You Always Go And Rescue Me

Nothing was a distraction for the agony I was feeling. I couldn’t stand the thought of her with Marc, regardless of what happened between them…but I also knew I was responsible for why she turned to him. My heart broke the second she gave me the necklace back…I couldn’t believe that we were really over, that she wasn’t mine anymore and I hated myself for causing this spiral of events.

Other than playing hockey I didn’t do anything else. I simply didn’t care. I messed up everything that mattered in my life; there wasn’t anything that made me smile. I was moping around my place with Travis. He’d been trying to cheer me up but it was useless. We had the night off, finally. We were home and able to relax, and all I could think about was her.

My phone rang. I knew it wasn’t her, but I was hoping it was.

“Hey Zach, it’s Marc.”

“Yeah, what’s up?” He had a set to be calling me.

“Look, are you going to be home tonight? Do you mind if I come over?”

“Why?”

“I want to explain everything to you.” This ought to be good.

“I’ll be home. Come when you want.”

“Alright man, see ya soon.”

“Who’s coming over?” Travis yelled at me from the other room, obviously hearing the conversation.

“Marc. Marc wants to come over and talk.”

He walked back in and gave me a dirty look. I shrugged. I was interested in hearing what Marc had to say because he was the only person I knew of that had seen her right after she ran away that night.

It didn’t take too long for Marc to show up. When he got there Travis answered the door and he walked in hesitantly. We walked over to the couch and neither of us could sit down.

“I know there are some rumors going around, and if I were you I’d be pissed at me too.”

I just looked at him. Of course I was pissed at him, but I was more pissed at myself.

“Look man, she came over right from your banquet thing or whatever. She was a mess, she was soaked and she was sobbing.” I felt the lump in my stomach grow when he told me how upset she was. “She came to me because she wanted to avoid you. She told me what happened…she was devastated and I wasn’t going to push her away.”

It was killing me to hear this. “Did you sleep with her?”

Marc gave me an obnoxious laugh. “Dude, do you realize what you’re asking me?”

I breathed in and tried to avoid lashing out.

“I’m not going to lie to you. I gave her clothes to change into because she was soaked and freezing. I let her stay the night because she was in no condition to go home. I walked her to my room, I let her sleep in my bed…”

“Are you trying to kill me?” I cut him off.

“Listen. I let her sleep in my bed, she grabbed my hand and tried to convince me to stay with her, but she also didn’t mean it because all she wanted to do was hurt you. I slept on the couch. She was crying and throwing up all night, but all she could say was how much she loves you and how much you hurt her!” His voice was elevating at me. I didn’t know what to say.

“Man,” he shook his head in frustration. “Are you an idiot? She loves you, she’d do anything for you, and you had to go mess it up!”

“You don’t understand-“

“No, what I understand is that you don’t deserve her. I would love to be with her, but I also know it would be wrong to do anything about it because you two belong together. I told her she’s with who she should be. I just don’t understand why…”

I had to sit down. I felt my heart sink into my stomach and I felt even worse knowing I had pushed her even further away by jumping down her throat instead of explaining what happened.

“Marc…I love her.” I felt so deflated.

“Really?” his response was sarcastic towards me.

I let my head fall into my hands. This had blown way out of proportion.

“Really,” I stated weakly.

His voice softened. “I know you do. Look, I don’t know what happened and to be honest, I don’t care. What I do care about is that fact that my name is getting dragged through the mud when nothing happened. If you only knew how much she loves you…”

“I know. You don’t need to keep rubbing it in, man. Believe me, I know,” I sighed.

Then it hit me. He was admitting he had feelings for her.

“Are you in love with her?” I asked.

He paused for a moment. “I’m not in love with her, but I could be if I had the chance. She’s incredible, man. I don’t see how you could mess it up. You’re so freakin lucky.”

“You think I don’t know that?” I let out a frustrated breath of air. “I’ve messed up. I went to go talk to her and instead I just freaked out and pressured her on you two.”

“Ouch. Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know! I just heard you two were together and I couldn’t even function thinking of her running to you…and you two being together, it was driving me crazy.”

He just looked at me. “Now imagine how she felt actually seeing that.”

When he said that I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach. He was right. I knew he was right anyway, but hearing it and being reminded of that night just made me want to rip my hair out. I brought my hands up and pulled at my hair in frustration.

“Um, Zach.” Travis had come in the room, I didn’t even notice. His voice was very somber, very quiet, and his face was white as a ghost when I looked up at him.

“Zach, I just got off the phone with Courtney…I don’t know how to tell you this, but uh… Sarah’s in the hospital,” he said with concern.

“What!” I yelled. My heart dropped, I thought it was going to beat out of my chest. “What happened?”

He closed his eyes and tried to find the best words to say what he had to say. “Sean…”

As soon as he said his name I knew exactly what happened. I wanted to throw up and I wanted kill him. I never felt as low as I did right now…I failed her in so many ways, and she paid the price. I went to run out the door to find Sean and beat his ass but Travis grabbed me and pulled me back. “Going after him isn’t going to make much difference right now, listen to me- he…he raped her-he beat her pretty bad, you need to worry about her now and take care of him later.”

I wasn’t a baby and I didn’t cry often, but knowing what he had done to her, and knowing I wasn’t there to protect her was like someone stabbed me in the heart. I started sobbing just thinking about what she must’ve gone through. I had to be by her side…I should’ve been with her. She didn’t deserve it. I thought of him touching her, hurting her, forcing himself…ugh, I couldn’t even finish the thought without crumbling to the ground.

“I’ll go to the hospital with you,” Travis insisted.

“I’m gonna deal with Sean,” Marc was grinding his teeth.

“No. Not tonight. Ordinarily I wouldn’t care, but she needs you both to worry about Sean on a different night. Believe me, when you do, I’m going to help.”

“You don’t even like her,” Marc stated.

“I didn’t understand her. I didn’t understand how Zach could be so wrapped up in a girl he barely knew, but I saw how happy he became the more he was with her. And…then I met Courtney…and I understood…” he was being sincere.

“Are you alright to drive?” Marc asked.

I grabbed my coat and threw on my shoes. “It doesn’t matter. I’m tired of not being there for her. I’m not leaving her and I’m not letting her push me away until I explain everything to her,” and with that we walked out the door and I drove like a maniac to the hospital where the woman I love was suffering.