
“Mary Kate sir,” the lawyer tells him firmly.
“Oh, Mary. Well, er, she’s pretty. She’s not as smart as I’d hope she’d be. She’s very distant from her mother and I. I never know what she’ll do next. She’s a pain, really.”
“How so?” the lawyer presses.
“She’s uses drugs, she doesn’t listen!”
“So, is this why you hit her?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that I hit her, I’d say that I’ve guided her, tried to convince her that drugs aren’t good for her,” my dad lies.
Such an asshole! I know what he’s doing!
“What type of drugs to you allege that she’s used?”
“Tobacco.”
“Sir, she just turned 18, she’s allowed to use tobacco.”
“Well, she’s been smoking since she was 16, what else was I to do?”
“Sir, are you aware that you have a drinking problem?”
“No.”
“How much would you say you drink on a regular basis?”
“I go through a six pack every day and a bottle of whiskey a day as well.”
“So, you’re always intoxicated to some point?”
“No.”
“Do you remember hitting your daughter?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“She wouldn’t listen.”
“To what?”
“She wouldn’t listen to what I wanted her to do.”
“Such as?”
“Such as playing with her nephew, spending time with the family. Getting out of that damn room of hers for one thing.”
“And you felt that it was necessary to inflict violence upon her to get her to listen?”
“Yes.”
“Are you aware that you’ve injured your daughter greatly?”
“No.”
“Do you remember injuring her to any extreme?”
“Yes. I remember feeling her arm break beneath my fingers.”
“Was that enough to stop you?”
“Not really.”
“Why not?”
“Because I felt she deserved more.”
“So, you raped her.”
“Not then, no.”
“Do you remember raping her?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I was drunk, looking for sex.”
You could have gotten it from mom!
There is a gasp from the jury. Everyone’s attention is focused on my dad. On what he’ll say next. Quite frankly, to me, none of this makes sense. I’ve never touched drugs in my life! Cigarettes don’t count!
“Care to elaborate on that, sir?”
“I was drunk. I was tired. But, I wanted physical attraction. I wanted something new, something I’d never seen before. She was the first thing I could get my hands on. I used her to get what I wanted. She screamed. All of that screaming and I kept going. She didn’t know what was coming, but I did and I didn’t care. I wanted it so badly that I didn’t care.”
“That’s enough for today.”
Oh my god! Get me out of here! I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t speak. I can’t move. I can’t do this anymore. He just confessed and I’m sick. How could he do that to me? To his own flesh and blood? His own daughter! I’m sick! Sick! Sick! Sick! I could throw up right here, right now. I hate him for this. I always will. That bastard! I hope he lives a long torturous life in prison!
“Calling Mary Kate Atwood to the stand.”
Shit! I forgot that I’m going on today!
I stand up and walk slowly across the room. I place my right hand on the bible and am sworn in. I am officially under oath. I sit down next to the judge and look out at the crowd. The courtroom is filled. My parents and sister sit at the defense table while my lawyers sit at the prosecution table. I scan the crowd. I see Darren, Tess, Cody, George, who is Tess’s husband, a few friends from school, and a lot of strangers.
Here we go
“Mary Kate, I’m going to ask you a few questions that I’d like you to answer, okay?” one of the lawyers asks me. I nod.
I’m really nervous about this. He’s treating me like a child, I’m 18 and I don’t care. I think I really need to pee.
“Has your father ever hit you?”
“Yes.”
“Has your mother ever tried to stop him?”
“No.”
“What has your mother done?”
“She’s cleaned up my wounds and helped me into bed after the fact. So, basically, she’s done nothing to prevent it from happening again.”
“Right. Why do you think your father has hurt you?”
“Because I’m not good enough. I’ll never be good enough. Not as good as Jess. He can’t stand to see me fail, or in his eyes fail.”
“Define good.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Define good. How is it that you think that you’ll never be good enough, or as good as Jess.”
“Oh. My sister has always had it all. The grades, the friends, the boys, the lavish lifestyle. Everything. She has had everything. I haven’t really lived up to that. I’m a very quiet person. I do my own thing. My father expects me to live up to Jess’s standards when in fact, I’m quite comfortable living in my own.”
