11:11

“Alex, I’m booking the rooms. You’re sharing with Zack.”

I look up from my duffle bag and see Shannon leaning against my door.

“Sounds good,” I tell her.

She nods but doesn’t leave. “I packed for Jack. Do you need me to help you?”

“Nah, I’m good Shan. But thanks.”

Shannon smiles. Jack appears behind her in the hallway. He’s pulling his bag and seems to be struggling.

“Jack, if you pick it up it will be a lot easier.”

Jack ignores his girlfriend’s advice and continues to drag it. Once he disappears from my view I go back to packing. I have to fit 2 days worth of clothes in here. I tend to over pack.

“So, why aren’t you coming with us?” I ask Shannon. She walks a little bit further into my room.

“I have to work.”

Her gaze lands on my dresser. It has a bunch of picture frames but I have a pretty good guess at which one she’s looking at. I’m proven right when she walks over and picks up the picture frame with a photo from Alexis’ graduation.

“Alex…why don’t you just call her?”

“It’s not that simple, Shannon.”

“I think it might be.”

I walk over and take the picture from her and put it back face down on the dresser.

“If you call her you can figure it out.”

I shake my head and open the top drawer of my dresser and pull out 4 pairs of boxers to pack.

“Fine, Alex. But you can’t be pissed at her. You’re not putting any effort into this either.”

“Shannon, I love her, alright?” I say. Shannon looks slightly surprised by my outburst. “She is everything to me and I did everything I could to make sure that she knew that. And then she cheated on me! I don’t think I’m the one who needs to be putting in some effort!”

I can feel my heart beating faster and my thoughts are racing. This happens are single time I think about all of the things I did to show that girl I love her.

“Alright… I get your point.”

Before she leaves I see her roll her eyes. She just doesn’t get it.

**

“I really think we’re going to get signed tonight, Alex,” Jack says to me quietly. He’s gotten yelled at by the lady in front of us twice already, and the plane only took off 20 minutes ago.

“Don’t jinx us, loser.”

“I just have a good feeling.”

“I hope you’re right. Did you and Rian come up with the set list?”

Jack nods and shoves his hand into the pocket of his hoodie. He pulls out a folded piece of paper.

“We’re only doing six songs, correct?”

“Correct. Let me see what you picked.”

He hands me the paper and I scan it quickly. When I see the words ‘Umbrella – cover’, I groan.

“Do we really have to do Umbrella?”

“That’s the song they’re expecting. We have to.”

“Fine. We’re going to get beer cans thrown at us so fast…”

“Whatever. Maybe they won’t be opened and we’ll get free beer.”

I laugh. Only he would think that way.

**

“Did you sleep at all?”

Zack is staring me down, waiting for my answer. When I slowly shake my head ‘no’ his hands go up to the back of his neck. That’s what he does when he’s nervous.

“I’m sorry-”

Zack interrupts my apology. “It’s not your fault, you can’t help it.”

“It won’t happen tonight. This is too important for me to-”

“Your body does not know that Alex!”

I hang my head and he starts to pace the room. I knew I shouldn’t have told him. Now he’s going to tell Jack and Rian and everyone’s going to be walking on eggshells around me because oh my God, Alex is going to have a mini breakdown. If I do, I’m going to fuck everything up for everybody.

“Okay, we’ll just have to be really observant, I guess. Are you feeling alright?”

“I feel fine now.”

“…Ok. We’ll be fine. You will be fine. Let’s not think about it.”

“You’re not telling them?”

“Of course I’m telling them! Better yet, you’re going to tell them! They have to know, Alex.”

Zack holds out my hoodie and I take it. I don’t want to tell them. They’re just going to flip out.
**

“You guys are on next. They’re off in about a half hour, okay?”

I nod to Mike, the owner of the club, and he writes something down on his clipboard. He’s been nice to us so far, making sure we have everything we need.

When he’s out of earshot, that’s when Jack speaks.

“Alex, are you okay?”

“I am fine.”

“Okay… Just checking. If anything happens, no big deal. I’ll be there and everything will be fine.”

“I know, Jack.”

Out of the corner of my eye I see Rian pointing into the crowd and Zack is mouthing the words ‘oh, shit’. When I turn to them to ask what they’re doing, they act like nothing’s wrong.

“What’s the matter with you two?” Jack asks.

“Nothing.”

I ignore them and look out into the crowd of people. Most of them are heading towards the door, and one girl in particular catches my eye. Alexis. And her hair is … black?

“Fuck, he sees her,” Zack whispers to Rian and I feel like the biggest loser ever.

“Is that … Ryder?” Jack asks. Nobody answers.

Ryder’s all over my girlfriend – wait, is she my girlfriend still?

“Alex, maybe he’s just-”

“She’s drunk,” I tell myself, and Jack’s eyes narrow. “I can just tell…”

“Alex, how the fuck can you tell?”

I shrug. Alexis is only 10 feet from me and as she passes, she looks over. At first I don’t think she recognizes me, but then her eyes narrow as if she knows. Then Ryder pulls her out the door. Fucking stupid asshole.

Zack’s the first one to speak. “Slut,” he says in disgust. “And she dyed her hair black. What a freak.” I can’t even defend her on this one because it sure didn’t look like Ryder was just helping her out.

I just stand there, leaning against the wall. Jack gives me an ‘are you okay?’ look, and I just nod.

“We can do this,” Rian says. The first band starts up their second song and I can’t help myself – I slam my head back against the wall and just stare up at the ceiling. Life is the biggest bitch right now.