“Are you aware that your father’s an alcoholic?”
“Yes.”
“Have you seen him drink?”
“He drinks all the time. Whenever Cody Jr. isn’t around.”
“Do you remember when he raped you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember why?”
“I’ve never known why. All I know is that he was drunk, that there was alcohol on his breath. I had no choice in the matter. I was his prey and he was my predator.”
“That’s all for today.”
I walk off the stand and go back to my seat, relieved that it is all over.
“The court has heard enough today. We will meet back tomorrow morning at nine for the closing arguments and then the Jury will be left to decide,” the judge announces. He then slams his mallot against the desk and leaves.
Everyone stands up and walks out of the courtroom as my family is taken away in handcuffs. Again, I go through the torture of the flashing lights, the reporters’ shouting, asking for a comment, the whole nine yards of it all. All I want is for some privacy, but I know now that I’ll never have that again. My case has made national headlines. I’m a new victim to the child molestation club. I hate it. I wish this never happened, but I know it happened for a reason. It’s all in the best interest of me, and that’s all I want right now.
“Oh really, then how do you explain how your DNA got on the comforter we found that contained traces of your husband’s sperm and your daughter’s blood?” a prosecution lawyer asks my mom.
“I, I don’t know,” she answers sadly.
God! She must have known something! She was in the house that night! I think to myself.
“Well, if you knew that he hit her, then why didn’t you try to stop him?” the lawyer asks.
“Because, my husband is an addict to alcohol. He’s terribly hard to control when he’s drunk. He’s an angry drunk! He has no idea what he does to his daughter! I swear!” my mom says
“If he’s an addict, then why didn’t you try to help him? Or at least move out of the sake of your daughter?” the lawyer asks.
“I never thought it would go this far,” my mom says, staring at me.
“Well, it did. And by all means, why didn’t you try to help him? You didn’t answer my question,” the lawyer presses.
“Because he’s a drunk! What was I supposed to do? Get hit myself! Better her face then mine!” my mom says.
“That’s all for today,” the lawyer says, turning around with a disgusted look on his face.
Yeah right! Dumb bitch! If you only knew my pain! And he does know what he does to me! Or did to me… she’s lying!
“Prosecution calls Mr. Ron Atwood to the stand.”
My dad crosses the courtroom with a swift movement. His shackles clink together, making an annoying sound. He holds his hands close to his waist as they are handcuffed tightly together. He has a angry and confused look on his face. He doesn’t dare look at me, the victim of his gruesome attacks.
A court officer swears him in under oath, in which he cannot lie under. He mutters the oath quietly under his breath so that no one else can hear but the court officer. After he is seated, the judge nods at the prosecution lawyer, the same one who had just interviewed my mom on the stand. He proceeds closer to the center of the courtroom and begins.
“Mr. Atwood, describe your relationship with your daughter.”
“Which one?” my dad asks.
God!
“Mary Kate sir,” the lawyer tells him firmly.
“Oh, Mary. Well, er, she’s pretty. She’s not as smart as I’d hope she’d be. She’s very distant from her mother and I. I never know what she’ll do next. She’s a pain, really.”
“How so?” the lawyer presses.
“She’s uses drugs, she doesn’t listen!”
“So, is this why you hit her?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that I hit her, I’d say that I’ve guided her, tried to convince her that drugs aren’t good for her,” my dad lies.
Such an asshole! I know what he’s doing!
“What type of drugs to you allege that she’s used?”
“Tobacco.”
“Sir, she just turned 18, she’s allowed to use tobacco.”
“Well, she’s been smoking since she was 16, what else was I to do?”
“Sir, are you aware that you have a drinking problem?”
“No.”
“How much would you say you drink on a regular basis?”
“I go through a six pack every day and a bottle of whiskey a day as well.”
“So, you’re always intoxicated to some point?”
“No.”
“Do you remember hitting your daughter?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“She wouldn’t listen.”
“To what?”
“She wouldn’t listen to what I wanted her to do.”
“Such as?”
“Such as playing with her nephew, spending time with the family. Getting out of that damn room of hers for one thing.”
“And you felt that it was necessary to inflict violence upon her to get her to listen?”
“Yes.”
“Are you aware that you’ve injured your daughter greatly?”
“No.”
“Do you remember injuring her to any extreme?”
“Yes. I remember feeling her arm break beneath my fingers.”
“Was that enough to stop you?”
“Not really.”
“Why not?”
“Because I felt she deserved more.”
“So, you raped her.”
“Not then, no.”
“Do you remember raping her?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I was drunk, looking for sex.”
You could have gotten it from mom!
There is a gasp from the jury. Everyone’s attention is focused on my dad. On what he’ll say next. Quite frankly, to me, none of this makes sense. I’ve never touched drugs in my life! Cigarettes don’t count!
“Care to elaborate on that, sir?”
“I was drunk. I was tired. But, I wanted physical attraction. I wanted something new, something I’d never seen before. She was the first thing I could get my hands on. I used her to get what I wanted. She screamed. All of that screaming and I kept going. She didn’t know what was coming, but I did and I didn’t care. I wanted it so badly that I didn’t care.”
“That’s enough for today.”
Oh my god! Get me out of here! I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t speak. I can’t move. I can’t do this anymore. He just confessed and I’m sick. How could he do that to me? To his own flesh and blood? His own daughter! I’m sick! Sick! Sick! Sick! I could throw up right here, right now. I hate him for this. I always will. That bastard! I hope he lives a long torturous life in prison!
“Calling Mary Kate Atwood to the stand.”
Shit! I forgot that I’m going on today!
I stand up and walk slowly across the room. I place my right hand on the bible and am sworn in. I am officially under oath. I sit down next to the judge and look out at the crowd. The courtroom is filled. My parents and sister sit at the defense table while my lawyers sit at the prosecution table. I scan the crowd. I see Darren, Tess, Cody, George, who is Tess’s husband, a few friends from school, and a lot of strangers.
Here we go
“Mary Kate, I’m going to ask you a few questions that I’d like you to answer, okay?” one of the lawyers asks me. I nod.
I’m really nervous about this. He’s treating me like a child, I’m 18 and I don’t care. I think I really need to pee.
“Has your father ever hit you?”
“Yes.”
“Has your mother ever tried to stop him?”
“No.”
“What has your mother done?”
“She’s cleaned up my wounds and helped me into bed after the fact. So, basically, she’s done nothing to prevent it from happening again.”
“Right. Why do you think your father has hurt you?”
“Because I’m not good enough. I’ll never be good enough. Not as good as Jess. He can’t stand to see me fail, or in his eyes fail.”
“Define good.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Define good. How is it that you think that you’ll never be good enough, or as good as Jess.”
“Oh. My sister has always had it all. The grades, the friends, the boys, the lavish lifestyle. Everything. She has had everything. I haven’t really lived up to that. I’m a very quiet person. I do my own thing. My father expects me to live up to Jess’s standards when in fact, I’m quite comfortable living in my own.”
“Are you aware that your father’s an alcoholic?”
“Yes.”
“Have you seen him drink?”
“He drinks all the time. Whenever Cody Jr. isn’t around.”
“Do you remember when he raped you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember why?”
“I’ve never known why. All I know is that he was drunk, that there was alcohol on his breath. I had no choice in the matter. I was his prey and he was my predator.”
“That’s all for today.”
I walk off the stand and go back to my seat, relieved that it is all over.
“The court has heard enough today. We will meet back tomorrow morning at nine for the closing arguments and then the Jury will be left to decide,” the judge announces. He then slams his mallot against the desk and leaves.
Everyone stands up and walks out of the courtroom as my family is taken away in handcuffs. Again, I go through the torture of the flashing lights, the reporters’ shouting, asking for a comment, the whole nine yards of it all. All I want is for some privacy, but I know now that I’ll never have that again. My case has made national headlines. I’m a new victim to the child molestation club. I hate it. I wish this never happened, but I know it happened for a reason. It’s all in the best interest of me, and that’s all I want right now.
♠ ♠ ♠
I know this is all very graphic, but I felt that you should know the extent of what actually happened. This was a very difficult chapter to write because of this. Please feel free to comment! Thanks for Reading!